back to article Fancy a lottery win? Smoke dried vulture brains

Those of you feeling a bit cash-strapped following Xmas might find a solution in South Africa's traditional medicine, or muti, markets, where a particle of dried vulture brain could help you secure a vital cash injection. According to AFP, the brains are "rolled into a cigarette or inhaled as vapors", with remarkable results. …

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It's tempting to laugh

But then you realise a lottery-winning spliff made from the finest dried vulture brains is probably about as sensible as using homeopathy - which is available through the NHS.

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I'm deeply concerned...

"Vultures are scarce. I only have one every three or four months."

...what if they find out about vulture central? (Or maybe there's a good deal in it - you know, recession and stuff. Where were El Reg's offices again?)

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Really?

"You see things that people can't see" and "...can detect any strange presence from kilometres away".

I remember having these abilities in my younger days after consuming industrial quantities of alcohol and the ingestion of certain substances. However I can assure everyone that no vultures were harmed in any way then. Nowadays I just rely on night-vision devices and motion-detectors which makes life a lot easier the day after.

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IT Angle

What's the IT angle ?

Oh yeah... El Reg... vulture....sorry.

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Quick! Think up something that Gulls and Pigeons can be sold for!

Then, with any luck, people will start killing the annoying vermin to sell to the stupid.

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Dead Vulture

Oh, I'm sure it's a cure for financial woes...

...for the guy selling the vulture brains.

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Why not?

Can't be any worse than those stupid lotto number picking software claiming to pick the winning numbers

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J 3
Joke

excellent vision that helps them fly out of nowhere to descend on carcasses

"excellent vision that helps them fly out of nowhere to descend on carcasses"

Why would I want to descend on carcasses is way beyond me... On the other hand, the lottery winning must be quite low to each person there, if a lot of people are doing this. Which kinda defeats the purpose after all, I suppose?

Anyway, ain't religion precious. It makes people believe and do the darndest things. So cute.

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WTF?

What have you been sm-

... oh, right, of course.

Nothing to see here, move along...!

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Vultures.

Faaahsands of 'em.

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excellent vision

That would be the same excellent vision that prevented the Vulture from getting trapped?

Anything for a buck in ZA.

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Stop

A rare find

Maybe this would explain why the vultures are such a rare find.

In related news, all staff members of The Register are hereby and forthwith required to take a one-way business trip to South Africa. Never you mind what for.

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Dead Vulture

I see dead Vultures...

Articles like this make me miss the 'dead vulture' icon ... which would be totally appropiate for this one.

Does wanting vulture brains make one a zombie? Coz zombies want braaaaains!

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Pint

Inaccurate ...

The article is focuses on the exclusive upmarket muti markets which cater for the tourist trade. In realty, Tesco Value Vulture costs a lot less than the homebrew stuff and is made from 100% organic, ethically poached vultures.

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Anonymous Coward

Hello sir!

I am desperately asking your help. My aunt recently saw lotto numbers after smoking vulture brains. She won the lotto for a trillion rand but unfortuately...

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Joke

@J 3 "Why descend on carcasses?"

> Why would I want to descend on carcasses is way beyond me..

>

To go through their pockets and look for loose change, of course.

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