So,
the fan hits the shit.
Serial slurry fetish man jailed again
A middle-aged man with a sexual fetish for farm waste was sent to prison after a breaching a restraining order that banned him from being around a farm he has terrorised for years. David Truscott, 40, was arrested after he broke into a farm he targeted, and covering himself in slurry, before masturbating, The Telegraph reports. …
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Shite Story
C'mon El Reg. We know you like to cover the shite stories but might this be going a bit far even for you?
Be careful what you wish for.
He should be ecstatic now, he's deeper in the shit than he's ever been.
Correction:
The farm is NEAR Camborne, not called Camborne.
Anyway, nice to know that Careless-In-The-Community is still alive and kicking in my part of the World. Given his low intelligence, paired with his tendency to start fires whenever he can't find manure to play with, would it not be sensible to keep him somewhere secure, like, ooooh I don't know, a mental hospital? Oh no, sorry. We can't lock people up for their own safety or for the safety of other people - it would be against his human rights.
What a country we live in...
Re: correction
Might be sensible, but there aren't enough mental hospitals to go round, since they've all been closed and pimped off to developers by 'joined up' New Labour councils and turned into luxury one bedroom flats in a country that has a bit of an excess of one bedroom flats. So instead we have care on the cheap (sorry Care in The Community).
And yes, what a country we live in...
Stupid criminal justice system we have
If a 16 week sentence didn't stop him re-offending, why do they think a 20 week sentence will do the trick?
Same goes for those chavs nicking cars, they give them a driving ban and when they are caught driving during their ban, they extend the ban. er hello?
It's all good
So he went from hot shit to deep shit. Sounds like he can't go wrong.
Offence
The image this article creates in my mind is probably an offence under the "Cartoon Smut Law" - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/11/29/olympic_logo_lisa_simpson/
Hand yourselves in now ... and no Playmobil re-enactments !
Obviously a public school old-boy
We never had slurry-fetish at our government school!
Rustic Sheriff's Badge
If he was allowed to continue his 'comings in the goings', then perhaps a dose of E.coli O157:H7 will help change his mind. A few weeks slopping out in jail will do little to dampen his ardour.
Sounds like a smear campaign TBH.
Wrong!!
Surely this man should be in a padded cell, not a prison cell.
(Green Barbour jacket with matching wellies and cloth cap)
Well...
Perhaps someone should tell him that fertiliser only makes plants grow, and no amount of masturbating in it is going to make THAT bulb grow!
If he ever tries going into the slurry tank
Kindof surprised he's survived as going by lots of previous stories of people falling into slurry tanks, they are usually said to become overcome by fumes and it's quicksand like properties. I'm guessing the same fumes would be present around the opening to the tank too, especially if covering yourself in it.
Suspect eventually he'll end up as a Darwin award if sexual gratification qualifies for such, but in the meantime perhaps sectioning the bloke would be a good idea? Especially if he's also likely to commit arson too (not sure if that's related).
Slurry Pride March
In 20 years time, we will see tax-payer sponsored Slurry Pride marches in our cities instead of this persecution by intolerant bigots.
Up the Slurry Priders
It is quite possible as something similar has occured in the not so distant past.
Poor policemen
I can't work out how are they going to prove his seminal event - finding 2cc worth of DNA in an entire VAT full of slurry? I think only the claim of trespassing will, errm, stand up..
On the plus side, no sniffer dog is ever going to lose him if he escapes..
I'm always in the shit...
but thats metaphorical and almost always usually tech probs. Unlike this guy? Takes all sorts I guess? I mean, WTF?
Solution
Why doesn't someone just give the poor man the phone number for an agricultural supplier? Then he can have his slurry good time (sorry) in the privacy of his own home...
(I'm assuming he doesn't have any family. Seems safe enough.)
Paris - she seems to cover herself in slurry in public on a regular basis...
Fnarr Fnarr
Perhaps he should be 'interred' for his own protection - geddit?
I work with people like him!
Sometimes Right Guard just don't cut it
OOhhhhhhhhh.......AAAARRRRR.........
or should that be
EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW.......... AAAAAAARRRRRRR..!
someones obviously forgotten to keep up with the medication......
That or the care in the community (slurry pit) is taken to new lows.
how did the boys in blue (now brown) take it ;p
was he hosed down in the cell at the station ? or did they do him in the yard, oooo-arrrr ;p
more police brutality maybe, though just depends on his taste in S&M.
taking extreme fetish/perversions to ever lower depths.....
Is this the Sun or some other shite paper
Little IT news today eh?
Gross dude
Gross dude, gross.
I punch the gas if I'm within like half a mile of one of those shit-tanks, which since I live in Iowa happens rather a lot. I'd hate to be one of the police that had to pick this guy up. Or the people in the jail with him, indeed in the same building. I also hope the cop car hoses out.
This guy
should never have been voted in.
Won't somebody think of the children?
ick
The guy doesn't need jail, he needs a psychiatric institution. Pity Thatcher closed them all down and allowed the inmates to join political parties as part of her "care in the community" programme. Pity that Labour hasn't started them up again, which is understandable since half of them would be put there the next day.
Lucky he's still alive
Many farmers/farm workers are killed every year when they accidentally fall into a slurry tank and are quickly overcome by the fumes (lots of methane). Jumping into a tank voluntarily should really be considered a suicide attempt allowing the authorities to lock him up for his own safety.
Needs help
Jail wont solve this, and as I live in Camborne (on a farm no less, no cows though) I have an interst here. Why the hell do they think Jail will help this person or prvent him reoffending? He needs to be sectioned, its not Just "harmless tugging off", its the Arson you see in thw other reports.
How many people need to be killed by people with mental health issues, until we realise that "weekly chats" dont work for everyone.
insert poop joke here
I suppose this brings a whole new meaning to the word "scat"
do you think...
...that if he does the "good behaviour" thing in prison, they'll let him slop out?
Oh No, I live near that farm
We live on a neighbouring farm, a bit too close for comfort!
Must be wierd having a slurry fettish?
I'd rather cover myself with Paris!!!
Negotiate a business opportunity
Send the slurry round to him - dial a pile service
Nice...
...to know that my number 2 activity is his number 1 activity!
Some awesome comments on this story - "Dial a pile?" Honestly, I ask you!!
RE:RE: correction
The ( dont) care in the community was originally a Tory policy Nu labour just ran with it. Closing the mental hopsitals, likewise. They were turning all these imposing ex country mansions into mostly country clubs starting the late 80's.
Never ever trust a politician!!!
Solution
Next time he does that, why doesn't someone just close and lock the lid on the tank with him in it? At least he'll go happy.
Random Jokes
I bet he was in a "slurry" to get out of there when the rozza's turned up
When approached, did he curl up in the fecal position?
You tarzan .. me thane
Gordon brown talks so much shyte I am sure this guy would like to be his number 2
Did they search his "hot pockets" ?
Do you think he is a police informer? He's got Grass all over him.
In his cell he will be chewing the cudd.
Do you think the government will tax him for Climate change offences?
This guys is clearly round the "U" bend
etc..etc.. Could go on, but I wont inflict anymore on you.
Prints
Living in the locality to the farm, it was quite funny to hear, but not for the land owner, that a water trough was filled with manure. The farmer found both buttock and hand prints as well as numerous discarded tissues.
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