Feeds

back to article Silicone implants that generate 'leccy invented for US spooks

In news sure to delight topheavy Z-list celebrities everywhere, US boffins funded by shadowy federal agencies say they have developed a new kind of silicone implant which can generate electrical power from the movements of the bodily area in which it is placed. The new technology, developed at Princeton University in the States …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Alert

what ?

"the Princeton team specifies that the kit can also work in reverse"

You ain't trying that one on me ! My trousers drop for no boffin !!

1
0
Happy

I,for one.....

.....welcome our new Tazer wielding Fembot overlords.

2
0
Coat

I can see the possibilities...

Never again will a man fail to respond when a girl rubs her jubblies against him...

Dirty mind? Me?

And don't ask what where I use that anorak...

0
0
Joke

License To Kill?

So does this mean that 'double-O 7' is soon going to become 'double-D 7'? =;)

1
0
Coffee/keyboard

I can see the applications...

Fit it to the stock of a rifle and the recoil will power your ipod in downtown Helmand.

Wait what?

2
0
Happy

"creating a material which generates electricity when squeezed, mashed or wobbled."

Well thats the world's energy crisis solved! :)

1
0
Silver badge
Joke

Blimey!

Dose this mean instead of bra size, breasts will be measured in the same way as batteries?

"Cor! Grab an eyeful of those double A sized'uns! Blimey, check out those stonking 9 volters!"

2
0
Gold badge
Joke

Re: Blimey!

I see a highly profitable trade smuggling illegal "AAA"s and coin cells into Australia in the making.

1
0
Silver badge

Something for the weekend, Sir/Madame? :-)

Don't tell me it's Friday already!

Wow!, where did that week go to.

"..was memorably described as nothing more than "two bags of silicone" recently - she would presumably be able to jumpstart a truck merely by loosening her lingerie and doing a few brisk knee bends." .... The mind boggles.

0
0
Grenade

It's stroke of genius....

Combine this tech with the Oz law requires small breasted woman to be enlarged ( http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/01/28/australian_censors/ ), and the world's engry problems are solved!!!

1
0
Silver badge
Happy

Always did wonder ...

... where the Bionic Woman kept the power supply for her upgrades. (Strangely enough, I never conjectured about where Steve Austin kept his, though ...)

0
0
Coat

Is there a problem officer?

Well officer - it may look like we've "parked up", but my passenger and I are stranded and just trying to recharge my electric vehicle.

No really.

3
0
Silver badge

One for Viz magazine

The new Viz superheroine - Tazer Tits

1
0
Thumb Up

Playmobil

But where's the Playmobil illustration of a truck powered by silicone implants?????

Great excuse for a chat up line though "Excuse me, my batteries have run out, I wonder if you could help me ...?"

0
0
Coat

"the Princeton team specifies that the kit can also work in reverse"

In Soviet Russia, boobs motorboat YOU!

Anyone...?

IGMC.

2
0

There's enough material there

for a whole series of porn vids.

0
0
Silver badge
Coat

"a material which generates electricity when squeezed, mashed or wobbled"

Excuse me, miss, but I noticed your laptop battery is running a bit low, may I lend you a hand or two...?

0
0
Go

Video of it in (vigorous) action...

...or it never happened.

0
0
Silver badge

Wait a minute

Why should we have to have those things implemented under our skin ? Couldn't they work just as well in, say, pads between our feet and our shoes ? Seems to me there's enough squeezing there to do some good in leccy generation.

Add pads in pant seats and you'll have all the beancounters running their computers without need of a plug. And they'll be exercising as well ! Medical and economical issues gone in one stroke of genius !

Send my check to my lawyer.

0
0
Bronze badge
Coat

er...

Methinks someone is, perhaps, missing the opportunity here?

0
0

Heidi Montag isn't going to power many batteries, then, is she?

As I read it, the body parts involved have to be capable of actually moving, in order to generate any power. If that's the case, then most existing examples wouldn't be able to generate enough power to keep their staple guns on stand-by.

0
0
Thumb Up

The world's energy crisis solved ...

... at a stroke! (or two, or three)

I look forward to having a hand in developing this product

0
0
Thumb Up

Overheard in the Tora Bora caves...

"Are you sure you weren't tracked here Ahmed?"

"Of course not!"

"OK. Nice tits though."

0
0

useless for our century

Were all far to lazy !!!

0
0
Silver badge

Works in reverse

We might have just found the perfect silent notification for SMS messages.

THWUD - BOING! You have mail!

0
0
Gold badge

maybe not so silent..

..ah..ah..aaah..AAAAAH

No, no, just an SMS

:-)

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Loads of applications...

All silliness and allusions to the reproductive act aside, this could be (if the power output (or mechanical motion) is good enough) a useful invention. I can think of loads of potential applications, if it can provide the power or motion required.

0
0

Errr....

So where does one obtain a sample?

I would be highly entertained if this research resulted in a perpetual motion machine - maybe a bit of silicone hanging down, with wires to power an electric motor that just taps it once in a while to maintain the wobbling ;)

0
0

Jumper Cables

Where would one attach them?

0
0
Bronze badge

Suicide boob- ...er ... BOMBer...

The left one is plastique, the right one's the power supply.

@ LinkOfHyrule --

"Dose this mean instead of bra size, breasts will be measured in the same way as batteries?"

I was thinking more on the lines of "Those things have gotta be 40 watts, at least!"

0
0
Bronze badge
Grenade

"Please fondle my bum"

So you'd have to be careful *NOT^ to wrestle a thusly equipped terrorist to the ground (like they did with the Totally Pants bomber) lest you trigger the explosive.

0
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

40 watts

"I was thinking more on the lines of "Those things have gotta be 40 watts, at least!" Hehe yes!

Oh and it will be easy to tell which breasts are Duracell - they have gold nipples!

0
0
Bronze badge

Trust the Coppertop...!

...Oh, there are just so many, aren't there?

0
0
Bronze badge
Boffin

Would go well

with this: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2009/11/03/silk_electronic_implants/

although those circuits would, in the case of certain individuals, require serious overvoltage protection.

0
0
Coat

There, I fixed it for you

Install this in every man and woman over the age of 18, buy several thousand stairmaster's and set up a rolling schedule for round the clock workouts.

I just solved the obesity *and* green energy problems in one fell (foul? :P) swoop!

Ok, ok, i'll get my coat :P

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.