The BBC is taking a bit of stick for rewriting Humpty Dumpty to protect wide-eyed kiddies from the terrible realisation that the combined ingenuity of all the king's horses and all the king's men proved insufficient to reassemble the poor chap. According to the Sun, CBeebies show Something Special featured a sanitised version …
""This is the traditional version of the Hansel and Gretel fairy story, showing an image of the witch being put in the oven. Concerned Grown-ups may like to preview the story first.""
Woah, spoiler alert!
Real World Version
Humpty Dumpty Sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
A safety notice somebody should erect
Because Humpty is suing via Claims Direct.
As has been noted before, it was probably a mistake to let the King's horses have first go at reassembling poor Hump.
What the fucking hell on a stick
is wrong with these old fairy tales they have for many many years scared children with there cannibalistic ways of eating witches and what have you what not and so forth. To use a lame excuse as "the children need to be exposed to the real world" When was the last time that anyone here baked and ate a witch? When? We need to deal with this menace to society. Rewrite all these horrible old stories. Won´t anyone think of the children?
Mr Tumble is a God
And should not be ridiculed in anyway.
I'm guessing that 90% of parents with young children will both agree with me and take up arms in his defence!!
Anyway, that's all I have to say on the matter
A-tissue! a-tissue! We all have flu jabs and get better
What else can they sanitise?
How about changing rock-a-bye baby so that the council turn up and take the child into custody?
The old woman who lived in a shoe with her dozens of children could get benefits and a council house.
Jack and Jill don't fall down the hill because the council had the well closed on health & safety grounds.
The three blind mice didn't get their tales cut off, instead the farmers wife trains up the sheep dog to be a guide dog.
I don't think Cock Robin could get on the air due to the lewdness of the name corrupting children.
"Kids should be exposed to real life a bit"
And you do that with a character that is portrayed as an egg?
Oops, silly me. Those were a politicians words.
Its all just a scam
So they can sell 'Humpty - the directors cut' DVDs with the real ending and commentaries and stuff
Yes, children need to learn the real-life dangers of being a giant egg-man in a world managed by an incompetent monarchist military force.
Where's the IT....
It's PC gone MAAAAAAAAAAD!
Mr Tumble is a legend !!!
Love the show and so does my 2 year old !
Paris because she looks a bit like Sarah-Jane and I definately would !
humpty dumpty is violent??
i take it these people must be vegans and don't eat eggs then..
and what the hell would you preview a nursery rhyme for??
why not just write a new one if you're going to change it, what a bunch of tools
Exposed to real life
Yes, thanks to my traditional education I have so far avoided any kind of mishap involving egg/boy hybrids being placed in precarious aerial locations, especially those where a risk assessment should clearly indicate that a safety harness is necessary.
I also learnt that cavalry regiments are a poor substitute for properly trained doctors, and that horses do not have sufficient manual dexterity to perform microsurgery.
Watching Ricky Gervais' standup routine helped as well.
Good old MPs eh? You can rely on them for a soundbite on just about any old bollocks.
My 1.5 year old kid loves Something Special and Gigglebiz for that matter and it's one of the better kids TV progs out there - leave it alone.
Nothing like a good bile raising, coffee spluttering story to start the day.
Harrumph harrumph harrumph.
Sun pursues anti-beeb agenda
In other news "leaked documents reveal delivery address for Tesco online shopping order for 100 rolls of Andrex is Mrs B Bear, the big cave next to the trees, woody glade, the Forest."
From my understanding of the programme, the signing is in Makaton a simplified sign language for those with "learning difficulties" ie the sort MenCap looked out for.
Get it right!
"Happy" in Makaton is different to "Happy" in BSL: Something Special uses Makaton, so really it's a bit of a non-story on that front. (Besides, Makaton requires you to speak the words while signing them, and he's very clearly saying "Happy" ...)
And Humpty Dumpty still fell off the wall in the episode in question, Some MPs need to get their priorities right, I think.
Fail because the story's pretty rubbish in the first place, and because I've come to expect far better from this esteemed organ.
Sunlounger-dwelling bastards will howl
The Murdoch (Sun) and Curly (Daily Mail) organs are gifted another slightly non-story at the expense of the BBC.
That wording makes the whole affair sound like a disgusting bestial gay orgy.
