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back to article Swedish lactating bloke's dream turns sour

The Swedish dad who's spent the last few months attempting to squeeze milk from his breasts has thrown in the towel, with nothing more than "sore breasts" to show for his efforts. Student Ragnar Bengtsson, 26, said that male lactation "could prove very important for men's ability to get much closer to their children at an early …

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¹

What a tit.

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Paris Hilton

Harrrumph! These people who post first!

I wanted that line!

Paris well she has a couple, allegedly

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WTF?

Whut?

"male lactation could prove very important for men's ability to get much closer to their children at an early stage"

There are times when I think I can understand the Taliban. My wife and me have clearly defined roles... she doesn't try to hunt mammoths, I don't try to breast-feed the baby.

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IT Angle

Hormones

Male to female transsexuals taking female hormones can grow boobs, and are known to lactate, I've seen it in a...I mean, so I hear. No idea if it would ever go far enough to keep a baby fed.

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WTF?

The romans!

...ok, so we can agree that he can't actually have babies on account of not having a womb, which is nobody's fault - not even the Romans.

But we can fight for his RIGHT to have babies!

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Won't someone think of the children?

Seriously - Mummy is for breastfeeding, Daddy is for more fun stuff (being tossed in the air, climbing onto his head, throwing food at, etc...).

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FAIL

What a doofus!

All that time "pumping his moobs" when he could have just taken a course of oxytocin and been away.

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Coat

Interesting, but...

Interesting article...but, where's the TIT angle?

Mine's the one with the milk stains.

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Troll

Ouch!

ow..oW..OW....OUCH!! My eyes are watering already!

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Silver badge

Nature 1 - Idiots 0

Our sex clearly defines our abilities as far as child-rearing functions are concerned. Women bear children and feed them, men spread their DNA and provide for their offspring.

Period.

Any reference to drug-induced man boobs is naught without proper referencing and links to prove it, so I'm sorry Tony72, but your post is not valid, funny though it may be.

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Anonymous Coward

(untitled)

Well: so long as he enjoyed himself.

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Pint

Wrong Approach

as tony 72 said, where's the hormones?

simply pumping at them will not produce results, but male and female mammals are both endowed with the proper hardware for lactation, all that's need is the proper software (eg. hormones.)

beer because the HOPS in beer mimics estrogen and builds moobs.

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Bronze badge

@pascal

Estrogen is produced produced when testosterone breaks down; hence the impressive bust-lines one used to see among steroid users in the NFL. (At least, the chemistry is correct, and the shapes were there.) I don't think any sportswriters were rash enough to ask 300+ pound, roid-raging linemen about lactation, though.

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gfs

Blinding

What an excellent turn of phrase:

Magnus Talib, "a lot of people were almost blinded with disgust"

Disgust induced myopia, fabulous!

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Paris Hilton

Why

Do men have nipples?

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Stephen Jay Gould

The late Stephen Jay Gould wrote an excellent mini-essay on the subject of useless physical phenmonena, namely nipples on men and the orgasm in women. It all boils down to embryology, apparently. But the best part was the title: "Male Nipples and Clitoral Ripples", which Stephen's wife came up with after the publisher balked at Stephen's first title "Tits and Clits"

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Silver badge

@AC 17:06 re. Why

Just in case they want to become women later on.

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Re: why nipples

Human embryos are sex-undifferentiated from a physical structure standpoint for several months during development, but the nipple structure is present early on. Just as the genitals are analogous between the sexes (with different parts more or less developed and in different ways), so too breast development differentiates later through hormone production. In other words we all get everything to make either male or female bodies, and which side gets activated by hormones is determined by chemicals. More efficient to standardize the chassis and determine configuration by setting different switches, I guess.

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Black Helicopters

re: Why

For attaching the electrodes during a "special interrogation" session, obviously!

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Because

Because we men are actually women with a chromosome disorder.

Think about it.

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Happy

Wouldn't it have been easier to

have just bottle fed - lots of women turn to it when their nipples get sore, or does he have a thing about mashing his nipples and needed to find a reason to do it?

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Think I found the guy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysGzJfPIxNY

its just wrong.....

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Linux

No moob synthesis then?

Not the only man to have trouble expressing himself...

Tux, 'cos daddy penguins know fish works better.

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Go

Nobody told him about prolactin?

He's probably to much of a hippy-douche to "use chemicals", so never mind.

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WTF?

No one told him?

No one told him that along with stimulation it was necesary a hormonal treatment for that to work?

Or hi is just nutty?

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FAIL

fail to do research

Step one: Realise that manual stimulation will do nothing much, as it'll be little more than what (non steroidal) bodybuilders and/or marathon runners undergo. And they're lactating, like, all the time. Not.

Step two: Realise hormones of some kind will be necessary, and this WILL result in near-irreversible (without moob-reduction surgery) growth. There are many paths available, from pills to herbs to beer to topical creams (that hopefully avoid some of the systemic effects that the others would have).

Step three: Realise some other guy has already beaten you to the punch using step two. I'm dead certain on having at least read in a book of oddities about an american who wished to breastfeed his child after his wife died giving birth, so hit up a drastic course of hormones and was fully enmoobed by the end of the year (though that was probably just in time for baby to get teeth and start weaning... not to mention the problem of undersized nippleage). However when I try googling for such an account all I get is this article's titular herbert.

There was another who did it for a bet - and won it, but liked the swollen chesticles so much that he kept them - but I can't be certain that wasn't just implants rather than the fully functional real deal.

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Joke

You could say

his plan went tits up.

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