Responding to its nation's sovereign call to develop electronics with the intelligence of a cat, IBM last week announced a major step in feline gray matter simulation. But professional rivalries clearly run deep inside puss brain replication circles, with a leading neuroscientist blasting the project as a "scam" and a "mass …
First to say ...
Paris: cat-fight at dawn
Really? cat-sized brain?
As a cat owner, i'm sure they were going for the low hanging fruit (dog-sized brain) but thought that a computer that only wanted to lubricate its output interfaces and core dumped in the kitchen wouldn't get them the column inches.
so they decide to go for a cat-sized brain, good luck to getting that to work.
the process listing would show 90% sleep cycles all the time, the recycle bin would be full of logs, and the file store full of LOLcats.
Where's the cat litter and scratching post, then?
Cat Brain Sim
Look around for dogs
If dog found climb furniture
if tired then do sleep
Look around for servant
If servant found do "manipulate servant"
lick private parts
func manipulate servant()
rub self on servant leg()
if servant_rub || servant pat then do purr
if servant_kick then do hiss, run, goto start
if servant_feed then do sniff_food
if food_smell >= hunger_level then do eat
I cun haz prize now?
I agree. What ever it is they are doing, it's not a simulation of a Cat's Cortex. It's a bigger version of pointless "neuron" models that tell us nothing much about cognition.
Rarified Nerd Brain ≠ Mollified Herd Brain
This is typical of so many pronouncements by technical professionals who can't conceive how a non-technical person might take their words.
Last one of note was the so-called desktop "electromagnetic blackhole" from Purdue U. that my non-technical friends mis-read as a cosmological black hole in a lab. Sigh.
useless use of cat
I already nominated this for a Useless Use of cat award. But maybe the story has even less to it.
IBM, once the biggest IT company has become so irrelevant today. With all that puss power all they can do is sell Point Of Sell (POS) systems...
Perfect application waiting for this
Once we have a simulated cat cortex it simply must go into the executive module of the first Infinite Improbability Drive. What shall we name the starship to contain it? I suggest Heart of Goldfish.
Attack of the killer non-sentient-node-brain.
"meow" said the computer, as it launched the nukes.
One small step for Man ... One Quantum Leap for HyperRadioProActive Womankind*
"It's not artificial intelligence we're after here." .... IBM spokeswoman
Then pray tell what intelligence you are after, IBM. Is it IBM's conclusion/prognostication that Man's Intelligence is Failed and needs to be Replaced/is being Super Seeded?
What are you then using to make your decisions? The Intelligence of Women ..... or is IT AAA Phormed BaseMetaData Phished and Zipped from Virtual Space Communications in the Great Plagiarism for Lead Drive in a Grand New Real SurReal Intelligence Design for Virtual Reality Immersion and Conversion.
And if not, why not ....... whenever the Facility is so Freely Available....... and would Offer everything so Differently and thus Immediately Eliminate Conflicts ..... and a NIRobotIQs Program which A.N.Other HPCombine is Realising in the Rising Sun East?
* Or would that be too Alien a Program for Immediate Full Comprehension?
30 Scratch furniture
40 goto 10
So they are after...
. It's not artificial intelligence we're after here.
So what are they after? Real stupidity?
I have one already
All it takes is windows and a few applications running and it seems that my laptop begins to behave in whimsical and inexplicable ways,often choosing to sleep for extended periods. That would probably pass a feline equivalent of a Turing Test already.
@AC 00:53 GMT
IBM are still big in processing. Most games consoles use IBM's PowerPC core, and the PS3 even uses PPC cell processing. Laboratories use cell processors for computational tasks too, because of the need for high speed and accurate results.
Thought persists through time
Consciousness can not be time sliced through a CPU, thoughts that took place in the past have a bearing on thoughts that take place in the present. If this did not happen the brain would need to grow expediently to accommodate more advanced though processes. I believe these kind of through time anomalies have been observed in sub atomic particle physics.
What comprises you is every thought you had from the moment you were born to the moment you die, all of which work together as a whole to give you conscious thought. Without that persistence through time all you have is lump of gray goo that is capable of very little.
Can I have my award now for solving the mystery of conscious thought please?
I guess not as philosophers will only accept that you are capable of having ideas if you reach level 3 in their club.
I can haz $636865657A627572676168 now?
They ought to practice on something simpler, such as simulating the brain of a NuLabour minister.
IBM Management brain next?
...or was that last years project?
Tells you something about intelligence:
They make computers out of cats
They can only make make soylent green out of people
@ Number 6
They've already simulated the political brain (not just NuLabor)
Ever heard of dev/null ?
IBM has claimed more than just simulating a cat size cortex
As if the original claim wasn't bad enough they went further and claimed (publicly @ http://twitter.com/smarterplanetau) :
"IBM makes supercomputer significantly smarter than cat "
To be fair, a cat's brain-sized NN does not constitute a cat's brain any more than a pile of bricks constitutes a house, or methaphors to that effect.
IBM: "All your catz are belong to us!"
Because Paris purrs!