IPS in cunning 'get an ID card, get crucified' scheme
The Identity and Passport Service's hilariously triste efforts to make ID cards cuddly has passed another millstone (shurely 'milestone?' - Ed). As a follow-up to plastering its propaganda with happy fingerprints, IPS now has a flash animation of them as well - derived, weirdly, from a movie you might be familiar with. With a …
who was crucified by the totalitarian Romans, who incidentally also crucified Jesus Christ for, well, nothing really if the Bible story is to believed. Now wishes to try and paint him as a Roman sympathizer.
Whatever next, Mother Theresa as an Angel of Death, Gandhi with an AK-47, these government workers would push the patience of a saint, so I suppose all things possible.
...Mother Theresa was pretty much the angel of death. She didn't ease anyone's suffering because she believed you needed to suffer to be closer to God - so her hospitals were the most awful places imaginable.
Utter, utter douchebitch.
... I completely agree with you about Mother Theresa, I do have to point out that Ghandi with an AK-47 would fuckin' ROCK!
I thought it would be a while before they admitted the true purpose of these cards.
And of course if you haven't got an ID card it must be because you are guilty of something else, so fetch the nails.
It would be nice to think this is the successful result of some infiltration and subversion plot by NO2ID.
Somehow though I think not.
... a Viz character who saves people from all sorts of dangers using a wheelbarrow full of ID cards.
It's the dickheads at IPS who seserve crucifixion - a bunch of complete tossers!
Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
Perhaps, but that would be amusing rather than ironic.
That you should bring up the life of Brian though
To paraphrase;
Meg Hillier 'We've got lots of ID cards round the back'
Jailer 'Oh, don't worry about her, sir. She's ma-- she's m-- she's ma-- she-- she-- she's m-- m-- m-- she's m-- she's m-- ' *thump* 'She's mad sir'
I'll wager they try to take the funny away from "I'm Brian, and so's my wife" next.
People's Front of Judea? Fucking splitters...
Let the Life Of Brian quoting begin!
Mine's the toga with "What have the Romans ever done for us?" pamphlets in the pockets -
er maybe in the folds... I guess togas don't have pockets.
Hmmm... So, get an ID card for £30 and be able to travel in the EU, give proof of your age to people, and get fined £1000 when you forget to tell the IPS that you've moved. What a bargain!
Forget to update the details on your Voluntary ID card and you will find out how quickly they will crucify you.
Oh and I'm Sporticus and so's my wife
You can't make this stuff up.
My theory is that they wanted to do "I'm Brian" (which would have worked) then someone reminded them that the scene was based on Spartacus.
Clearly the group which put this together and approved it haven't a braincell between them.
No surprise there. Did you see Michael Howard on Celebrity Mastermind? He came last with 12 and believe me the show was really dumbed down for the occasion. If that's the (former) leader of a major political party we can see how clueless politics must be generally.
Well, that's one of the programs my kids watch ruined...
Looks like IPS are going to be really cross with El Reg.
The slaves shouted 'I'mSpartacus' voluntarily, willing to be tortured and killed in their hero's place.
That kind of volunteerism is exactly what was asked for from Manchester, and yet they failed to step up to the honour. Shame, shame and yet again, Mancunians, shame. They will never make a movie about you.
I'd piss myself if Universal hadn't agreed to using their iconic line for this campaign and sued the IPS for thieving it...
It would be even funnier than that, coz we'd be paying for it.....oh.
It seems the government know as much on the film Spartacus as they do about Drug policy and internet reform.
Using Spartacus is so wrong that I though it was a joke.
It is not
I have applied for an ID card.
Mine's the one with my ID in the pocket.
> I respect the laws... I have applied for an ID card.
There's no law says you have to apply for an ID card, so you're making up entirely imaginary new ones that don't even exist just to show how keen you are.
That's no mere "respect"; that's "world-class brown-nosing", is what that is!
As El Reg has pointed out, Judith Iscariot is now an elected official. Any chance you can get a comment from her?
I seem to recall that Spartacus was a Thracian, and not a "British Citizen" as claimed by the ID card.
As for "So that's that one nailed then", you could at least have waited until I'd finished my tea.
I'm thinking of investing in a company that can make covers for finger tips so that people can give ID cards the same fingerprint.
Then we all become Spartcus
Or more likely, the entire population gets rounded up under suspicion when one of us does something wrong and gets caught.
With the added bonus we all get put on the peodo register just because we were once arrested in connection with a case of shoplifting
I understand that holders of the ID card are required to report changes, such as addresses, to the authorities. Suppose said individual is a foreign student who returned home, or is someone who immigrated. Are they required to continue reporting such changes after leaving the UK?
> "What are the benefits of the card?
* It’s a more secure form of identity – Built-in security features make this a more secure way to help protect your identity against fraud."
Actually it isn't a form of identity, my identity is a form of identity. The card is a form of documentation. Besides, more secure than WHAT?
> "* You can use it for travel within Europe – The National Identity Card works like a passport within the European Economic Area (EEA) and Switzerland. "
Why would I want something that 'works like a passport' but with none of the benefits of being a passport? sounds GREAT.
> "* It’s convenient and portable – You just need to carry the one card to quickly help prove your age or identity. "
Like my drivers licence?
> "* It will help to protect the public – Our checks mean that criminals and terrorists will not be able to successfully apply for cards using multiple identities. "
A) Yes they will. and B) You don't need multiple identities to blow things up, you stupid stupid dolts.
And those are the only four reasons they give in the case for identity cards. None of them even backed up with proof or evidence. I am gobsmacked.
Unless they changed the rules when I wasn't looking, if you're not resident in the UK you don't qualify for an ID card. So presumably you'd have to give it back, or something. Not that that would be likely to get you off the ID register...
You ARE slaves. Given to the government at birth by your perants in exchange for a faximaly of a birth certificate.
So stop complaining IPS are just pionting out the facts of life.
I suspect you even think you own vehicals. If thats the case why do they give you a V5 with your name and address on it as the registerd keeper and not the owner?
And while we are on the subject the V5 is a grant of use, not to you the man or woman who paied for the vehical but the fictional legal personality that is MR/MRS X at Y address.
If you don't beleve me look up John Harris on youtube and he will explain the law far better than I can.
No. That's stupid, and you're stupid.
Or otherwise string a sentence together, seems to be against the ID cards? :-)
with that level of literacy, you'll need 20 of the damn things before you manage to spell anything correctly.
Means 19 other people wont need one to get the numbers of takers up!
So where's the link to the flash animation?
http://static.2mdn.net/866610/IPS_IDcards_spartacus_300x250.swf
...wants me to go and crucify myself, I've got it going round in my head now, it's so bad, like a really naff midi tune.
I for one welcome the ID card carrying overlords.
Rob
I don't need to watch the film now. The entire script seems to be in the comments.
p.s. He has a wife, you know...
.. my preshus.
Actually i do really want an ID Card.
I don't see what the problem is, the government has all the information anyway, just scattered across 50 different systems.
then why do I need to apply? shurely they could simply mail me the card.
The terminology is because the person who is responsible for the car is not necessarily the person who owns it. Usually they are the same person but they don't have to be.
...when I was caught speeding in a company car, it turns out the registered keeper was the company but the owner was the leasing company, or something along those lines.
Mine is the one with the highway code in the pocket.
Rob
