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back to article They said what? Quotes of the Year

Back by popular demand, here is our Annual Hall of Stupid, leavened with a few moments of genuine wit. It's a Stephen Fry Free Zone. Almost. “The City Is A Leisuresuit For Surviving The Future” Ben Hammersley of WiReD magazine Tweets his Deepest Thorts. The Ham is now advising the Foreign and Commonwealth Office: your taxes …

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peter 3

Oh come on, that was one of the funniest jokes I've ever read on el Reg.

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Anonymous Coward

Well...

My garden has its own microclimate.

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Anonymous Coward

Many a true word is spoken in jest

I quite like the Independent's angle, more Lesbians please. Well, bi the bi.

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Unhappy

Re: Lesbian IT angle

I sadly missed all the Lesbian stuff too (except the Playmobil "Secret Scandinavian Lesbian City"). Maybe it all happens in those newfangled moving 'Flash' thingies, which wont play on my computer because I'm too lazy to keep up with the changing "standards" on my ten year old Sun workstation (not a plug).

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RE: "an internet scandal-sheet" ...

El Reg, if you are pissing people off you are doing your job properly.

Keep it up.

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Paris Hilton

T'is true!

There's never any real News on news.bbc.co.ck, its always titbits guaranteed to get miffed of Tunbridge Wells irate!

I mentioned tits! no other reason!

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Anonymous Coward

Oh, what joy

>I loved seeing my name, face and the words British citizen on this tiny piece of plastic.

I've just checked my Spanish id card and it says Nacionalidad: REINO UNIDO, just like that, in bold block capitals so I can be doubly proud of it. Funnily enough it's also got my name and a picture of my face it on it, however it doesn't incite the same level of euphoria as this woman experienced but admittedly I'm not as pretty as she. God knows how she's going to react when she gets one that doesn't have "SPECIMEN" plastered across it.

Oh, and I can top her nationality, name and face, mines also got a thumbprint on the back.

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Anonymous Coward

@mines also got a thumbprint on the back.

Give it a clean and a good buff with a soft cloth. Works for my car windows.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

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Coat

El Reg reporters should watch Steve Martin's 'The Jerk'

“I genuinely felt proud and excited when I was finally handed my card. I loved seeing my name, face and the words British citizen on this tiny piece of plastic. That’s who I am, and why shouldn’t anyone know?”

If El Reg reporters had any decent sense of humor, they would have equated the 'eager beaver' reporter as portraying the same character Steve Martin plays in the movie 'The Jerk'. Ok so maybe its a 'classic' because it was probably filmed before the El Reg reporter was born and I'm showing my age... :-P

The point is that there's a scene where Steve Martin jumps around in Joy because '... the new phone books are here!, the new phone books are here! ...' (Yes, before there was the internet, people relied on either calling a live operator for directory assistance, or opening up an annual publication called 'a phone book'. The character was excited because his name was in print and he was now a 'somebody' and no longer a 'nobody'.

Sure El Reg can mock the joy some people take because they now have something that establishes themselves as a 'somebody' but please at least attribute this mockery back to the comedian who first pointed this out...

Yeah I know. Mine's the winter coat as I go out for my cup of coffee. :-P

(Now ducking out before the oil cans start springing leaks.)

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Happy

Re 'The Jerk'

I think this woman would be more aptly compared (by name) to Steve Martin's character's dog in the film.

Smile: Because I've seen it and I know what it's called.

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NRT
Happy

A 'phone book'?

Ha!

I can remember a time when it was called a 'Telephone Directory'

Now I'm showing my age.

Nick.

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Badgers

re: Alex Foti

Ouch, my brain just exploded.

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At last I've figured out...

...why there'll never be anything like Monty Python on the BBC again. It's damn' near impossible to parody most of the crap being emitted by big-time media figures these days.

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Paris Hilton

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Now that's the one we all wanted to read.

Paris, cos she must be frustrated too.

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Unhappy

Wasted Brain Cells

Please don't do this too me again. The quotes are funny, but you should have added a couple of words explaining who Nicky Haslam is. I didn't recognise the name, so looked him up. I now know that he is an ancient aristocratic ponce ... sorry, Ponsonby. I was so pissed off at this waste of my time that I will probably remember the name forever. One day I might even make myself look a right tart in a quiz - "Nicky Haslam? Oh yeah, he's an interior designer and his middle name is Ponsonby."

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Pint

Argh me too...

