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'Alien spies live among us' says Bulgarian gov space boffin

A boffin at the Bulgarian national Space Research Institute has stated that not only are aliens living among us, but that they object strongly to "immoral behaviour" by humanity - such as causing global warming. "Unnatural" acts such as use of cosmetics and "artificial insemination" are also frowned upon by the extraterrestrial …

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Shinobi87
Alien

can i just say

WTF.

I WANT TO BELIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anonymous John
Welcome

Can I be the first

to welcome our new telepathic crop-circle making overlords? I don't want to be experimented on.

Paul_Murphy

Gang probing is Ok as long as your name is Flanders.

Nice to see that some foreigners can be eccentric then, I was beginning to worry that it was a Labour spokesperson.

So why are crop circles the method of choice for intra-species communication? what's wrong with a piece of paper, or maybe an etch-a-sketch?

And if they were that annoyed by our behaviour then how come we are still alive (or they are still here)? Oh wait is it like one of those religion-things where people are supposed to believe what you say without asking awkward questions?

They don't make aliens the way they used to.

ttfn

Anonymous Coward
Joke

Another film in the making?

The guy doesn't happen to resemble Sasha Baron-Cohen, by any chance?

HFoster

Oh boy...

Resignation/dismissal/retraction in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Then again, Bulgaria is hardly considered a premier spacefaring nation.

Anonymous Coward
Happy

Watch much TV recently??

Methinks V (2009) has just aired in his neck of the woods.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Bet these visitors don't have a valid visa

Who are they to tell us how to destroy our planet? We can do that very well ourselves, thank you very much. Human science sneers at alien crop circle communications.

Now there's an obscure reference for you to figure out. On an unrelated note, do they have fingerprints and dna like we do? How would they show up on the database then?

Sillyfellow
Joke
Reply Icon

maybe some do.

hehe. funny.

if an advanced race came here from another star system or dimension, it's plausible that for them, creating fake documents and infiltrating the computer systems would be a doddle. so maybe some would have a valid visa or any documents they desire for that matter.

or, maybe they wouldn't need a visa, you know, if they had invisibility cloaks or were master hypnotists "you can't seeeee meeee, i am nooooottttt here". hehe.

David Mullen
Thumb Up
Reply Icon

Seen this idea some where else?

Surely it is easier for said aliens to diguise themselves as or in machines.

Alan B
Thumb Up

Oh yes...

...I remember seeing that movie as well.

Code Monkey

Someone's been working too hard

Are we witnessing an Alan Partridge scale breakdown here?

Danny 2

Cut 'em Up

Since the Bulgarian Georgi Ivanov was in space 12 years before Britains Helen Sharman maybe we shouldn't mock. The Britons who have confessed to making crop-circles should be dissected immediately as a precautionary measure. At best, we will find alien intelliegence, and at worst we will lose a few clowns like Doug Bower and Dave Chorley.

Elmer Phud
Alien

Typo?

"Luchezar Filipov, deputy head of the space institute "

Spaced-out Institute?

shirley

Pete 43
Alien

Wait a sec

Bulgaria has a space agency?

Anton Ivanov
Flame
Reply Icon

It does funnily enough. More than Britain in fact

Britain has only one native astronaut - Helen Sharman, rest were naturalised into yankhood before going into space. Bulgaria has funnily enough two. I know one of them personally from the days I used to live in Moscow and have met the other one a couple of times.

As far as Mr Philipov is concerned, well... Every country has its "special" people. By all accounts - he is mostly harmless.

gifham
Reply Icon

clarification

It is not a Spaces Agency, it has been translated wrong from Bulgarian.

It is called Bulgarian Academy of Science.

they are working in many fields.

loopy lou
Reply Icon

fileds?

Corn fields for the most part. Or maybe some rye with ergot?

Andus McCoatover
Alien

Odd website name.

novinite.com seems to be an anagram for "no invite.com"

I.e., the aliens aint wanted. Now sod off, and take your crop circles with you.

Is someone pulling someone's plonker here?

