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back to article iFarter begs Apple for rational App Store

First Apple came for the fart apps, and I did not speak out because I was not an insufferable twat. Then Apple came for the Nancy Pelosi Bobblehead app, and I did not speak out — because seriously, a bobblehead app? Are you kidding me? Then Apple came for the "ka-ching" button app — and, hmmm...there probably is in fact …

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Jobs Horns

This is what puts me off the iPhone

that and I don't spend much money on my pay as you go phone at the moment so it's not worth the price.

I can see why they would not allow apps which infringe copyright or are racist or stuff like that but not allowing an app becasue it's not particularly usefull? Shirley that's something the end user should decide not Apple. If I want my phone/computer/toaster to make fart noises why the hell not??

There isn't an app for that!

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Badgers

Transparent Aproval Process

How hard can it be to understand the App Store approval process? It works like this:

1. Develop app

2. Submit app

3. App gets rejected

4. Use the blogosphere to raise a stink

5. App gets approved

So Joel Comm is obviously on the right track. Two pints on says the "ka-ching" button app gets approved before Christmas.

I sincerely apologise for using the b-word. But for once it actually felt justified.

Creds to Steve Frank for the insight in the process.

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limited utility

If that's a disqualifying factor then why are there any games at all on the App Store?

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Silver badge

Indeed

Wasn't there an app a while back that did absolutely nothing, but nevertheless cost at least a thousand dollars. If limited utility is a disqualifying factor then how does an app with expressly no function get through the net?

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Jobs Horns

crapple

They worked hard for that name.

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Jobs Horns

Pointless

It's no good appealing to the overlord Jobs - He hates 3rd party developers

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Jobs Horns

Bag o' shite

Apple is perhaps, belatedly, attempting to keep the iPhone as a premium product and not have it associated with shite (horse / bolt / stable door). That may be acceptable, but they need simply to say that.

What confuses me about many applications (including ones on Android and - probably - Windows Mobile), is that many of them charge for information that is presented at least as well if not better through a browser. Just add a bookmark, people!

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Anonymous Coward

*sighs*

really? Who cares. It's already past the stage where the app store approval process is well known for being whimsical at best, crazy at worst.

Mr Smug McSlimey in the video, quit developing for the app store, take your shovelware to other platforms, I mean expand the market for your digital amusements

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OK, he's an idiot - but he's got a point

OK, I am somewhat amazed he's talking about pouring "time and money" into building "the ka-ching button", seriously? And it's hard to think of something more pointless, and less necessary to the iPhone's app-ecosystem. But (and it pains me to admit this) he does have a point.

So Apple, yes, you've made an insanely popular device (some might even say "great") and the app store is a wonder of modern computing (one of those things that now it exists we all wonder: "why didn't anyone think of this before?!"). But the approval process for new apps is a dark and mysterious thing. Some light on the situation would be good for developers, and without them the app store doesn't work.

But there has to be a damn compelling reason why Apple should be able to reject all these stupid "button apps" or at least condemn them to a dank corner of the store rather than cluttering up useful positions. Maybe under a section titled: "pointless, annoying, apps we couldn't find a proper reason for rejecting".

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Jobs Horns

Apple antitrust

Sooner or later (you can probably set a stopwatch going), Apple is going to be hit with a massive antitrust suit, by playing the ringfencing game.

The limit I'd expect that is acceptable in law is Mac OS X's locking to Apple hardware - beyond that, the development of a platform and allowing 3rd party applications means by it's very nature that Apple can't and shouldn't be able to control what goes on it.

At the end of the day, with the iPhone OS 3.0 supporting age restrictions and parental controls (something Apple needs to beef up a bit on the Apple ID, ie having a more stringent age verification, possibly using credit card data to do so), so that underage users cannot get access to adult-rated software. Then all Apple needs to do is simply force all apps to be rated by the ESRB in the US and institutions like the BBFC here, in precisely the same vein as games go through.

That is all Apple needs to do, and if it resists, it should be forced to.

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FAIL

Press the Faaaaaaaaaiiiil Button

There are so many potential sound effects that might be nice to have under a button that I'm sure Apple is inundated with similar apps. As long as the limited functionality is made clear to the buyer then the app should be approved and Apple should step back and allow the buyer to decide if it's worth the money.

However, any decent app of this type should offer multiple button images and sounds that can be quickly selected to suit each occasion - perhaps linked to the ring tone library.

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I have my own

I have my own built-in iFart app, I was born with it. If they could buid an iSBD app that could empty a room at 50 paces then I'd buy one

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What is required is...

...less talk about the rubbish apps that get rejected, and more talk about the rubbish apps that get accepted.

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Jobs Halo

Sing Hallelujah

Steve ('cos Steve approves or disapproves every app) okayed the Hallelujah app because it reminds him of the sound when he enters a room.

To all the fanboys (of all persuasions), I've not used the joke icon because the 'Halo Steve' one was too good to pass up. But it is a joke. You can stop frothing at the mouth now...

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Grenade

How's he going to raise a stink?

It's a virtual phart, a'int it?

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Happy

An almost, kind of, ish, pro Apple comment...

I'm sure I'll get shot down here for daring to post a comment that's kind of on the defense for Apple, but I have to say something...

If there was as much press coverage given to all of the fantastic, great quality, applications that are available on the App Store that there is given to the subject of fart apps and the relatively small number of developers that complain (there are thousands of developers, *thousands*, how many of those openly complain about the process? It's a very small percentage) then many more people would be downloading those great apps, and maybe gloss straight past all the time wasting junk that they sit beside. Over time, those developers that put in time and effort to their apps would get the recognition that they deserve and see the potential for creating more great application.

Then maybe, over time, maybe downloads of the tosh would subside and maybe less would get developed... Maybe...

Perhaps...

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Thumb Down

iDon't care

Nuff said.

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Bronze badge

Competition

On [The Daily Show] I saw a feature about competing fart applications for iPhone... oh, you got that. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/02/17/ifart_versus_pull_my_finger/

What was the outcome? Let me guess, we all lost interest?

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