back to article Sun squeals over 'UK's first iPhone baby'

This morning's Scottish Sun held the front page with an "exclusive" detailing how a couple used an iPhone application to help them conceive. Disappointingly, the app used wasn't measuring sexual performance, nor did the couple turn to a little light phone-based porn to get them into the mood. The Free Menstrual Calendar keeps …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Jobs Halo

hallelujah

What can the doubters possibly say now? Between this miracle and the chap in Haiti being saved by his iPhone surely this is indeed the Jesus Phone.

Praise be.

0
0
Silver badge
Happy

Boobies?

Kind of avian.

0
0
Gold badge
FAIL

Wasted opportunity.

So they found that having a child was indeed possible without resorting to IVF or adoption through the simple expedient of shagging on the right day, as identified by this iPhone app.

I have a far simpler solution and it's a bloody sight more fun than an iPhone too.

Shag every day......

3
0
Pint

iWoman only on iPhone

Hmm looks like I'll have to get a iPhone(tm) now.

This program that the couple used (we shall call it iWoman) will be very handy for letting me know when it's safe to go to the pub after work, or that it's her time of month and I risk a bollox by doing so.

iPhone has just truly became a mans best friend. Stuff the dog.

The beer for obvious reasons.

0
0

Indeed, I may seek the app out myself.

Could be a great help in knowing when to just say "yes dear" and cower...

0
0
Stop

I've gone past that stage...

I'm more likely to say f**k you and file for divorce.

1
0
WTF?

next app...

...DNA match :-)

1
0
Joke

I can't quite believe it

Sex? I always assumed most iPhone users were just w*nkers....

4
0
Headmaster

Shurely Shome Mishtake?

Arithmetic, not Mathematics???

0
0
Silver badge

Journos, not accademics

Remember, El Reg is run by journos, so their comprehension of the difference between maths and arithmetic may be a little shaky.

Cut them some slack. Grammer and spelling are quite enough to fill their little journo heads....

0
0

Semantics...

... it's still numbers and calculations

0
0
Stop

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

"Calendar used to conceive for first time ever"

Yes, that says it right there. This was made possible by the iPhone, as though no such capability existed before the iPhone. Like the guy in Haiti "saved" by his iPhone. He had a first aid app on his phone which suggested methods at preserving his life. Unlike actual first aid training. Or a little booklet. And the iPhone woke him every twenty minutes to keep him from sleeping with his concussion. Unlike an alarm on a watch. Or every one of the last four cell phones I have owned have been capable of... Also, from what I have heard (which may be apocryphal), some of the first aid advice was actually harmful given it couldn't be given with consideration to the whole context of his situation.

This is irritating.

1
1
Joke

Wag the Dog ...

... or flat earth news? The man in rubble story stinks of PR. Initial reports were of how his phone went off every 20 mins until the comments against the stories were full of 'an iPhone battery would never last that long' ... and now I see the CNN version includes something along the lines of 'and when the power got to 20% he turned the phone off as this had already trained his body not to sleep' ... sounds like a lot of Cupertino PR and spin behind this evolving the story in the face of criticism ... also noteworthy is the fact that I have yet to see any story mention the make of SLR that allowed him to see in the dark to treat his wounds and find a safe place to wait. Very fishy all round! Either TOTAL spin or twisted spin.

0
0
Jobs Halo

the iphone DOES help you out.

The iPhone is so much more powerful than that. Mine is always in my pocket and I was worried about the effect of all that wi-fi, signal etc on my little wrigglers.

Safe to say, the iPhone actually makes 'em more potent and we were a little surprised to find out we were gonna be parents after only 2 attempts. I'm sure if I'd upgraded to a 3GS this would have happened first time.

Anyway, the boy is 13 days old now.......although he does have a look of Lord Jobs about him.

0
1

Ohgawd!

Do we really want iPhone users BREEDING!

0
1
Headmaster

@James Hughes 1

"Grammer and spelling..."

....That's either ooops or a nice little try at irony...

0
0
Badgers

iConceive

Should you be allowed to have babies if you a) only have sex when the calendar says so and b) can't actually figure out the calendar and have to buy a phone and install an app on it?

Will the new childs first words be "tv remote"?

0
0

Oh, *that* Sun

... the tawdry newspaper, rather than the Borged-by-Oracle the-network-is-the-computer vendor. So no SPARC, Java or Solaris angle.

Should we expect Playmobil re-enactments of the proud parents dutifully obeying instructions from an iPhone?

0
0
Jobs Halo

oh for eff's sake

Lets face it, The Scum squeals over readers who can read, not just look at the tits or the pictures on the sports pages.

another non story made into a story because it has a tenuous link to a piece of mass consumer fruitware.

said piece of electronics "must have" ability further purpetuated within the lower IQ banded populace by such shonky journalisum. slow news day for the red tops?

Jobs must be rolling in the moola. a fule and its money etc. etc. and as such, i thank him.

take the stupid to the gutter and leave them there.

0
0
Thumb Down

Didn't work for us.

The iPhone app was about a week out on our actual conception date, compared to what it suggested.

0
0

ahead or behind?

Was the iPhone ahead or behind the actual conception date given by your scan, which is I assume how you know for comparison.

Could be that the iPhone predicts ovulation. if you do the makey baby that day, your swimmers have to treck half way round the world to meet the egg, which then has to treck half way back round the world for implantation into the uterus.

There's dozens of websites which do all this stuff. Some adjust a little for conception optimisation rather than ovulation, some dont. My thinking is maybe the iPhone app calculates based on the latter rather than adjusting.

My wife and I wanted a baby in a particular month, so we planned ahead... calculated the cycles etc and fed data into a website which gave us our window. We took a shotgun approach, and showered the whole area a few days either side of that suggested. 9 months later we took delivery. And all without even having an iPhone. Hell... the original iPhone wasnt even around yet when we started working things out.

0
0
IT Angle

Ah yes

Date eggs drop, post Aunt Flo visiting = dictated by nature, who naturally like to keep it to herself, and doesn't always follow a schedule.

Iphone app predicting above event = complete cobblers, unless the iphone now includes a hormone detector I was previously unaware of.

Beware apps predicting Nature. She doesn't like it when you do it, and will likely do something to spite you for it.

Gaia FTW!

0
0
IR

Proper headline

"People who can't add up to 28 have a child together."

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.

Forums