Doug Glass
Go

Yeah, Right

And Al Gore is one of them.

Nick G
Welcome

I wondered

what David Icke had been up to.

Anyway, I for one etc...

Sillyfellow
Welcome

outside perspective

crop circles are still a mystery to me, but regardless of who made them and what they mean, they sure are absolutely beautiful to look at. surley that has enough value in itself?

anyhows, try to imagine what a visiting advanced species would think when they see all the crazy shit going on in this world. especially considering how clever and 'civilized' we're supposed to be.

PS. really like the new comments layout. nice work el reg.

:?)

Steve X
Coat

I'll bet

The aliens are secretly running CERN as well, in the hope that they can create a black hole rift in spacetime & get home sooner. I've certainly had business trips that made me feel like that.

Ian Ferguson
Thumb Up

Oh this is just brilliant

Ten million internets to the first person who can find out how BAS 'decrypts' crop circle patterns to get their messages. Then we'll have a fun trip to Bulgaria next summer to do some circlemaking :D

www.circlemakers.org

Anonymous Coward
Coat
Reply Icon

Easy....

1. Smoke a big fat reefer

2. Look closely at crop circle. Say "whoooaa man.... grrrroovyyy...." a few times.

3. ??

4. Profit!!

Can I has mai 10,000,000 internets in cheeseburger pls? I has munchies. Kthxbai!

<-the one with the kitteh in each pocket

Sillyfellow
Reply Icon

sorry,

i don't speak Bulgarian.

Mike 140
Big Brother

It's a hack

Obviously someone has hacked the bulgarian sites and rerouted them to http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

Markus Wallett

Aliens in the room, and no-one sees them for the mustard

The world basically operates like this: We're in one big consensus reality, with loads of emperors new clothes and elephants in the room with us. Essentially, the majority of the population like their comfort zones and their own little worlds, and the non-terrestrials appreciate that fact, which is nice of them. Personally I think they should appear in the open and go boo, and give a lot of people a psychological collapse. Now, that would be funny.

BTW, does anyone remember that story that made the mainstream media of that copper in Wiltshire who disturbed three "Tall Blondes" in that crop formation in July of this year, and they scarpered from the field like Usain Bolt, only 10 times faster?

leakyPC
Welcome

hmmm

If they are so worried about the environment being damaged why do they destroy perfectly good crops to communicate? Do they use a plank and a piece of rope as well?

I for one welcome are Alien overlords who have obviously decided against further crop circle for communication, but have infiltrated the Bulgaria Space agency to get there Voices heard.

Anonymous Coward
Boffin

And some folks wonder why "Bulgarian Sceince" is an oxymoron?

Enough Said.

Andus McCoatover
Joke
Reply Icon

Bulgarian science aint so bad..

After all, the Bulgarians invented Airbags. I think...

M7S

Moral High Ground?

As their message involves damaging an innocent farmers livelihood and some (admittedly small) loss of food for the planet?

Couldn't they use perhaps a vegetable dye that would wash off in time and apply it somewhere like the M25. Unless of course you think the M25 is already a form of message from a higher power.

Does anyone else think that Paradox airing at the same time CERN goes back on line is just a little too coincidental.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Reply Icon

Pratchett & Gaiman

explained the origins of the M25 in Good Omens. It wasn't aliens, it was the Baddies From Hell -

"Many phenomena – wars, plagues, sudden audits – have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."

"In fact, very few people on the face of the planet know that the very shape of the M25 forms the sigil *odegra* in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds'."

lglethal
Joke

You would think...

... that if the Aliens were "friendly and wanted to help us" they would implant in someones mind, maybe this dude they "seem" to be communicating with, the keys to clean energy. Funnily enough they havent. I cant possibly understand the reasons why... *rolleyes*

Oh and if they object to makeup it could mean one of two things - 1) there all super amazingly gorgeous space babes, who look down on the earthly womans need of beauty enhancers with ill concealed contempt or b) they are all hideously disgusting beasts that not even a paralytically drunken scouser in a dark alley would say yes to, in which case there worried about losing out to the far superior earth female, especially once decked out in those lovely little enhancers that make us men all gooey! Tough call on which one it is going to be...

