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back to article Write haiku, win home server

Intel and Microsoft want to give you a home server in exchange for 17 syllables of poetic artistry. Seeing as how, according to the companies' just-announced Home Server Haiku Challenge, a "home server is like having a samurai in a box," it's fitting that a haiku-writing contest would be just the culturally sensitive gimmick for …

COMMENTS

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WTF?

Samurai in a box?

I don't think I want one if the slightest error causes it to rip its insides apart so that it can't fail me again.

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Unhappy

HELLO? MERKINS?

There ARE people other than Americans you know.

Or maybe you don't. >:-(

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Grenade

read ALL the fine print in the rules

"A random drawing selecting 100 of the total entries will be held on12/12/2009 by HB Design, an independent judging organization. Of the 100 entries selected, judges will select 23 of the best haikus."

So, if you win the random drawing lottery, then you've got roughly a 1 in 4 chance of winning something. Sounds like random chance counts for a lot more than poetic skill.

Clever Marketing

Capturing information

Cloaked as a contest.

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Joke

#1

leaf on tree falling, browning and

falling.

Acountants use this PC

Tippex is on monitor?

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WTF?

Here's one...

Contest is open to legal residents of the United States,

twenty-one (21) years of age

or older as of entry date.

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Gates Horns

Haiku?

Kiss my ass M.S.

I will use Linux only

I don't need your sh*t

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Unhappy

how do you count these syllables anyway?

crap is being streamed

twennty four hours a day

i have switched off

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Coat

Here's one...

Wintel Home Server

Is a fitting replacement

For dead Time Capsule.

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Silver badge

@ Reallydo Wannaknow

Very clever, well done.

Here's my attempt:

Asus and HP

reliable may be true

MS f*cks it up

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Coat

Since I'm not a 'Merkin

obviously no solidarity amongst the colonies, so 'Merkins, feel free to abscond with this, however royalties are appropriate :P

a server at home

no one would really want it

who am i kidding?!

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Bronze badge

Here's One

"I start Windows now.

Updates arrive endlessly.

I switch to Linux."

OK, Microsoft. Where's my server?

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IT Angle

Hmmm

Were I in the States

I could enter this compo

However, I'm not.

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Silver badge
Big Brother

A UK version...

A server at home?

Message from the Home Office:

It's covered by IMP

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Linux

Another rejection slip

Why would you use crap

like Microsoft Home Server?

Linux is better.

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Linux

this work?

ubuntu rocks me

Microsoft wants a haiku

They can suck my dick

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Thumb Down

buh

For americans?

contest i say is weaksauce

no HP for me :(

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FAIL

My entry

Microsoft tries hard

to distribute their shite, but

must give it away.

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Linux

Here's One

Home Server's used for

billionare-college-dropout's

crappy OS's

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Bronze badge

feeble (this and that)

I know which I'd choose:

A suffusion of yellow

Or blue screen of death

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Always liked...

Three things are certain

Death, taxes, and lost data

Guess which just happened

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Gates Horns

But I'm ¼ 'Merkin!

Contest rules unfair

Someone call the Waaahmbulance!

Pram now dummyless

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WTF?

Bye bye data...

Windows Home Server

now why the fuck

would I want that?

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Thumb Down

The last line needs work...

I'd like a server

But I'm not American

Bollocks bollocks boll...

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Anonymous Coward

where's my 10ft pole?

no windows no intel

and to top it off

not an american

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Boffin

Staying true to haiku form?

True haiku form surely means using one of roughly 100 classic approved themes - and crush me below VAX 11/770 if there is anything about home servers. Or "samirais in the box" for that matter.

I read the rulebook

Yet the point eludes me still

Is foolish one me?

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oh no

A wasted day of

a plethora of haikus

i hate microsoft

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WTF?

Right

Has anyone contacted noted haiku artiste and new President of the European Council Herman van Rompuy?

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Gates Halo

Ginger rage

Scamps get on yahoo

About Stu I need to talk

He's prammed it again.

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Headmaster

@ JoeG & AC #1

Two extra line-breaks

Do not constitute haiku.

Count the syllables.

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Gates Halo

The good ship Microsoft

We love you Bill Gates.

It's a shame you left the helm

Ballmer is a c**t

Japanese art forms

Can be africted by this

Casual lacism

Oblig: oi scamps get on yahoo. I need to talk to you abou stu [-]

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Silver badge

Haiku?

There's a rather sweet little desktop OS called "Haiku" inspired by BeOS. It's still gestating and rough round the ages, but it seems to hold promise as it doesn't suffer from all the bloat of Linux (let alone Windows), so might be good for older/lower spec units.

The comment from Dave Harris is very close (identical?) to one of Haiku's error messages.

You can find out about Haiku here: http://www.haiku-os.org/

And I strongly suggest you muck around with it under virtualisation repeating the haiku

"Haiku is not Linux,

And neither of them are Windows.

Oh thank god!"

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Silver badge

How it will work out

enter a contest

write with no sincerity

sell prize on eBay

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Anonymous Coward

Haiku fail

Only one has any seasonal reference so far.

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Bronze badge
Go

A lottery huh?

Words chosen with care

Blow away on winds of chance...

No server for you!

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Badgers

And this isn't going to make me sign up to Twitter either

_Samba / Competition_

Five, sev'n, five, three lines:

A simple standard to keep

But we rewrote the rules.

_Bushido_

Loyalty unto death:

Is Windows Home Server

like a samurai?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: @ JoeG & AC #1

David T is right.

If you don't understand it

You're an idiot.

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Gates Horns

Pah! BeOS error messages FTW!

Stealing ideas from

The BeOS will not win you

any friends here Bill

Some particularly relevant NetPositive error messages:

Won't you please observe

A brief moment of silence

For the dead server?

First snow, then silence.

This expensive server dies

So beautifully.

Ephemeral site.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

Errors have occurred.

We won't tell you where or why.

Lazy programmers.

Server's poor response

Not quick enough for browser.

Timed out, plum blossom.

Stay the patient course

Of little worth is your ire

The server is down

Error reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

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Go

My attempt

Samba is flaky

Home Server makes Jesus cry

I'm off to the pub

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Hmm

I would rather buy

A cheap home enema kit

Than Microsoft crap

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Grenade

@Haiku fail

Comments by AC

Fails to even google it;

Always git season

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40 comments

Forty comments now,

and no Hitler mention yet.

Godwin's law, still valid?

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Thumb Up

To title or not to title...

This shower of fine poetry has inspired me... so here is my try

Haikus galore

even without BofH this is

a happy Friday

...and one for the contest:

Windows Home Server

like a possum on the lines

it will burn and die

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Bronze badge

感謝祭

In late November,

no Twitter, no home server —

Thanksgiving observed.

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Troll

Er, holiday season?

Holiday season?

Can't be; it's not Christmas yet.

That's in December.

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