Legendary underground comic artist Robert Crumb has caused a bit of a stir with his illustrated Book of Genesis - complete with biblical rumpy-pumpy and "gratuitous" violence, as the Telegraph puts it. Lot seduced by his daughter, as depicted by Robert Crumb The book prompted Mike Judge of God botherers' "think-tank" the …
It seems to me that if your caption clearly indicates that the bloke is so drunk he doesn't know that he's having sex, it might make more sense to draw the woman on top.
Go into a fundamentalist evangelica house
Go into a fundie house, preferrably one with kids in their teens. carefully go with your finger across the side of the closed bible and try to locate the places where it is open most often. Open and guess what you will find...
So what's next on the agenda? It might be interesting to see if he could get away with interpretations of a few other religious texts. I must admit that the Koran was the first to spring to mind, but Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Jewish etc texts would probably be fun as well.
Of course he might want to find a safe house first, as one or two people might be a bit more upset about it than the Christians seem to be.
Needs some extra bits...
Where did Cain's wife come from, anyway?
What Mike Judge was really thinking.
Butthead: huh-huh-huh. Coool.
Beavis: Shuttup buttmunch, he's taking the lords name in vein.
Butthead: Oh yeah. What a dick.
Beavis: Wow! Boobs! Sweet.
Butthead: This is even better than when Mel Gibson played jesus.
Beavis: He didn't look like Braveheart in that movie....
Beavis: Shuttup douchbag, I'm trying to concentrate on the boobs.
Bible "contains real stories about real people."?
I think someone is confusing an eloborate religio-fundie fan-fic with Take A Break magazine.
There is no dark side of the moon...
'Refreshingly, though, other Christians are less concerned.' Regardless of the content of the article, that's an editorial opinion, prob best left for a blog aomewhere?
of the Conservative Bible Project
Odd choice of position
I'd always assumed that if Lot was too blotto to remember, his daughters must have ridden on top. In this version he just looks tired, rather than "tired and emotional".
Right on! Well done Crumb! A hero to all of us free-thinkers!
The bible is x-rated anyway! All that begetting going on! Violence? Smiting and turning people into pillar's of salt just for seeing something they shouldn't?
Its been done before
"Outrageous Tales From The Old Testament"; I think Neil Gaiman was one of the contributors; comic book retelling of a lot of those Old Testament tales. It was done pretty much straight from the bible and was certainly eye-opening if you haven't read some of the dodgier stuff in "the good book". The story of Jael and Sisera from the Book of Judges was particularly unpleasant as I recall.
Sex and violence in the OT...
Wow, seems on a par with "dog bites man"
The bible does have quite alot of behaviour illustrated*, not condoned. But read the bible if you want to read about some pretty poor behaviour.
It's not necessary to be so graphic* in your descriptions, if I need an image my brain is capable of providing one...
* Puns deliberatly left in place (A good pun is it's own reword)
@ AC 11:23
"It seems to me that if your caption clearly indicates that the bloke is so drunk he doesn't know that he's having sex, it might make more sense to draw the woman on top."
That wouldn't be the acceptable Missionary Position, then, would it?
Crumb's a bum!
I just thought I'd say that. However, the idea of an illustrated bible like that just might catch on! Anything that annoys the bible bashers is OK by me!
The Paris angle? Well, it has PICTURES, doesn't it?
Re artistic licence @AC
You can't have woman on top. The point of the man on top in the bible is that the woman is underneath... sort of asserting man's supposed superiority. It's one of the things that started off the jesus freak sexism in the first place.
RE: Artistic licence & Odd choice of position
Indeed - how about cowgirl and reverse cowgirl!
"It may surprise people but the bible does contain nudity, sex and violence. That's because it contains real stories about real people"
Yep, the first "real person" has a wife that's made from his own rib. Does that make her a "real person"? What about all the bits with the sky-fairy and how he is (inexplicably) pissed off at everyone except the Israelites - despite the assertion that he made all of them too.
Most the old testament can pretty much be summed up by "God killed everyone except us." or "God enabled us to kill an entire nation - yay!". That's genocide, so presumably if the story is true and Jehova is a "real person", the UN will by trying him for war crimes.