Shocking. What *were* they thinking.
Paris, because she also made all the King's horses and men very happy.
I agree with Mr Harris, and I demand the return to TV of Tom and Jerry cartoons. The old proper ones, not those rubbish new ones.
Surley the HSE would be delighted about a TV program highligting the serios saftey issue of sitting on a wall and having a great fall ?
Are they going to start changing the news, just to get a happy ending?
I for once agree with him (I cannot believe myself... agree with an MP critter)
After dealing with a 7 year old crying for most of the evening as a result of listening to Puff the Magic Dragon I have to agree with him. Enough is f*** enough.
The current "positive thinking"/"political correctness" obsession has resulted in the majority of children growing up utterly unprepared for the fact that things in life do not necessarily have a happy ending. As a result once they reach the age when we can no longer hide it from them and life bitchslaps them left right a center a few times they end up emotionally scarred, lose empathy and ignore any of the principles that have been put into them using the "sugary intravenous drip".
That is how the yob is born.
"Let them see colourful and violent cartoons"
I sat down with my two year old yesterday and decided to try a bit of Tom and Jerry - in one episode:
- Jerry purposely leave a skate on the floor for Tom to trip over
- Tom being hit by a tram (twice)
- Tom being shut in the freezer
- Tom being shut in the oven
- Tom eating all the pills available in the medicine cabinet
After each of these events Tom was of course fine, but I sat there cringing about letting my son witness this stuff ... but then, I used to watch these cartoons when I was young and I'm OK ...
"The small change to Humpty Dumpty was for no other reason than being creative and entertaining."
If only they could apply this thought process to so much of the other naff content that the BBC churns out....
"Kids should be exposed to real life a bit"
Too right! In real life, Humpty is put back together on expenses and falls apart again when asked to pay it back.
isnt humpty numpty about a cannon?
(im having flashbacks from radio 4 agan)
Whilst I understand the indignation at changing the traditional rhyme just to please some PC happy individuals, not sure I'd call a talking egg, "real life" :-)
But yes, trivial though it may seem, lay off our nursery rhymes and fairy tales. Show the kids some gore.
It makes me [sic]
I hate quotes with [sic] in them at the best of times. What exactly is wrong with "cosseted away"?
As for the rest of it, that just makes me [sic]k!
We put the hump in Humpty
"All the king's horses and all the king's men made Humpty Dumpty happy again."
This gives me an idea for the Humpty Dumpty series of extreme porn films.
Won't someone please...
think of the children?
Old Tom and Jerry are much better
I agree with Bilgepipe Posted Monday 19th October 2009 10:32 GMT
My (1-5 yr old) kids love the old Tom and Jerry cartoons and will sit for hours entranced while they poison each other wirth household cleaning agents and acid, gouge each others eyes out and generally go mad.
Wife not amused but they have to learn about real life somewhere...
Go pick on a bad program!
my 4 year old think Mr Tumble is great and so do I ! so what if he gets tickled by a couple of ladies in bearskins who looks like they are enjoying it a little too much...
shall we turn the cannon on say... Popshop?
BBC Radio 7 too
CBeebies on BBC 7 would only ever play the first verse of Rolf Harris's "Two Little Boys".
Sadly for every one parent that believes their children should be exposed to the outside world so that they can learn to deal with it, there's one parent that thinks they need to lock their children away for their own safety, and there's one person that doesn't even have children, but feels the need to tell everyone how shocking it is, and stands up to complain for the sake all the children worldwide because it makes them feel better about the empty sad life that they must lead
What the Dickens...
Let me paraphrase Dickens:
... the wisdom of our ancestors
is in [it]; and my unhallowed hands
shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for.
it also troubles me what passes for being "creative" these days. It's not creative in a literary or cultural sense, only in a disturbing dishonest sense.
It's what we get with creative people who are afraid to be creative. They take something well known, and publish a changed version with the original name and hope that some of the original good-feeling rubs off on them.
I was this just as annoyed with BBCs last attempt at Wilkie Collins "Woman in White" which was actually a different story with the original characters. I wondered why the producer didn't just change the title and slap their name on as the author. [Answer: because no-one would have watched it]
Full Dickens quote below:
Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my
own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about
a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to
regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery
in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors
is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands
shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You
will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that
Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
"That is how the yob is born."
