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back to article No World Cup anthem for England football heroes

The England football team will jet off to South Africa this year without the benefit of the traditional rousing official anthem, the FA has announced. The shock decision, which means our plucky lads will have to rely entirely on their highly-paid skills to secure World Cup glory, marks the first time since 1966 that fans have …

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Flame

"Heroes?!"

Lazy, overpaid, nancy-boy chavs, more like.

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re "Heroes?!"

Psst. Dude. That was _sarcasm_. This _is_ The Register, y'know.

But, while we're on the subject, you guys _could_ try and get David Bowie to lay down some new verses for... oh, nevermind.

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Next thing we know...

...Simon Cowell will turn this into an X'Factor special.

X-Factor: A Song For South Africa

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No World Cup anthem for England football heroes

no heroes so no need for an anthem!

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Anonymous Coward

I blame Fat Les

and, of course, Baddiel and Skinner, who pointed out that we all like football, vindaloo is coming home and something about needing three irons on a shirt.

Lo, with these ancient truths, did all other footy songs become just a bit up themselves and crap.

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Joke

Footie, Footie, Footie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrYuDGWBJEk

^^ Was the definitive England football song. Who needs the John Barnes rap or Skinners 3 Lions to lead us into the world cup.

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Paris Hilton

Footie Anthems

Almost universally bad; about the only one I can recall liking is "Three Lions on a Shirt" - they should just re-release that every time and be done with it.

Paris - because balls make her sing - allegdly

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FAIL

Oh there IS a surprise

As someone with only a vague passing interest in football, I'm not really surprised. The last few official anthems have been as memorable as.... as memorable as.... hang on... you know... that one. You know, the song that wosstheirnames did.

An anthem needs to be simple, memorable and capable of being belted out at 400 decibels by pub-fuls of pissed fans. I can only think of two footie songs that fit that bill - Nice One Cyril[1] and Vindaloo.

[1] Ask yer parents, young 'uns.

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FAIL

Scottish

SuBo is scottish. I doubt very much that she'd sing a song for england.

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Coat

Hmmm....

You never know, it's not like there would be much point in her singing for Scotland is there...

Mines the one with earplugs in the pocket

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Anonymous Coward

The Scots always help out the English

They gave the UK - of which England makes up the major part - their top talent:

Tony Blair

Gordon Brown

Alastair Darling

Their MPs also gave the above their votes in order to pass legislation that was England specific - e.g. the introduction of tuition fees in English Universities.

They are very generous, so SuBo will no doubt be willing to assist England with a song.

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Top talent?

Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling are the top talent from Scotland?

So that's why we are in such a godawful state?

======

@ AC - You are Damian McBride and I claim my £10.

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Well, damn...

...couldn't they just reissue Slade's "Give Us A Goal"? Stop me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that the most played-to-death song on the radio over there for a while, second only to "Merry Christmas, Everybody"?

D'ahh... sigh... they just don't write 'em like Noddy'n'Jim did anymore.

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Grenade

However will we survive...?

... We'll have a bunch of over-paid prima-donnas prancing around whilst tedious commentators keep making references to a victory that was close on half a century ago and there won't be a crap song which will be instantly forgotten...

... Tell you what, I'll compose one, to be played on the world's smallest violin...

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Stop

AAAAARGH! Nineteen Sixty Bloody Six

Jesus christ here we go. I don't even like football and I can't stand how much that ropey old nonsense gets wheeled out.

Admittedly I did let myself in for that one by actually reading the article, but come on it's like the fabled big red button marked "do not push". Before I know it I've clicked myself into the article and now I'm sitting here tapping away like some reactionary Daily Hate reader at the mere mention of the word "paedo".

*CRY*

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Joke

You know Susan Boyle's...

Scottish, right?

Hmm, maybe not such a bad idea at that....

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Bah!

The answer lies in recycling, and in three magical words:

World Cup Willie.

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WTF?

No badgers?

"lukewarm response" to World at Your Feet? Well, can you blame us?

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Flame

Oh dear

What ever are we going to do without a anthem?

Might as well go throw my self under a train right now..........

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IR

Why bother

Everyone will say how bad it is, regardless of actual merit. Then everyone will sing Three Lions at the games.

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Grenade

Football? FIFA? FA?

You what?!?

Oh, that's that "game" where overpaid undereducated [*] blokes kick an air-filled sack around a muddy bit of grass. Well, whatever floats your boat.

* - if their Wives-And-Girlfriends are anything to go by.

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thanks for the beatles vid

That's sparked off my memory - could we just have a wider reissue of the Cuban Boys' "unofficial Euro 2000 anthem", aka Inertia Kicks, the dance-ish and decidedly low-distribution followup to Cognoscenti vs Intelligentsi (ie Hamster Dance :D) with the catchy strapline "losers, we're all a bunch of losers"?

It would be a good way to find out if our sports stars actually work on a solid Reverse Psychology basis. 30-some years of overwhelmingly positive songs have failed to relight the fire. Let's take the p*ss out of them and see if that gets them playing any better, if for no other reason than to prove the chanting fans wrong.

Or of course the Slade number, possibly in it's more recently rehashed guise by Grandad somebody and his son icantrememberhisname.

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Pint

England 5, Germany 1

A reworking of the classic "England 5, Germany 1" by The Business - the best football anthem of all time - would be a better way to go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZWE4thApfE

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Megaphone

ohhh

good chance of winning then.

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IT Angle

They will be coming home

After the first round anyway. So no point in wasting time on some dirge that nobody can stand anyway.

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Football missing in on 'cashing-in' opportunity shock horror

I'm no Prince of Darkness, Simon Cowell, but did no one in the FA realise that there was an opportunity to run a prime-time, phone-in, six-month-long, Saturday night TV 'talent' contest to find the 'best' team song?

ITV are gagging for content and cash right now and here was the perfect chance to fill more of our gutter-scraping tabloids with slebs.

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"Our boys"??

England is only a region of the United Kingdom; it is not a country. Some of us live elsewhere in the UK and they are not "our boys".

As always, we pray that England win something, somewhere, sometime if only to avoid endless grainy pictures from 1966.

If you must have music to make them perform, may I suggest the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies".

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FAIL

Before we point the finger...

Lest we forget that England isn't the only nation that has given us appalling, cheesy football anthems, often embarrassingly remembered when the team comes home with nothing to show for their travels.

As for the poke about 1966, I entirely agree. I can only praise those that were involved in that win but, hell, it was a long time ago now and the closest that England ever got after that was the year of the "Hand of Sod" (which is another cliche that gets rolled out far too often).

Is it any wonder that this is the case when the teams at the top spend so much time and money on buying overseas talent and don't pay enough attention to the talent developing at grass roots?

As for the last English World Cup "anthem", as somebody already pointed out, "lukewarm" is probably better than it deserved.

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FAIL

FAIL

Not a nation, I grant you, but also not a 'region' - it is a country.

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Flame

World Cup Winners

Now i am Scottish but don't take this the wrong way because of that. I remember hearing once or twice or maybe a million billion times that England won the world cup in 1966. I really would hate for them to win it again (not because i'm Scottish, more because i currently have a will to live..) Any time England play anyone the commentator will talk about 1966 (**sigh**) - as if i really care.. Look at Germany, Italy and Brazil - how many times have they won the world cup? Do you think they bang on all the time in their own respective countries like they were THE only ones ever to win it??? I think not...

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Troll

Re: World Cup Winners

Which year did Scotland win it then?

Ah. I see. Now I understand where you're coming from.

(This post should be read to the background accompaniment of 80,000 people singing "You're shit and you know you are".)

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WTF?

Oh really?

"marks the first time since 1966 that fans have not enjoyed a catchy soundtrack". Fans may have enjoyed a catchy soundtrack but it's almost certainly never been the official England song. I notice the way that you slipped in a reference to 1966 there. Since England have only ever won once and that was 44 years ago, there's really nothing to crow about. Italy and Brazil have won many, many moer times...

As for getting SuBo to record an anthem for them - she's not English. Of course, as we all know, everyone from England thinks that the rest of the UK is part of England. The Welsh, Irish and Scottish take a very different view.

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Joke

WHAT??

"everyone from England thinks that the rest of the UK is part of England" ??

Are you talking about the same xenophobic English that I know? The English are the most exclusionary race on Earth. English people tend to think that people from the next town over are foreigners. We certainly don't count the Scots, Welsh or Irish in our numbers. Given the choice we don't even include those from Norfolk or Cornwall.

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Coat

titular nonsense

hehe, I think we only acknowledge Birmingham (the land of the speech impediment) as English because Ozzy came from there.....

hmm, maybe I shouldn't say anything as I'm from Coventry...

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Grenade

WTF

Quote "As for getting SuBo to record an anthem for them - she's not English."

So What ? Neither are most of the 'English' fruitballers!

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Aye, Right!

TeeCee.....who thrashed England not long after their 1966 fluke?

John H. Woods....England ceased to be a country on its own when the Scots took it over in the 17th Century. Since then it has been a region of the United Kingdom.

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No song, no problem. No bloody title either.

Maybe they'll get to the final this time. Capello looks like he eats babies for breakfast, and washes them down with hydrochloric acid and Swarfiga. Hopefully he's knocked some discipline into their haircuts and they'll play well enough to deserve being thought of positively.

Then again, drawing Belarus in the group stages... Gimme a break! I'm no great footie bod, but Belarus isn't a nation known for great football. It'll probably be another awful crapshoot.

Why are these guys paid so much again?

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