Those of you feeling a bit cash-strapped following Xmas might find a solution in South Africa's traditional medicine, or muti, markets, where a particle of dried vulture brain could help you secure a vital cash injection. According to AFP, the brains are "rolled into a cigarette or inhaled as vapors", with remarkable results. …
It's tempting to laugh
But then you realise a lottery-winning spliff made from the finest dried vulture brains is probably about as sensible as using homeopathy - which is available through the NHS.
I'm deeply concerned...
"Vultures are scarce. I only have one every three or four months."
...what if they find out about vulture central? (Or maybe there's a good deal in it - you know, recession and stuff. Where were El Reg's offices again?)
"You see things that people can't see" and "...can detect any strange presence from kilometres away".
I remember having these abilities in my younger days after consuming industrial quantities of alcohol and the ingestion of certain substances. However I can assure everyone that no vultures were harmed in any way then. Nowadays I just rely on night-vision devices and motion-detectors which makes life a lot easier the day after.
What's the IT angle ?
Oh yeah... El Reg... vulture....sorry.
Quick! Think up something that Gulls and Pigeons can be sold for!
Then, with any luck, people will start killing the annoying vermin to sell to the stupid.
Oh, I'm sure it's a cure for financial woes...
...for the guy selling the vulture brains.
Can't be any worse than those stupid lotto number picking software claiming to pick the winning numbers
excellent vision that helps them fly out of nowhere to descend on carcasses
"excellent vision that helps them fly out of nowhere to descend on carcasses"
Why would I want to descend on carcasses is way beyond me... On the other hand, the lottery winning must be quite low to each person there, if a lot of people are doing this. Which kinda defeats the purpose after all, I suppose?
Anyway, ain't religion precious. It makes people believe and do the darndest things. So cute.
What have you been sm-
... oh, right, of course.
Nothing to see here, move along...!
Faaahsands of 'em.
That would be the same excellent vision that prevented the Vulture from getting trapped?
Anything for a buck in ZA.
A rare find
Maybe this would explain why the vultures are such a rare find.
In related news, all staff members of The Register are hereby and forthwith required to take a one-way business trip to South Africa. Never you mind what for.
I see dead Vultures...
Articles like this make me miss the 'dead vulture' icon ... which would be totally appropiate for this one.
Does wanting vulture brains make one a zombie? Coz zombies want braaaaains!
The article is focuses on the exclusive upmarket muti markets which cater for the tourist trade. In realty, Tesco Value Vulture costs a lot less than the homebrew stuff and is made from 100% organic, ethically poached vultures.
I am desperately asking your help. My aunt recently saw lotto numbers after smoking vulture brains. She won the lotto for a trillion rand but unfortuately...
@J 3 "Why descend on carcasses?"
> Why would I want to descend on carcasses is way beyond me..
To go through their pockets and look for loose change, of course.