back to article Women to 'chest drive' Bulgarian airbags

Women considering going under the knife to boost their assets are being offered the chance to "chest drive"* implants before committing to surgery. The Hospital Group explains that prior to popping in a pair of top-of-the-range Natrelle breast implants, its surgeons deploy the Biodynamics® Breast Analysis System, which involves …

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Joke

Body Scanners

>> which come in "4 projections, 4 gel types"

Funny this article popped up just after i was reading the Airport Full Body Scanner comments. And i was considering how one might conceal Gel types on the body.

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Stu
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Software

Wow.

What it must have been like on the development team when they wrote this software!

How did the guys keep their cool in front of the female staff when somebody proposed a texture mapped breast implant simulation graphical system! Thumbs up all round I'd wager.

And what lucky sod got to take the photographs and laser scan the ladies?

Ooooh mama.

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Gold badge

I hope he wasn't a game developer..

A group of military people have already discovered this can lead to armed kangaroos.

I admit I have trouble mentally teaming this up with breast pictures, but if there's a way, a game developer is sure to find one..

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Joke

Darwin cries fowl.

We're not doing any favours to the chicken gene pool if all the sophisticated ones get filleted to make fake boobs.

Don't PETA have something to say about murdering chickens for such a poultry cosmetic enhancement?

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The writer doth protest too much

One suggests TeeCee has been cooped up too long, now trying to find an angle to please the chicks so he can get a quick gobble ;).

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Pun

That sounds like the "breast" idea I've ever heard.

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Coat

Good idea

This is a good idea, you can ensure that the end results will be as you had envisioned rather than going under the knife and realizing afterwards that everything has gone tits up.

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Silver badge
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What's the point?

At the end of the day they will always be a poor (and obvious) substitute for the real thing.

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Anonymous Coward

Good idea

Although a comment on the Sun seems to say surgeons have also been doing that for years.

Of course, it's a tiny bit inaccurate to say it's as simply as before and after pictures. Learning about some of the things that can go wrong (or even normally) for a few weeks after breast implant surgery almost put me off my lunch.

It would be better to make women happier about their bodies, even if I have to admit that all things being equal (fortunately they never are) I'd prefer a woman with reasonably sized bosoms.

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@Darwin cries fowl.

Top man! New keyboard required!

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Happy

I'm sure...

..some women would be happy with just the vest!

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Joke

And where exactly is the breast angle...

And where exactly is the breast angle in this story?

oops posted in wrong story! This comment was meant for that story on databasey thingy-ma-bobs or some s**t!

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Hmmmm

does ones partner get to offer an opinion on the "reality" of the implants, or is this purely for women with inferiority complexes who can't use their personality to win partners.

Anyhow, my vote goes for no silicon and a women with A personality. To be crude one doesn't fuck silicon, one make processors from silicon.

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Headmaster

And to be pedantic...

one doesn't make breast implants out of silicon, one uses silicone ;-)

Otherwise, totally agree with your main point.

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Are they BAAPS approved?

- The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons

I kid you not :)

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Paris Hilton

Reminds me of another intersting bit of work.

Measuring Human Lactation.

1. Take stereoscopic images

2. Send images to mining company

3. Fudge factor to convert back from metric tonnes, of the relevant ore bodies

4. Smiles all round

http://mammary.nih.gov/reviews/lactation/Hartmann001/index.html

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Coffee/keyboard

"figure 1"

In that link and its context. OMFG, you so owe me a keyboard for that alone.

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Anonymous Coward

@Neal 5

I think you need to learn the difference between silicon and silicone.

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