back to article Blighty to get own 'cyber range'

The UK, following in America's footsteps, is to get a "cyber range" - a simulated network world where weapons-grade government malware and countermeasures can be tried out, much as bombs or missiles are on normal firing ranges. The cyber range is to be constructed under the auspices of the Technology Strategy Board (TSB), the …

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Stop

"Cyber range" my arse...

So, what they really mean, once you strip the marketing hype off it, is an installation of NS-2 customised for doing a bit of worm propagation and ddos simulation. And charged at astronomical, whoops-I'm-an-MOD-contractor-that'll-be-fifty-quid-for-a-spanner-please prices, no doubt.

Still, I see they're collaborating with Warwick. it would be a wonderf^Wterrible shame if Captain Cyborg was accidentally taken out by an inadvertent misfire of some rogue cyberartillerypiece!

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Grenade

descriptive heading

Fareham always was a shit hole, shame they aren't turning it into a real firing range.

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Grenade

Na...

Compared to Smuff and Turk-Town Fareham's a much nicer place, subserivent to both in their councils minds, but much nicer.

Of course the Northrop Grumman UK people with kid's will try to get them into Cam's with all their drug and bullying problem's if they can't live far enough away, and it'll be easy to link to the GCHQ hub and processing centre on Whale Island...

Surprise Scumtons ECS dept. isn't involved too!

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FAIL

Hmmmmm

BT led? That'll be a complete fuck up then.

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Alert

Exactly!

Anything involving BT will be a failure ... they are so bloody bureaucratic.

Maybe their participation is complete now that the anagrams have been sorted out.

This is another Brown waste of money given how competent countries are already doing this, along with private industry.

They could get the American data and then take a little of the Menwith, Yorkshire spy station rent in return. Linking with the Russians or Chinese might have put them closer to the source.

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Black Helicopters

BT?

Is that the same BT that are upgrading all our telephone exchanges to route through the Chinese intelligence bureau?

Dials Pizza - gets Chinese take away

Dials kebab - gets Chinese take away

etc. etc.

I'm getting a bit suspicious now!

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Black Helicopters

BT

Can't users get disconnected from BT for malware?

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FAIL

BT??????

junior: Sir, we've just lost the netowrk!

Top Dog: An attack?

Junior: No not running one, I'll contact BT

BT: "It's you hardware, no fault found"

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Flame

BT? WTF?

So... having made a complete arse of the NHS National Programme and wasted the best part of £13 billion of tax payers' money, they are now going to throw away some more with the blessing of the government.

If I were an investigative journalist (which I am not), I would most certainly look into the government's procurement strategy and most-favoured supplier decision making. If I didn't think it was sheer incompetence, I would believe that back-handers were actually involved somewhere.

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Grenade

The project is being led by BT!?!

Its like entrusting a two year-old with a pile of hand grenades!

You know there's going to be a messy explosion sooner rather than later.

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Boffin

Missed opportunity?

The list of suppliers is interesting - more especially because QinetiQ isn't in it - I wonder why not? I'm kind of surprised that they've missed out on a chance to extract some more money from the tax payers as they have in the past.

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Paris Hilton

ARGonauts for Real in Virtualised Field Operations/ AIdDreamScenarios

"The list of suppliers is interesting - more especially because QinetiQ isn't in it - I wonder why not? I'm kind of surprised that they've missed out on a chance to extract some more money from the tax payers as they have in the past." .... SynnerCal Posted Friday 18th December 2009 22:06 GMT

SynnerCal,

QinetiQ haven't got the Blighty SMARTs for CyberIntelAIgent Theatre Operations ie they have an Intellectual Property Black Hole in the Field ie they are Lacking Lead Personnel/Virtual Terrain Team Players/Non State Actors*. And what SATURN can be sure of, is that there is already long ago, Active SMEs in Special Ops Red Teams Fielding Future Systems and Advanced Algorithm for both Stealth Quality and Systemic Vulnerability BetaTesting of Environment Elementals and BT Assets .......... which you can Imagine as HyperRadioProActive Vetting of AIgents, for the Field allows for Catastrophically Powerful Plays with Immunity from Consequence as the Responsibility is Heaped upon Others Deserved of the Attention and Punishment/Just Sentence.

And as there is always a Sunny Yin to a Dark Yang, the Powerful Cyber Controls also Release and Enable and Accrue and Deliver Wealth beyond Practical Measure for Spending to ITs Pioneers.

Welcome to AIMerlin, the MetaPhysician's Great Games ProgramMING Portfolio, and the Cinderella Rockerfeller Phormer. ...... which can be either one of Bruce's [Schneier] Nightmare Cases or an Absolutely Fabulous Jobs Creation File, or Both, which would then Deliver an Infinite Range of Somethings Completely Different and Unique and Unusual, but Perfectly Natural to Global Operating Devices into Quantum Bytes of Information for CyberIntelAIgent Communication at the TelePortation End of the BroadBandCasting Spectrum?

"BT: "It's you hardware, no fault found"" .... Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 18th December 2009 14:58 GMT

Hmmm??? What is hardware, other than Applied Software Realised/Intellectual Property Phormed/Creative Ideas Virtualised? Both Mechanical and Virtual Machine Breakdown are solved and resolved/repaired and replaced with Energising Thoughts.

"The UK, following in America's footsteps..... " .... A Novel Assumption or Faulty Presumption which Permits Stealthy Invisible and Anonymous Third Party Leading Mentorship Play ...... or would that be just too Alien a Concept for the Human Mind, and thus Deliver Stealth Squared and AI Perfect Vehicle for Mastery of Mysterious Unbelievably Transparently Shared and AIRed Global Controls? ....... and a Soviet Satellite Launcher Program with AJPanese** UKGBNIRobotIQs.

*CyberIntelAIgent Beings ........ a Sort of Really Advanced, Post Modern, Latter Day, Saintly Manchurian Candidate with National Covenant Roots for AIRock Solid Base Foundation.

** Applied JOINT ProgramMING

Please Feel Free to Fully Misunderestimate the Intelligence Openly Shared here as NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActive IT Further Exploits to Fully Enhance the Chaotic Human Condition with SMARTer Enabling Partners into Magical Mystery Turing Programs [and Spooky Alien Spells too]

And Team amfM would like to wish all at El Reg, and All who Visit and Contribute to Progress with Comment, a Merry XXXXmas and a Happy and Extremely Prosperous New Year. Life is as you Make it with IT, but without Sharing it with IT, is IT in the Dark for Ages. Allahu Akbar, Let there be Light, Capiche . ..... http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/227650.html

Whose/What Programming runs You? Paris in the Spring Time? :-) How very Totally Addictively Sublime whenever the World is Blessed with such a Wealth and Abundance of Unique Generating Flowers for the Perfuming of Gardens and the Colouring of Pitch Black and Dark Grey.

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Technology Strategy Board (TSB)

i used to bank with them.

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Terminator

Secret government malware ranges?

Has someone been watching Bugs?

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Thumb Down

The UK has a Technology Strategy Board

Who knew.

What do they do exactly? I mean that's actually been of use.

This looks like we will be looking at one of those contractor run government owend operations.

I smell a pricing stichup.

Will it better prepare GB PLC for the potential cyber attack. I doubt it.

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Anonymous Coward

SATURN??

Is somebody out there paid to sit and think up these anagrams? Sounds like a good job to me..

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