back to article El Reg launches 'Comment of the Week'

We're almost delighted this crisp October Friday to announce the launch of the El Reg "Comment of the Week" slot, in which the crème de la crème of the previous seven days' turdspurts and shoutpourings will be showcased for the reading pleasure of you, our beloved commentards. The selection will, of course, be a matter for the …

COMMENTS

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Stop

These are...

Just so wrong.

On so many levels just wrong!

I think If I tried to taste one of those my mouth would reject me.

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Coffee/keyboard

Sorry...

I've just had a thought about the Moderaterix and liquid fill camel balls, in the same sentence.

I need to lie down now.

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IT Angle

What's this got to do with IT?

Had to be said.

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Meh, Rather have......

What about some nice BooBee juice instead.

http://www.unibev.co.uk/1210/8456.html

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Joke

Really?

I've always said these competitions are bollocks.

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Grenade

Say what?

I would like to find out more about this product, but there is no way in hell that I'm typing "Liquid Filled Camel Balls" in to Google whilst I'm at work!

While we're here, can I request that box cover as a new comment icon? This is the nearest I could find, although the alt text "Suck On This" is quite apt.

Additional: It turns out that the spell-checker bundled with Google Chrome which activates on comment boxes like this, doesn't know the word "Google". Not self-aware quite yet then.

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Troll

And the winner is...

...probably going to be someone (whose merest parameters I am unworthy to compute) commenting on that camel balls picture!

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WTF?

Where?

Who would do such a thing? Please tell us where these things come from, so I can avoid going there.

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Alert

Fuck this...

...i'm not playing your sordid game.

Oh, wait......

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Joke

Oh dear

Camel balls again? Reminds me of this time I got drunk in Cairo, but lets not go there!

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Pint

CoTW

Can I please suggest that CoTW, the "C" doesn't stand for "Comment", but for the word that generally manages to offend all. 4 letters, ends in "t".

If this move is successful, may I be the first to nominate that Griffin chap as CoTW for his performance on QT last night?

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Coat

What?

They're not salty?

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Dead Vulture

Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!

You could at least have marked that NSFW!

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"what quite possibly represents the most ill-advised piece of bubble gum branding of all time."

Don't count on it. 20+ years ago, a Danish upstart in the candy business marketed their candy as "Seagull droppings", "dog farts", "Sewer sludge", "Earwax", "Full diapers", etc. And a sample bag of the whole collection, obviously, "the dump".

An enormous markerting success which made the owner millions by the time he sold it off. In reality, what they produced was of course much the same as everyone else.

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Joke

Hmm

So what you're saying is that El Reg currently has balls, but once we start commenting, we'll be the ones with more balls than you?

</predictable>

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Ahem...

I am awaiting a suitable article, as i am sure a witticism or two will avail me of a brace of said balls. Slurp!

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Where can I get these???

I want some.

Just to see peoples faces when left in the staff canteen!

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Pint

CotW

And there was me thinking that El Reg had gone for the 'c' word to replace the 'Flame' of FotW...

That's the word 'Comic', ...obviously.

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Flame

Sod comment of the week

Whatever happened to flame of the week?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Sorry...

Back in your basket.

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One-time offer?

Admit it, you only decided to offer the prize because you'd managed to get something from a Viz advert. If it had been plain boring-brand bubble gum then you'd all just be sticking it under your own desks like chewing gum.

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Tasteful

Some years ago in Australia I seem to remember a liquid-filled chewing gum called 'Spurt' that went down well.

A friend of mine at the time assured me there was also an after-shave called SureFuck...

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Flame

But if someone in Virginia wins.....

...do you ship to "America"?

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Camel Balls -- Only in the Britain Isles

God Bless the British Isles

The Great British Isles Dream

Take a look at my girlfriend

She's the only one I got

Not much of a girlfriend

Never seem to get a lot

Take a jumbo across the water

Like to see the British Isles

See the girls in Caledonia

I'm hoping its going to come true

But there's not a lot I can do

Could we have kippers for breakfast

Mummy dear, mummy dear

They got to have 'em in Dublin

'Cause everyone's a millionaire

I'm a winner, I'm a sinner

Do you want my autograph

I'm a loser, what a joker

I'm playing my jokes upon you

While there's nothing better to do

Don't you look at my girlfriend

She's the only one I got

Not much of a girlfriend

Never seem to get a lot

Take a jumbo cross the water

Like to see the British Isles

See the girls in Caledonia

I'm hoping its going to come true

But theres not a lot I can do

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Anonymous Coward

ITSATRAP!

So are elReg commenters foolish enough to give their REAL details and REAL email address, knowing that if you say anything that upsets elReg, they mock you?

Me thinks this is a trap :)

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Cisco?

Did they really ask for their name to be associated with this article?

Not sure if that makes me more or less likely to buy their products.

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Coat

54321

Of course, after you've slurped on your camel balls for a while, you'll need to be washing it down with some spunk..

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/03/19/cokes_spunky_water_pulled/

Mine's the dirty mac.