Ah, come on!
You know why the religious bunch don't like it - they don't actually WANT people to read the Bible. How many who have been told the story of Sodom and Gomorrah knew Lot offered up his daughters for rape, or that they couldn't be bothered to walk a few miles to the nearest city so they took turns shagging their dad? Just about none me thinks. Nope, all they knew was that Lot's wife looked over her shoulder and got turned into a pillar of salt. Lucky escape for the wife by the sounds of things given the shenanigans of Lot and his daughters.
Ever read the 10 Commandments? Both versions? Do you really think kids should be executed for bad-mouthing their parents? Thought not. Was God acting like a bit of a tw*t when he drowned all of those men, women and children as well as all those innocent animals? Of course he was. Gentle Jesus meek and mild? Try again. Revelations? Too many reefers if you ask me.
Anyone who has read it from cover to cover and truly considered what they had just read will usually realise it's a load of rubbish. The Bible is more than capable of talking you out of religion, but giving you pictures as well means even the poorly educated (not to mention the TV generation) will get a good idea what the hell was REALLY going on.
@Paul Hates Handles
Your ideas interest me, and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter. Could you backdate my subscription to the edition which provides some justification for your theory that "the man [is] on top in the bible"?
@ Lonesome Twin
Actually, given that at least two other christians were quoted saying as much, it's a demonstrable fact. Clearly "other christians" means "some other" - I imagine the Reg is unlikely to have polled all of them...
Reminds me of when Life of Brian came out
"I haven't seen the book but..."
"I haven't seen the film but..."
"I'm acting on a completely uninformed knee-jerk reaction but..."
have any of these fundies....
....Actually read the Old Testament ? As an aetheist, I actually have, and a more vegeance ridden, blood soaked, bonk buster would be hard to imagine...... All that begat-ing
re: There is no dark side of the moon...
A good number of news articles on El Reg (particularly in the bootnotes section) include such editiorial opinion by the writers. I can't say I'm always crazy about this myself, but would say that this is part of El Reg's in-house style; I suspect that despite saying "regardless of the content of the article," it was exactly that which made you comment.
I can tell that the reg is to worried to allow the christians to post an amusing snide comment at another religion :/
your PC crowd out in force today ?? or worried about retribution from a readers comment.
AC cause i f'ing can
meh now i am annoyed
"So what's next on the agenda? It might be interesting to see if he could get away with interpretations of a few other religious texts. I must admit that the Koran was the first to spring to mind, but Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Jewish etc texts would probably be fun as well."
Umm, the old testament part of the bible was claimed by the Jews long before it became a Christian book.
I think it would be a brave person who did one of the Koran though, after the what happened in Holland with a few cartoons.
Re artistic licence @AC
Also, Noah certainly KNEW that he was having sex - a completely drunk man (even if not elder) could hardly "perform"... he was just the first to use booze as excuse for inadequate behavior. ;-)
@ Matt Newton
Nicely said, hahah
Re: what's next
Last I looked, Jews had the book of Genisis as well. (albit not a King James authorized translation)
Oh - I rejected that comment because it wasn't especially amusing and was barely coherent.
Also, AC (whose name I can still see, if you didn't know) I'm not sure if you meant to call me a moron in another thread but consider it a strike if you did. (If you didn't, well, you need to work on your grammar.)
Now if you'll excuse me there are 152 comments in the queue.
Re: AC "Jehova, war-crimes"
Re: Re: hmphfff
"Also, AC (whose name I can still see, if you didn't know) ..."
Mmm, and *even* if you've never registered, The Moderatrix still knows all. Wacky Jacqui's got nothing on Sadistic Sarah.
Webster Cook could tell you how well Christians take perceived insults to their faith.
"It is turning the Bible into titillation. It seems wholly inappropriate for what is essentially God's rescue plan for mankind."
I'll come back to write a comment after I stop laughing.
OK, I'm back
"Where did Cain's wife come from, anyway?"
That's easy. He was a mofo. Or sisfo, maybe? Oh well, I have read Christians openly accepting the inevitability of incest due to the simple fact that Cain had no one else to have his kids with...
