Sh*t the bed, it's Comment of the Week
It's Friday, and across the internet is heard the thin cry from a thousand (OK, maybe a couple of hundred) hapless souls forced against their will to read Comment of the Week. O cruel fate! If only they were given choice as to what to click on. Well, too late now, bozos. It'll look like you've read it in the stats even if you …
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1
Oh, The Intergalactic Laxative will get you from here to Mars...
@Major N re. 1
That would be an interplanetary laxative actually. It is against Federation laws to use intergalactic laxatives within two light years of a planetary system.
Me
I think I deserve some cowballs because I think you're as cute as a button?
Pretty please? :p
Problemette
I would make a case for someone's particular comment, except that it appears that by allowing us plebs to reply to other comments, it is no longer possible (presumably to save screen space/repetition) to copy text from a comment? Admittedly, the crap ancient desktop build in this workplace means I'm still on IE6, but still....
Wichita Lineboffin
I am a boffin for the agency
And I drive the oscilloscope
Lookin' in the lab for another infeasible artificial intelligence related breakthrough
With my skills in advanced robotics
I could work for Cyberdyne
But the Wichita Lineboffin
Still evaluates the spline
I know I've tried extensive weather control
And it don't look like rain
But if I can focus this microwave weaponry
You won't ever stand the pain
And I need a shark with a frickin laser beam attached to its head more than want it
And I want it to be capable of hovering in mid-air for extended periods whilst still maintaining its stealth capabilities
But the Wichita Lineboffin
Still evaluates the spline
Huh?
Unless I've missed something, how is CoTFW Comment of The Week? Surely COTW or CoTW. AC in case I'm being very very silly.
"Like raaain on your wedding day"
Yes, WTF does that F in CoTFW mean?
Tyrun - (Back) into the Valley
We were amused by this late contender:
"I also remember crying at my computer to myself after hours of typing a certain program and nothing happening.
At least I don't do that at work [when] my code fails, I leave the room first."
Remember Compute Magazine?
My first box was a Commodore 64. There was this magazine called Compute - they had a Commodore version that came with programming listings in not only BASIC but machine code - you could type in pages upon pages of hex codes on the gawdawful C64 keyboard. Only to have it often fail. The tears would be a combo of the failure of said application to run as well as pain lingering in my once-functional fingers.
Danm, though, I miss those days... (except for "EasyScript", which was anything but)
There's something so very wrong
about having a comments section regarding an article that is a comment on the comments sections of other articles...
CoTFW
That 'F' doesn't appear to correspond to anything in the phrase "Comment of The Week". I think I see what you did there.
@Daniel
I don't think the "You're cute, do you come here often?" line is going to work on The Moderatrix.
Try more grovelling, pleading and begging; scatter with profuse apologies, the words "Maam" and "Mistress", and you might just get away with some red marks across your behind.
On the cosmic highway to the moon
We're on the cosmic highway to the moon
The bays are loaded and the engine's well in tune
Dad says at this rate
We should get there half past June
The earth is rather dreary
Since we singed the sky
On the cosmic highway to the moon
Cowballs?
I've yet to find any cows with balls. Bulls, yes, but no cows.
Hmm, I don't really think this item is working out
although I'll happily dish out the bonus points for "shit the bed", not least because it will piss off that American dude with the ultra-virtuous daughters who, one presumes, are properly toilet-trained. Unlike their father.
here's a start on witchita lineman
I am a router for level 3
And I ride the back bone
Now I got peers down all my pipes I'll never stand alone
I get pounded by bit torrents
And botnets phishing with my lines
I'm a level three router
your packets are mine
... or something :)
It seems to me ...
It seems to me that the comment of the week has been demoted to comment of the fortnight ... Or maybe I managed to miss last week's epistle (or clean forgot about it). Somehow I can't be arsed to go back and look.
Uh- - vanity or what?
Mine own CoTW were the one about "aspirantly, aspiring aspirants" or something like that
(Shhh ... reasoning :-) )
Yawn
If "Comment of the week" is "you have to work the first week in hand" - a joke that certainly long predates this organ, and possibly the entire history of the written word - then I have to wonder about the quality of the other comments last week.
Perhaps The Register might consider appointing a more mature person to the role of moderator for this column - someone over 18 years of age would be good - if, in fact, you have any staff that match that qualification.
Re: Sh*t the bed, it's Comment of the Week
It's true I only just turned 17. Forgive me.
5+7+5 = 17
***"I shall be dealing with all the numpties in that thread who can't cope with the 5-7-5 format in due course."***
"It's true I only just turned 17. Forgive me."
Ms Moderatrix
Irony is your forte
We l'haiku so much
Thank you, thank you *bows*
I am a he, yes.
I shall be magnanimous in my complete, utter, and thoroughly-deserved victory though. Here's your cowballs Daniel:
http://msp91.photobucket.com/albums/k298/djnth/JillBalls.jpg
Addendum
@Hardcastle and any future pedants: You and I both know that cows don't have balls. Nevertheless, that's what comes up on Google Image Search for 'cowballs'. So either
1) They're American
or
2) The photographer doesn't like Jill very much.
You have to take it a you find it on the internet. Heifer loaf is better than none.
TFTFY
There was young man came from Dell
A computer he wanted to sell
Made in Poland, said he
and there's just a small fee
And you get Windows 7 as well.
@AC 00:10
"Commenty votey things, where did they come from?"
Nobody knows ... It's probably best not to ask.
Methinks that manglement at ElReg is in need of reconfiguring ...
@AC
I wouldn't worry about them; with the implementation pushing you to a different screen with no clearly marked way back (especially if you logged in on the screen immediately before), nobody much is going to use them.
@Balls!
it is not the wining that counts, it is the taking part.
I would like to take this opportunity to say, this particular week has seem some marvellous entries, some stonking corkers, and there was certainly stiff competition all round.
So, Winkypop (if that is your real name), seek solace in that as the world spins another 7 times, so will your opportunity to claim the crown and scepter for, Comment of the Frigging Week.
Infamy at last
I'm not poet.
And I know it.
***"I shall be dealing with all the numpties in that thread who can't cope with the 5-7-5 format in due course."***
Excellent. Always willing to learn. I'll let you know when Mrs Cowherd is out feeding the chickens.....
Better than everything else
Is the admission by the Moderatrix that she has a pain chamber.
@GrahamT
"Ms Moderatrix"
5, and a good start!
"Irony is your forte"
That is only 6 ... Instead, try "Irony is your forte, eh?"
"We l'haiku so much"
Contrived, 'orribly, 'orribly contrived. But this member of the Peanut Gallery approves :-)
eye ron ee is your for tey = 7 syllables
forte is two syllables, but I couldn't find the acute accent.
As long as Ms Bee doesn't demand sonnets or alexandrines, I think I can cope.
eye ron ee is your fort = 6 syllables.
"Forte" is pronounced "fort". Take a fencing class.
@GrahamT
> I couldn't find the acute accent.
I found it for you: é
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