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@Sarah Bee, @Annihilator

@Sarah: You're cruel. Keep up the good work. You remind me of an editor I know ;)

@Annihilator: Cart? Curt? Cant?

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Go

what do the losers get...

2 packets ?

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MnM
Heart

Comments turning pro

What stakes!

On the one hand, when commentards become overexcited, the Moderatrix will scold, chastise or castrate, individually or collectively, as appropriate. On the other, Lester delicately dangles his delicious juicy camel bollocks on the tips of our tongues - though we all know only one will get to nibble.

It will be a melee. I, for one, salute not only future winners, but those who die trying.

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Coffee/keyboard

Can't get Chef out of my head....

'suck on my chocolate salty balls'

oh dear.

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Boffin

@Winkypop

Now thats a customs declaration form I'd like to see...

Contents: pair camels balls

Checked as a Gift of corse, or maybe an industrial sample?

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@ Sir R Spoon

Alternatively, the Japanese electronolytical drink, Pokari Sweat

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Dear Moderator

I've got a picture of you and the camel before he had his balls chopped off so send them over toot sweet and we'll say no more about it.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Dear Moderator

Certainly. Would you also like me to send over that video of you and that horse? Or should we meet in person for a friendly discussion? That cafe next to your bank is very nice.

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@ Really? By Anonymous Coward

The competitions are fine - its the prizes that are bollocks!

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Stop

Why, oh why, ...

...sully the gentle art of anonymous commentary with filthy lucre (and gonads)? The art of the comment cannot be bought and sold, like common journalism. A handful of silver (or gonads) might buy you column-inches and gold may rent you a whole tabloid of colour supplements, but no amount of treasure (or heaping pile of gonads) can make the smallest part of a downpayment on good anonymous commentary.

A good comment is born from the sweaty consummation of the union between inspiration and opportunity. A panting, frantic, ecstatic culmination followed by a shameful period of self loathing and recrimination.

No, it takes balls to bring forth a good comment and no box of gonads can possibly replace that.

Yours, Anon (A commenter)

[Please, sirs and madams, may I be considered for FoTW. Thank you. ]

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Anonymous Coward

Not quite as amusing...

as the boxes of liquorice I once saw in Germany called Spunk.

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C-N

The Taste

Have they been feeding pineapples to the camel? I hear that helps the flavor.

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Stop

One flaw in the plan...

... You are assuming that once a week someone posts something here that impresses (in a positive way) Ms Bee.

I truly doubt this is the case.

Not that some of the comments aren't good, I just doubt that Sarah's impressed by them.

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bad candy

http://www.bad-candy.com

some very clever writing and the most awful "candy" imaginable from around the world.

Haven't checked them lately, but wouldn't be at all surprised to find Camel Balls gum prominently displayed. Somehow, "WTF?!?" just doesn't cover this one...

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Re: Re: Dear Moderator

That was artistic... But, um, five o'clock alright?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: One flaw in the plan...

I'm impressed by your insight and candour, John, I can tell you that.

I think I can manage one comment that makes me smirk in any given week. Just about.

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Alien

Re: Re: One flaw in the plan...

The same 15 comments posted over and over again by dozens of commenttards. Modified only slightly from the last time that comment was posted. The same pointless memes, horribly rude expressions of personal and cultural predjudice. The same circular arguments repeated ad nauseam. Somehow despite all of that, you aren't totally jaded and inured to all the pointless blithering? You can extract amusement from this sorry lot? My ghast is well and truly flabbered.

That either makes you either the single most patient human being alive or...

...Sarah...are you an alien?

We should be told.

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Happy

thanks

This may or may not be SFW, but it's certainly (along with the comments) hilarious and just in time for the Friday rush.

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@The Beer Monster

"@Annihilator: Cart? Curt? Cant?"

See you next Tuesday, yeah?

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So wrong, but...

"just chew to release the juice"

OK, off to be very ill and gargle with gin.

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Black Helicopters

so tell me...

... is this going to be written and presented in the same style as Robin Lettice's weekly comments section, only with added camel balls and one moderatrix's rapist-wit??

The old weekly comments roundup used to be the highlight of my week* - and while these figures may not be accurate, or based on anything concrete, I'd say when you stopped doing that roundup, commentard turd-spurts rose 59%, and intelligent/witty comments declined 33%.

Maybe commentards of the week who make it to the roundup can have a golden icon with the dangly camel balls appear by default next to their names, like el-reg staff get their own vulture logo...

* ok, not the highlight of the week, but a nice finish to a long, long week in IT

Copter icon - as I assume you will not be using Royal Mail to deliver your juicy balls

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Heart

Judged by the Moderatrix...

Would this be the same Moderatrix who is the epitome of style and sophistication, whose beauty and grace is matched only by her incisive wit, enviable intelligence and saintly patience, the ray of sunlight that occasionally shines through the dull and dreary comments section? I say this because it's true and needs to be said and not because I want put some camel balls in my mouth.

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Boffin

@Annihilator

CYNT. What's that supposed to mean? 'Y' in the middle of a work is usually pronounced 'i', so that phonetecially makes 'Kint'

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