Ah, the iTablet.... or the iSlate... or whatever
"Apple has not said a tablet is coming. Various sources say one is. It is claimed it will be bigger than an iPhone but smaller than an MacBook, and will cost around $700."
Every so often, it will determine that some of the news was not fit to print, and will help you not to yield to the temptation to read it by blocking it. You will only be able to buy papers from the app store using iTunes. Every now and again one of the papers will offend SJ, and be blocked for a couple of weeks until it sees reason and apologizes.
This will be applauded by the Apple fans, after all, why should Apple support the anti-Apple press? When it is just picking on Apple all the time?
It will have a camera in it, and if you do not wear a black turtleneck at least once every 50 occasions of use, it will emit a deafening scream until you go get one and put it on.
You will only be able to get apps for it from the app store, and you will pay a percentage to Apple for having made sure that all your apps are clean and well intentioned, and cannot be used to access such wicked though unaccountably legal works such as the Kama Sutra.
You will be obliged to kneel and bow your head in the direction of Cupertino wherever you are in the world at least once a day.
It will look very expensive for what it is. It will have tiny amounts of memory, which if you add to it will take you well over 1,000. It will also require you subscribe to the worst possible mobile operator in your jurisdiction. Apple will do testing before picking one to make sure it really is the worst.
All in all you may feel this is a very expensive computer.
You will be quite wrong to think that. Its actually a cut price religion.