El Reg launches 'Comment of the Week'
We're almost delighted this crisp October Friday to announce the launch of the El Reg "Comment of the Week" slot, in which the crème de la crème of the previous seven days' turdspurts and shoutpourings will be showcased for the reading pleasure of you, our beloved commentards. The selection will, of course, be a matter for the …
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These are...
Just so wrong.
On so many levels just wrong!
I think If I tried to taste one of those my mouth would reject me.
Sorry...
I've just had a thought about the Moderaterix and liquid fill camel balls, in the same sentence.
I need to lie down now.
Meh, Rather have......
What about some nice BooBee juice instead.
http://www.unibev.co.uk/1210/8456.html
Say what?
I would like to find out more about this product, but there is no way in hell that I'm typing "Liquid Filled Camel Balls" in to Google whilst I'm at work!
While we're here, can I request that box cover as a new comment icon? This is the nearest I could find, although the alt text "Suck On This" is quite apt.
Additional: It turns out that the spell-checker bundled with Google Chrome which activates on comment boxes like this, doesn't know the word "Google". Not self-aware quite yet then.
And the winner is...
...probably going to be someone (whose merest parameters I am unworthy to compute) commenting on that camel balls picture!
Where?
Who would do such a thing? Please tell us where these things come from, so I can avoid going there.
Fuck this...
...i'm not playing your sordid game.
Oh, wait......
Oh dear
Camel balls again? Reminds me of this time I got drunk in Cairo, but lets not go there!
CoTW
Can I please suggest that CoTW, the "C" doesn't stand for "Comment", but for the word that generally manages to offend all. 4 letters, ends in "t".
If this move is successful, may I be the first to nominate that Griffin chap as CoTW for his performance on QT last night?
Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!
You could at least have marked that NSFW!
"what quite possibly represents the most ill-advised piece of bubble gum branding of all time."
Don't count on it. 20+ years ago, a Danish upstart in the candy business marketed their candy as "Seagull droppings", "dog farts", "Sewer sludge", "Earwax", "Full diapers", etc. And a sample bag of the whole collection, obviously, "the dump".
An enormous markerting success which made the owner millions by the time he sold it off. In reality, what they produced was of course much the same as everyone else.
Hmm
So what you're saying is that El Reg currently has balls, but once we start commenting, we'll be the ones with more balls than you?
</predictable>
Ahem...
I am awaiting a suitable article, as i am sure a witticism or two will avail me of a brace of said balls. Slurp!
Where can I get these???
I want some.
Just to see peoples faces when left in the staff canteen!
CotW
And there was me thinking that El Reg had gone for the 'c' word to replace the 'Flame' of FotW...
That's the word 'Comic', ...obviously.
Sod comment of the week
Whatever happened to flame of the week?
One-time offer?
Admit it, you only decided to offer the prize because you'd managed to get something from a Viz advert. If it had been plain boring-brand bubble gum then you'd all just be sticking it under your own desks like chewing gum.
Tasteful
Some years ago in Australia I seem to remember a liquid-filled chewing gum called 'Spurt' that went down well.
A friend of mine at the time assured me there was also an after-shave called SureFuck...
But if someone in Virginia wins.....
...do you ship to "America"?
Camel Balls -- Only in the Britain Isles
God Bless the British Isles
The Great British Isles Dream
Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot
Take a jumbo across the water
Like to see the British Isles
See the girls in Caledonia
I'm hoping its going to come true
But there's not a lot I can do
Could we have kippers for breakfast
Mummy dear, mummy dear
They got to have 'em in Dublin
'Cause everyone's a millionaire
I'm a winner, I'm a sinner
Do you want my autograph
I'm a loser, what a joker
I'm playing my jokes upon you
While there's nothing better to do
Don't you look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot
Take a jumbo cross the water
Like to see the British Isles
See the girls in Caledonia
I'm hoping its going to come true
But theres not a lot I can do
ITSATRAP!
So are elReg commenters foolish enough to give their REAL details and REAL email address, knowing that if you say anything that upsets elReg, they mock you?
Me thinks this is a trap :)
Cisco?
Did they really ask for their name to be associated with this article?
Not sure if that makes me more or less likely to buy their products.
54321
Of course, after you've slurped on your camel balls for a while, you'll need to be washing it down with some spunk..
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/03/19/cokes_spunky_water_pulled/
Mine's the dirty mac.
@Sarah Bee, @Annihilator
@Sarah: You're cruel. Keep up the good work. You remind me of an editor I know ;)
@Annihilator: Cart? Curt? Cant?
Comments turning pro
What stakes!
