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back to article Aus gov dredges up cuter panic-button for kids online

Salvation for children who feel threatened, harassed or bullied on the internet may be close at hand, in the shape of a user-friendly dolphin-shaped "panic button". That appears to be the upshot of discussions now taking place in the Australian Federal Government’s consultative working group on cyber safety. While their approach …

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Jobs Halo

Pedobear

Isn't the pedobear cute enough already?

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Silly idea?

Quote/ The idea is to create a button that parents can download and install on their children's computers: if they then encounter serious trouble online, one click on the button would instantly connect them to police or child protection groups. /unquote.

I'd press it just to see what happens, and I'm 61!

P.

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Coat

Madeleine

CEOP seem keen on the Madeleine McGann case (see their homepage). Maybe every photo site (flickr etc) should have a 'I've Found Maddie!' button?

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Happy

No

No no your doing it all wrong!

They need a 'I've found Maddie' button which you download and install in your browser.

Duh.

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Gold badge
FAIL

Words fail me

"if they then encounter serious trouble online, one click on the button would instantly connect them to police or child protection groups."

If my kids encounter serious trouble online, then there is already a nice X-shaped button in the top right-hand corner. It doesn't connect them to the police, but frankly, neither will this scheme. What police force in its right mind is going to staff an office to receive button clicks from 8-year-olds?

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Silver badge

And do what

>instantly connect them to police or child protection groups.

So a chat window will popup and the 'grownup' on the other end will ask them lots of questions that they must answer because they are the police - can't see any risk in that.

Or the police will send round a SWAT team?

Or somebody will just collect statistics on how many children are being 'abused online' (ie pressed the button) each day - to justify allowing Murdoch to run a private Aussie net.

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Anonymous Coward

Can you imagine that in the UK?

"The idea is to create a button that parents can download and install on their children's computers: if they then encounter serious trouble online, one click on the button would instantly connect them to police or child protection groups."

Imagine the scene in the UK, the kid visits a site, presses the panic button on their computer. The rozzers rush round to seize the computer, arrest the kid & parents, get a lot of DNA samples, perhaps prosecute the kid for possession of extreme porn.... Is there something encrytped on the computers they can demand decrypted....maybe a prosecution or two in it RESULT!

On balance, I think the kid is better contacting the parent. The rozzers main interest is in arrests, because that how their performance is measured, the child protection groups always exaggerate problems to maximize fund raising (shall we stop it now?)... so not a good thing to let your kids bypass you.

If you recall the teacher who was arrested in the US when some virus on the computer popped up a porn site, as if *she* was to blame? That's you that is!

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WTF?

Dolphins - are they serious

One of the randiest mammals on the planet and with a metre long penis to boot, and they want kids to press a button when they don't like something on the interweb. They should make it even more realistic and let the kids play with its joystick.

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Unhappy

Connect to sources of help..

Surely their *parents* should be the first source of help.

The state can't take the place of parenting, no matter how much the lefties wish it would be so.

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Too many yoofs not raised by parents but by sperm/egg donors

I agree, treboR, that the state can not (and should not have to) take the place of parenting, but at least here in Amurka there are too many yoofs being housed and fed (I can not say "raised") by parents- in- name- only who couldn't be arsed to use a condom then and can't be arsed to properly raise the outcome now, as our schools, welfare offices, and juvenile justice systems amply demonstrate. So what should we do? An online panic button is far from perfect and does not address the whole of the problem, but if it opens a discussion that includes "Where the heck are the parents?" and then "What should the parents be doing?" it is not a bad idea.

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Thumb Down

We dont want a dolphin,

We want Sexual Harassment Panda!

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Thumb Up

Great!

So that's not going to get abused by prats out to waste the authorities time with bogus calls is it?!

1. *click* *click* *click*

2. Police gather IP details. attempt to make contact with "clicker"

3. Prat reboots modem, get's new IP.

4. Repeat ad-infitum!

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Silver badge

And won't somebody think...

...of all those children who have been sexually molested by a dolphin?

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Pint

Panic Button?

Sounds good - can I have one? Does it work when the kids ask me for money? Maybe it could put my wallet beside that LHC device then they might not notice it - what with the space/time distortions and all that etc?

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Silver badge
FAIL

Kids: Get on the lawn

Hector's World is targeted at 2 to 9 year olds.

WTF are 2 year olds surfing the interwebs for?

Go outside, kick a ball, fall of bikes, fight in the sandpit, graze your knees.... Anyone wonder why the kids of today are so pathetic? We're making them this way.

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Flame

this button is no substitute

for adult supervision. Come on parents, take responsibility.

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Silver badge

Kookaburra

Never heard one make a noise like that in the episodes of flipper I saw and we have to listen to them on a daily basis where I live.

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Anonymous Coward

It's a data collection tool

Primarily useful to the likes of CEOP to bolster their soundbites. Reverend Jim (Gamble, CEO, CEOP) recently took great delight in telling BBC Radio4's Today programme that CEOP received 'over 10,000 clicks a month' on it's own panic button. 120,000 clicks a year from children presumably all in danger from 'online predators' sounds SO impressive when trying to promote the Paedogeddon (with one beady eye on the budget for next year).

I still take issue with that figure of 10,000 clicks a month. I'd like to know how that figure, if at all true, breaks down into actual abuses cases. But let's not hold our breath waiting for answer from CEOP. They don't 'do' explanations, just sensations.

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Gold badge

@AC (Fri, 02:27)

"this button is no substitute ... for adult supervision. Come on parents, take responsibility."

I see no evidence that parents *aren't* taking responsibility. This button is being proposed by a bunch of intrusive tossers who want to *stop* parents from taking responsibility, and hand that responsibility over to the database managers in Whitehall.

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Linux

and then there will be the spoofs...

[dolphin button]

*click*

::::||||| I'm looking at dolphin Pr0n, I'm looking at dolphin Pr0n, |||||:::::

(penguin, dolphin, well it's close-ish)

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Anonymous Coward

download a button?

We can download hardware now?

Crikey....

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