...but on the plus side I now have the benefit of knowing what he looks like, so if I ever spot him I can find out for myself if he really *does* have a face I'd never tire of punching.

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J 3
Happy

That Wikipedia guy...

At first read I thought he (?) was talking about Google, seriously!

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Phorm's knuckle dragging moments

>Well, what did we miss? Let us know.

What about Kent's priceless "[BT Webwise] will most definitely be online by the end of the year"... followed (shortly after a rights issue) by BT dumping them and Phorm claiming "It is not a great surprise to us, to be honest" and "we have never had a definitive date on a launch".

Or the cringe making moment Kent told the genius inventor of the web Sir TBL he was ignorant about the way the internet worked.

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Bronze badge

Wait a second...

...you mean that El Reg's spelling "furor" with an "e" is _correct_ in "The Queen's"?

Well, I'll be damned. And, here I thought it was a persistent typo. I only mention it because, as my fingers often outrun my brain as I type, I often accidentally add the "e" to "furor" (American spelling) and promptly delete it, as in American, there's no "e" in "furor".

You learn something new every day, I guess... but still, pronouncing it "furor-ay"? That's just silly. Sounds like the title of an old Italian pop song.

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WTF?

"my name, face and the words British citizen"

I've got a passport that says that.

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Troll

Personally, I can handle the gardens.

It is the PEOPLE with their own micro-climate that bother me!

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Anonymous Coward

Having seen the 'lovely' Mr Gerard many a time...

Both in person before he fortunately landed on your shores, and from photos sent to me by misbegotten souls under the misguided belief I'd find him other than uninteresting...

All I can say is "thank [diety of choice] the photo is cropped"

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WTF?

Angela Epstein

She seriously needs locking up, for her safety and our sanity!

I love watching X-FIles and Twilight Zone, but that sickening drivel in the Manchester Post was probably the scariest thing I have ever read.

Moonies brainwashing techniques are a alive and well and working out just fine for the UK Gov!

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Epstein

It's nice to see Angela Epstein's inane and idiotic ramblings recognised at last, the woman torments me every time I'm flipping through the MEN and see the headline on her column.

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Does any one else find it funny that.....

Andrew Orlowski posts an article commenting on what other people have said when 99% of the time we are not allowed to comment on his articles on el reg?

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Badgers

The reason why?

Yes - I found it hilarious.

Oh - hang on - no I didn't.

But now he has to moderate this comment too.

Happy New Year(c)(tm)(pat pending)

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Joke

RE photo of Angela Epstein

Image processed for facial recognition

Thank you citizen.

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Happy

Nathan Barley

He's well weapon.

Media bo^&$ks talked and practised.

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Some

"sole member of the YesToID" ... brilliant

and I pronouce it furor-ay since I did Latin at school

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Headmaster

Latin?

Maybe. Note though that English has two "n"s in "pronounce".

First rule of linguistic pedantry: The slightest imperfection in any pedantic post that contains even the merest hint of smugness is asking for it. With knobs on.

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Nicky Haslam

I am Scottish, you are a T$%T

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WTF?

Who?

The feck is he, and why the feck does anyone care what he hates?

An interior decorator? And his opinion rates higher than my sister's yappy little dustmop (AKA football) why?

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Grenade

What a lot of thepwners of those quotes really REALLY need...

...is a good hard kick in the crotch for inflicting their tortured use of the english language on the us and for thinking that we should give more than a gnat's bollock sweat drop about what they say.

Anyway, enough grumpiness.

Happy New Year everybody!

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Anonymous Coward

Puzzling...

The BBC called The Reg "an internet scandal-sheet". They say that like it's a bad thing.

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Paris Hilton

Well, what did we miss? Let us know.

Umm...how did you fail to include Eric Schmidts lovely little privacy quote?

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Headmaster

A Classic Fry...

Just for the sake of it, one from Qi - "If God WERE a woman, semen would taste of chocolate."

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And?

Never heard of David Gerard, but that description of the Reg is spot on.

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Welcome

Angela 'Memento' Epstein extoles

"when you’re the first member of the public to be issued with a brand spanking new national identity card, it’s a seminal moment."..

.. “I genuinely felt proud and excited when I was finally handed my card. I loved seeing my name, face and the words British citizen on this tiny piece of plastic. That’s who I am, and why shouldn’t anyone know?”

I wonder what the first recipient of a yellow star i Nazi Germany thought that meant to his sense of national identity.

I for one welcome our bewildered overlords.

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