On the one hand, when commentards become overexcited, the Moderatrix will scold, chastise or castrate, individually or collectively, as appropriate. On the other, Lester delicately dangles his delicious juicy camel bollocks on the tips of our tongues - though we all know only one will get to nibble.
It will be a melee. I, for one, salute not only future winners, but those who die trying.
Can't get Chef out of my head....
'suck on my chocolate salty balls'
oh dear.
@Winkypop
Now thats a customs declaration form I'd like to see...
Contents: pair camels balls
Checked as a Gift of corse, or maybe an industrial sample?
@ Sir R Spoon
Alternatively, the Japanese electronolytical drink, Pokari Sweat
Dear Moderator
I've got a picture of you and the camel before he had his balls chopped off so send them over toot sweet and we'll say no more about it.
Re: Dear Moderator
Certainly. Would you also like me to send over that video of you and that horse? Or should we meet in person for a friendly discussion? That cafe next to your bank is very nice.
@ Really? By Anonymous Coward
The competitions are fine - its the prizes that are bollocks!
Why, oh why, ...
...sully the gentle art of anonymous commentary with filthy lucre (and gonads)? The art of the comment cannot be bought and sold, like common journalism. A handful of silver (or gonads) might buy you column-inches and gold may rent you a whole tabloid of colour supplements, but no amount of treasure (or heaping pile of gonads) can make the smallest part of a downpayment on good anonymous commentary.
A good comment is born from the sweaty consummation of the union between inspiration and opportunity. A panting, frantic, ecstatic culmination followed by a shameful period of self loathing and recrimination.
No, it takes balls to bring forth a good comment and no box of gonads can possibly replace that.
Yours, Anon (A commenter)
[Please, sirs and madams, may I be considered for FoTW. Thank you. ]
Not quite as amusing...
as the boxes of liquorice I once saw in Germany called Spunk.
The Taste
Have they been feeding pineapples to the camel? I hear that helps the flavor.
One flaw in the plan...
... You are assuming that once a week someone posts something here that impresses (in a positive way) Ms Bee.
I truly doubt this is the case.
Not that some of the comments aren't good, I just doubt that Sarah's impressed by them.
bad candy
http://www.bad-candy.com
some very clever writing and the most awful "candy" imaginable from around the world.
Haven't checked them lately, but wouldn't be at all surprised to find Camel Balls gum prominently displayed. Somehow, "WTF?!?" just doesn't cover this one...
Re: Re: Dear Moderator
That was artistic... But, um, five o'clock alright?
Re: One flaw in the plan...
I'm impressed by your insight and candour, John, I can tell you that.
I think I can manage one comment that makes me smirk in any given week. Just about.
Re: Re: One flaw in the plan...
The same 15 comments posted over and over again by dozens of commenttards. Modified only slightly from the last time that comment was posted. The same pointless memes, horribly rude expressions of personal and cultural predjudice. The same circular arguments repeated ad nauseam. Somehow despite all of that, you aren't totally jaded and inured to all the pointless blithering? You can extract amusement from this sorry lot? My ghast is well and truly flabbered.
That either makes you either the single most patient human being alive or...
...Sarah...are you an alien?
We should be told.
thanks
This may or may not be SFW, but it's certainly (along with the comments) hilarious and just in time for the Friday rush.
@The Beer Monster
"@Annihilator: Cart? Curt? Cant?"
See you next Tuesday, yeah?
So wrong, but...
"just chew to release the juice"
OK, off to be very ill and gargle with gin.
so tell me...
... is this going to be written and presented in the same style as Robin Lettice's weekly comments section, only with added camel balls and one moderatrix's rapist-wit??
The old weekly comments roundup used to be the highlight of my week* - and while these figures may not be accurate, or based on anything concrete, I'd say when you stopped doing that roundup, commentard turd-spurts rose 59%, and intelligent/witty comments declined 33%.
Maybe commentards of the week who make it to the roundup can have a golden icon with the dangly camel balls appear by default next to their names, like el-reg staff get their own vulture logo...
* ok, not the highlight of the week, but a nice finish to a long, long week in IT
Copter icon - as I assume you will not be using Royal Mail to deliver your juicy balls
Judged by the Moderatrix...
Would this be the same Moderatrix who is the epitome of style and sophistication, whose beauty and grace is matched only by her incisive wit, enviable intelligence and saintly patience, the ray of sunlight that occasionally shines through the dull and dreary comments section? I say this because it's true and needs to be said and not because I want put some camel balls in my mouth.
@Annihilator
CYNT. What's that supposed to mean? 'Y' in the middle of a work is usually pronounced 'i', so that phonetecially makes 'Kint'
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