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.
Re: It makes me [sic]
You 'cosset', you don't 'cosset away'. It doesn't make sense.
Re: "That is how the yob is born."
>I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.
Hah, we really need to put that on a t-shirt, because it is almost always applicable.
RE: I for once agree with him (I cannot believe myself... agree with an MP critter)
Mate, seriously, get a grip.
They probably only did it that way because they couldn't figure out a good enough way to get Mr Tumble (Justin Fletcher) dressed up as Humpty Dumpty break into pieces and then have people attempt to put him back together.
I can imagine the conversation...
"How are we going to do this? We've only got 3 hours of studio time left and Blankety Blank like to get started early"
"There is no easy way, we just can't get him to break into pieces, who do you think we are anyway, Industrial Light and Magic?"
"We could just say 'and Humpty Dumpty is happy again' at the end and call it a day."
"Sorted, lets get going"
"Oh hang on, wait a minute, what about the social ramifications of portraying happy endings where ever possible, surly that will give our blessed children a false expectation of what life is about and cause them to become malcontent and yobbish in the long run"
Humpty != Egg
Can someone explain to me where this notion of Humtpy Dumpty being a human/egg hybrid comes from?
As far as I remember the Rhyme it doesn't specify anywhere his size, shape, colour or creed.
It is simply a cautionary tale that if you fall off a wall, don't expect to be able to be fixed!
Mind you - some of our MPs need shoving off walls...
...the connotation that ol' HD received a happy ending from a bunch of guys and horses could be an interesting thing to teach in schools...
May I propose that the verb 'to humpty' is used henceforth for all changes, modifications and edits to any story, particularly where it refers to some fabrication to protect the audience from an unfortunate truth? It would be a damned sight better than 'to sex up' which the media has developed a small obsession with since the Iraq war dossier debacle.
Unless of course the Ms. Bee sees fit to right royally humpty my suggestion.
How things change
back in the "good old days" (aka "about 10 years ago") Teletubbies used to feature in their "tubby-tv" segments a Jazz group playing versions of nursery rhymes ... one of them was humpty dumpty which ended with something along the lines of "someone go get a pan ... he's all scrambled eggs now man!"
@AC - "Puff"
Of course he cried - its a bleeding depressing song!
But for fun try this experiment:
Week 1 - write to the Sun complaining that a local school is censoring the bloody parts of famous stories for young children. Watch response
Week 2 - write to the Sun complaining that a local school is reading Heart of Darkness to youngsters. Watch response
Week 3 - write to Sun noting the dichotomy of the responses. See nothing happen
The original unix fortune file has a view on this...
If IIRC and to provide an IT angle for this story, the fortune file on Berkeley 4.2 UNIX contained a fortune that indicated that "Fairy Tales are scary stories designed to prepare children for the tv news".
I can't help but feel that as on many other occasions the fortune program had a more rational view on life than many a modern moralist.
leave justin alone
justin is the best thing on cbeebies. if some deaf parents can't tell the difference between makaton and british sign language, more the fool them. something special is not designed to tech british sign language to kids, but let everyone communicate. the sun are a bunch of no brained dim whits for the most part.
"Kids should be exposed to real life a bit"
Kids are very savvy, most can tell the difference between and egg and a human being, believe it or not! FFS!
My little 7 year old loves playing FPS shooters, when there's no one else there, simply wandering about a 3D computer landscape, you can't remove weapons but she knows it's all make believe and not real! She doesn't like the full gameplay, just the beautiful immersive 3D worlds in things like Cube2 and UT3. My missus was starting to get worried, but we did something radical! We all sat down and TALKED together to make sure we all understood that anything in computer games is only make-believe and not real. You can't get hurt and no one else gets hurt!
Just pretend! Just like a story about an egg falling off a wall, an egg, let's remember with arms and legs and some form of cognitive ability, that realises it's own mortality! FFS, you'd have to be on drugs to fully appreciate most of the nursery rhyme stories to their full degree!
Fucking do-gooders, think they know what's best again!
Give kid's some credit FFS!
Remember that in Lewis Carrol's "Alice in Wonderland" Humpty Dumpty says:
"When I use a word it means exactly what I want it to mean, nothing more, nothing less"
Very appropriate, methinks!
keyboard please !!
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