Sillyfellow
Welcome
Reply Icon

planting ideas

well, maybe aliens have been planting ideas in peoples heads. say, we have a fantastic idea all of a sudden.. who's to say where that idea came from.

if someone thinks something is their own idea then they'll probably be much more receptive of it, so it seems to me this would be a good way of doing things. removes the complication of the hysteria and kookiness of 'an alien told me'.

;?)

Anonymous John
Happy

They're here and against Global Warming?

Perhaps we should insist on everyone at the Climatic Research Unit being X-rayed. That should flush out most of them.

MichaelBirks
Flame
Reply Icon

@Anonymous John

And stop their war of nerves with Earth?

Are you the man who can stop them, a man whom fate has made indestructible?

Flames because they're Scarlet. And Black, of course.

Daniel Grout
Thumb Up

I for one...

welcome our new environmentally conscious overlords. Long may they tax the life out of us for things we can't change.

Bassey

Confusion

I think he's getting "Extra-terrestrial Aliens" and "The Pope" mixed up.

Rob
Alert

Change the name, the product stays the same

Seems Bulgaria wants to be the centre of modern day culture and this must be an early attempt to change the title of a certain substance to 'Bulgarian Marching Powder'

ql
Alien

Communication has happened for ages.

I mean, we have amanfrommars, for heaven's sake. It's not exactly a secret. And sometimes he makes more sense than a crop circle.

Paul Hates Handles
Alien

...no makeup?

That'll make some of 'em easier to spot, then :)

Ted Treen
Terminator

Well,

It would certainly explain Blair, Mandelson, Brown & Darling (inter alia)...

Jolyon
Alien

@Ted Treen

"It would certainly explain Blair, Mandelson, Brown & Darling (inter alia)..."

Nah, I'm with Ridley, the plural is 'aliens'.

Ex-IT
Alien

Ok...

It's a fair cop Guv, I am an Alien; I have an Extra Terestrial to prove it!

xyz
Coat

Bulgarian airbag

Had to be said...I'll get my etc

AndrueC
Joke

Stooopid aliens - we don't want 'em

..I mean let's look at the 'facts'. They travel billions of kilometres and arrive three thousand years ago. They identify the most advanced civilisation of the time and teach them how to build huge structures. Out of stone. Not steel and concrete - stone.

Then supposedly a thousand years later they move to South America and teach them the same thing only this time they also explain about stairs. Gosh.

Around the same time they build a massive space port on a high plateau but instead of laying down concrete or tarmac they just remove some dust and leave all the rocks and pebbles in place. Clearly the result doesn't work the first time so they keep building runways but never seem to get it right. Eventually they give up, resort to graffiti and give up.

Now they have the cheek to try and tell us how to run our lives and our own planet? I'm sure if they asked us nicely we could complete their spaceport for them and then they could sod off to wherever they came from.

Robert Ramsay
Joke

Of course he's right!

Just ask his esteemed colleague, Dr. Hans Zarkov!

Fred 24
Joke

Its all arse backwards

... it's merely Invader Zim and Gir up to their propaganda tricks again, if he wasn't so over-zealous he would have succeeded at the mass-remote-mind control!

Kevin 6
Alien

ehh?

""Unnatural" acts such as use of cosmetics and "artificial insemination" are also frowned upon by the extraterrestrial visitors."

And here I always thought they started the use of artificial insemination on humans. So this is a do as I say not as I do situation then.

shay mclachlan
Unhappy

maybe my mistake

Maybe it's partly my fault .As an occasional participant in inebriated Saturday night crop circle activities around Wessex in my youth, it now looks like we did actually get in touch with aliens from another world.

God knows what drunken abusive messages we might have unknowingly sent. I just hope it wasnt the kind that result in a raging alien anger and instant planetary oblivion for earthlings.

Sorry.

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