Coward-esque
Noel, or Anonymous?
Fortified as I am by the greasiest, kebabingest TechnoWrap™ Soho has to offer and a generous nip of desk brandy, I suppose I can just about stomach a traipse through your scintillating contributions to modern discourse. Welcome back to Comment of the Week, your new favourite Reg regurgitationfest. Last week's controversial …
...I suspect that you enjoy your job too much.
Then I consider your hours of invisible toil, weeding out rants from the worst among us, and figure that you're due a bit of snappy phrase-turning.
You guys need to do a 'day in the life of the Moderatrix' feature. Something like,
07:00: Awakens.
07:04: Showered, dressed, and out the door.
09:00: Arrive Reg HQ.
09:05: Massage Andrew Orlowski, who is stressed from his failure to provide t-shirts to Reg contest winners.
10:02: Begin work moderating posts from commentards.
12:00: Twelve-martini lunch.
..etc etc.
I can't but help get the feeling, upon reading your elucidating article regarding the most inane and banaal comments (of the week no less) that you are fed up with life.
Might I make a teensy weensy suggestion to thee?
Start a cult. Go on, you know you want to.
Can it be a space alien death cult? I always wanted to join one of those but I could never get the track pants in my size!
Is it to replace the useless "Fail and You", which thankfully seems to have failed?
Or maybe a shoe in the door to get rid of Whochamacallit Dynamics and their endless polls, expertly designed to result in exactly what they are being payed to prove?
Or perhaps it's an attempt to dump the aging, self-derivative BOFH, which stopped being funny back when Usenet was still interesting (as opposed to a useful source of data)?
Seriously, what is Cost Of The Week for, exactly?
(And no, my "1889" typo wasn't on purpose ... I'll apologize in the appropriate thread when I get called on it ... which I'm absolutely certain will happen, bye and bye.)
Sarah Bee = amanfrommars ?
The writing style is very similar!
"Where do I claim my balls?"
If you've been married for a while, then you'll never get them back.
Why not reserve "comment of the week" articles for weeks when there are comments actually deserving of that accolade.
None of these made me laugh as much as "there is no country called America". In fact, none of these made me laugh. They're worse than last week. I still don't get what is funny about brick dust?!
I want to make a geeky star wars joke, simultaneously obviously but geeky enough that anyone who hasn't seen the films/watched the books won't get it
(Coruscant, geddit?)
No...
W and indeed TF, Winky? Are you trying to drive me to jump off the roof?
Send me your address, Annhilator, and we'll ball you up.
If I were you, AC, I'd stop whining and be the change I want to see in the world, y'know?