152 comments on queue!? Sheesh... far from me inflating that even more, then.
Re: Re: Re: hmphfff
"...avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith Sarah Bee ...."
Be afraid, be very afraid, etc, etc.
That's your Lot. Pass the Salt Wife....
Yes, the 10 commandments are my favourite bit of the OT: "Which 10 commandments do you mean?" Hilarious.
He just gave them what they asked for
Quote: "The Bible is a very important text to many many people and should be treated with the respect it deserves."
Isn't that exactly what the esteemed Mr Crumb has done?
I've been grinning over this all afternoon.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, but Crumb could do this one justice!
I know what I'm giving my fundie brother in law for Christmas; if I'm lucky he'll stop talking^Wpreaching at me every time I see him ...
I can't wait to see what Crumb does with Gen. 1.1+ v.s. Gen 2.4+ :-)
Not the first illustrated camp bible
The Reverend Brendan Powell Smith already plumbed this well some years ago in 'The Brick Testament' only with litttle plastic figures doing naughty things.
Faith is making a virtue out of not thinking right - so not only do they not want their "faith" offended, but they're also encouraging _NOT_READING_ something which is evidently based on the original source text and presented in a way that the proles can understand (with pictures, as the old book is a bit wordy)...
And here people who like to think of the bible as some puritanical nonsense get offended by this?!? These are people who obviously haven't read the various morally abhorrent and horrifically bloody stories that make up a good portion of it. Child abuse, rape, torture, murder, enslavement, genocide (is genocide OK if it was God?) the list goes on and on and on.... Read yer bible folks!
"Jesus Saves" - whatever!
nope wasnt you the comment was directed was directed at, should of put quotes around his comment. soz
yeah about writing coherently on monday mornings is not one of my strong points.
i live with it
actually make that most mornings
Next from R Crumb....
Can't wait to see his version of the Koran. "And the trees cried, Oh servant of Allah, there is a Jew hiding behind us. Go forth and kill him." Sounds like fun for the entire family. Let's see if he has the brass balls to do it (Unlike the creator of South Park, who ran scared of the Moose-lems).
Kissing and fighting
The Old Testament is full of kissing and fighting, shagging and killing, just like life. Which seems to make it more credible to me rather than less....
The cautious reviewers are saying "if Crumb misrepresented or abused the text for gratuitous sex and violence, then that is bad"
The welcoming reviewers are saying "if Crumb has accurately illuminated the text and retold it faithfully, then that is good"
"Can't wait to see his version of the Koran. "And the trees cried, Oh servant of Allah, there is a Jew hiding behind us. Go forth and kill him." Sounds like fun for the entire family."
You know what's weird? I thought that sounded interesting so I went off and googled it. But it turns out that that's not from the Koran but a hadith i.e. not the Koran but an interpretation or commentary. And then the other odd thing is that the only places to carry that quotation are frothingly mental anti-Islamic sites/forums...and wikipedia, quoting a frothingly mental anti-Islamic site.
Would it be possible to source that quotation with a bit more precision on where it came from, anonymous coward? There's surely enough ridiculous nonsense sprinkled throughout ancient religious texts and modern anti-Semitic nonsense without anyone needing to make up more...right?
If you're going to pick a fight
It may as well be with the most illogical and reactionary person in the room. Nice to see the Torygraph wearing its sad little heart on its sleeve.
@Tim Greenwood, I did have a try at this a few years ago with a less than totally reverent, East Londonised version of the Ramayana, sadly never produced, but fun to write.
Oh these Relig-0-tards do make one smile
What an imagination they have.
Who else follows a 2000* year old guidebook?
* or there abouts.
I have it on good authority
(from his agent) that Robert Crumb intended to, essentially, use artistic license to make a version based on vaguely rewritten OT, but when he sat down to draw it, he realised he didn't need to - the OT was already sufficiently graphic etc.
The drawings are, indeed, intended to be an accurate representation of the text.
- Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM
- 'Windows 9' LEAK: Microsoft's playing catchup with Linux
- Boffins say they've got Lithium batteries the wrong way around
- Game Theory Half a BILLION in the making: Bungie's Destiny reviewed
- Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer