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back to article US Army's robot kill-chopper chopped

The US Army's plans for powerful robotic combat formations have been downgraded, according to reports. A pilotless helicopter gunship and droid ground vehicles intended to carry supplies and clear mines have been axed: however a robot tank project and other automated weaponry will proceed. Armed Robotic Vehicle, Assault, Light …

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shaking

I like how the droid in the picture needs at least one chock to help it rear up at that frightened car.

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Boffin

model

that one is a model done up for photo shoots.

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Fear not, fleshies

There's a chock behind the rear right hand wheel in the photo. Despite it's potential for self-awareness and fleshy domination, it can't go up hills!

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Grenade

Ponits deducted for external assist ?

So where's the droid ally who got out to strategically place the wheel stop to allow our future master to mount its puny civilian ancestor ?

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Joke

So,.....

Frogstar Scout Robot series only goes up to Class B now?

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Happy

The way these things work...

...and the reason they fail is all down to their name, or more accurately, the acronym of the name. "Future Combat Systems", that's way too sensible, self-explanatory and the TLA isn't particularly funny. Call something a MULE on the other hand and you're trotting all the way to the bank.

Oh and a, "totally secure wireless networking system"? Mr. Page, please, I thoroughly enjoy your writing but surely you missed out one of your wonderfully sarcastic "ahem"s or something there.

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Joke

So most of them are...

...terminated.

scnr

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Silver badge

The Mule definately has a future

http://fireflyfunsite.kevinsullivansite.net/images/mule.jpg

http://www.brothers-brick.com/2006/06/07/the-omnibus-serenity-and-firefly-post/

大象爆炸式的拉肚子

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Grenade

Missile launcher useless

Has anyone noticed how utterly useless the missile launcher would be if a target - human - got up close and personal? All they'll have to do is get on top of that round ball - which I assume is a camera - break the antennas and hey presto. That is of course assuming that it's a 1 on 1.

Grenade - for obvious reasons.

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FAIL

the Armed Robotic Vehicle Assault Light (ARV-A-L)?

Naming FAIL: it should be Light Assault Robotic Vehicle Armed (LARVA). It has a nice, threatening ring to it, as in "We were attacked by LARVA".

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Flame

Juvenile comment

No, "attacked by LAVA" has threatening ring. Admitting you are having trouble with maggots is seriously uncool. Well, OK, the lava is double-plus uncool too, but you know what I mean. If you don't, see the icon.

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Grenade

Hey Ho - Lets Blow

Yes... the ultra modern techno US&A army and it's bot forces.

Lemmee see, we have 20 jillion chinese trying to hack into everyone else's net works.

We also rampant cyber crime and hacking.

Even retards looking for evidence of UFO's can manage a pretty good probing.

One really good killer hack, to the killer network, and it's dead.

Unless Microsoft's "blue screen of death" or Linux's "frozen screen of wait" does it for them.

Back to bangers and bayonettes when it all back fires - along with Plan B.......

What? No Plan B?

Hit Panic Button - "N for Nukes"...

"What? they have hacked that too?"

Then comes Plan H or Plan S.

H is for Hiri Kari, and S is for Sissy Boy.

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Alternate Cation

Baby Bolos at Play

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Coffee/keyboard

go on, sir. Pull the other one.

"linked together by a... totally secure wireless networking system."

Excellent! Best laugh of the day (absent a new tale from the BOFH). Where shall I send the bill for a new monitor?

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Grenade

Ahem, Defence Industry, the U.S. government is broke

Why does the U.S. defence industry find it hard to understand that the Pentagon, and the U.S. government, is a little short of cash?

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FAIL

Killing machines

Robots always remind me of ED209 in Robocop ;-p

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RDF, Jamming

" totally secure wireless networking system"

Have they ever heard of Radio Direction Finding ? These "robots" are actually remote-controlled systems that need to blast gigabits of video data data back to their human controllers every hour.

So when these contraptions move in, the enemy will know it well before they turn up on the battlefield. Exact numbers, location and speed. You don't need to know much more.

Also, enemy would probably also have a good time jamming those communication links and then simply dropping a few litres of burning petrol on these Very Dangerous Machines.

When you look at these WW2 tank movies even those well-armoured T34s have lots of infantery running around them to protect against petrol bombs, Panzerfausts and all sorts of mines attached by enemy hiding in a hole.

Now this unmanned machine is supposed to have the slightest chance of survivial ? Or maybe it is still protected by humans with assault rifles and hand grenades ???

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Anonymous Coward

DIESEL

Maybe they could spend some money to finally develop a 'merkin Diesel engine that can compete with German or Russian designs. That would actually solve a lot of supply problems and be a useful innovation. Just call MTU in Friedrichshafen.

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