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back to article Oz driver prangs ute during 'amorous activities'

An Oz woman suspected of having caused a 33-year-old man to prang his ute has strenuously denied she was administering him oral pleasure at the time of the crash. According to the Northern Territory News, police believe "amorous activities" were behind the crash last week in Humpty Doo*, in which the driver of a Toyota Hilux was …

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Anonymous Coward

Red mark

I would say that the red mark across her chest suggest that it was indeed worn, but she was not sitting in the, ahem... approved manor. It rather implies that it was already under tension across her upper chest, such as you might expect if she was leaning over. This resulted in it pulling to hard on her skin upon impact, causing the bruising.

Your honour, I rest my case.

Now, can I go next?

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Anonymous Coward

Well....

.....he'd have to be pretty drunk wouldn't he - looking at the pictures of her!

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Thumb Up

Excellent caption

On the link to the local rag:

"BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION"

Classy. I love Australia.

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Paris Hilton

Humpty Doo

Brilliant, perfect Friday afternoon story!

Just checking out the 'girls' via my phone rather than through the proxy!

Paris - well, duh...

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Silver badge
Thumb Down

Standard issue story for...

The Northern Territory News.... yawn

Normally it's just monster Crocs!

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Pint

Charges.

According to ntnews, 'He was charged with drink-driving after blowing'

Surely that should be 'during'?

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Ugh

Update to my previous comment: Don't bother following the link, she's a minger.

Although to be fair, the newspaper captioning the picture with "BLOWN OUT OF ALL PROPORTION" deserved a mention!

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Paris Hilton

boobies boobies boobies

...Pity about the face though

Paper bag icon?

Paris for obvious reasons.

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Coat

according to the link

"He was charged with drink-driving after blowing .147, driving without due care and driving without a licence."

They haven't proved the blowing.

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Coffee/keyboard

Jesus!

Looking at the picture, the poor bastard was probably trying to jump out of the car when he lost control!! And he probably had the drink afterwards, attempting to block the memory of that hideous creature lunging at his nether regions.

A crash into an immovable concrete object would FAR less likely to produce nightmares ....*shudder*

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Blowjobs and cars...

The World According To Garp put me off this idea for life. Yikes.

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Coat

Obvious

I would make an airbag joke.

I needn't bother.

Perhaps a gear stick joke?

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Thumb Up

Minging.

But I guess you have to get it however, and where ever you can.

Still, top marks to the girl for saying it as it needed to be said.

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Law
Paris Hilton

Oh yeah...

ITS FRIDAY!!!! :D

Incidentally, I may have to sue for crimes against my laptop - the poor thing almost self-destructed following the link to her pic... :'(

Paris, because she's a classy lady too

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erm...

'I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs '....

Just one of the very strange things about this story....

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Coat

not a BJ

Not a blowjob then a hand job. She has a point about the shoulder strap burn it wouldn't have gotten there if she'd be going down on him.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Ugh

I bet you're just as pretty as a picture, Dan 10.

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Paris Hilton

I know I asked this before on a similar report, but...

...seriously, is this an Australian thing, or do all the reports that El Reg picks up about people wrecking their cars while masturbating, giving head, etc. all just happen to have been from Australia?

I've seen so many reports on the Reg of Australian guys wrecking their cars while...uh, "cracking one off", that it's gotten to where it's not news at all anymore -- kind of like IE security exploits.

I realize that Australia has lots of flat stretches of desert with long, straight highways -- kind of like Arizona, New Mexico, west Texas -- where long trips can get really boring, but, seriously, folks... what's up with all the DWM?

Any Australians here care to chime in on this? Inquiring minds, etc.

(Paris, because, baby, she can drive my car, beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah.)

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IT Angle

So this is IT related how?

So a story about some woman who may or may not have been giving a blowjob is IT related, but the Movie industries suing of an Australian ISP for allowing copyright infringement using bittorrent isn't?

As for Humpty Doo, we've got plenty more funny names where that came from down here in the antipodes. Like Humpybong, Inaloo, Yorkeys Knob, Rooty Hill, and Tittybong, not to mention Woy Woy, Wee Waa, Useless Loop, Nowhere Else, Smiggin Holes, Boing Boing, and Orange to name but a handful.

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Asterisks suck

or should that be ****! "****ing" can only be read as sucking right? cause using the "F" word doesn't really make sense. So why all the astericks?

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Anonymous Coward

Never mind,

just saw the article about Oz media court case.

As you where!

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: So this is IT related how?

It's in bloody Bootnotes for chrissakes, it's not supposed to be IT-related. Have a nice day.

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Re: Ugh

Sarah, he probably isn't as pretty, he won't have the boobs to distract people. And if he did, that's even more terrifying.

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Megaphone

Re: So this is IT related how?

There was probably a mobile phone in the truck, now STFU and leave the rest of us alone to enjoy a Friday afternoon in peace, you miserable bastard.

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Terminator

Picture, please

I am unable to make a fair judgment on this as we've not seen what the bloke looks like.

I would also suspect that many of the males here who have commented on the woman's appearance are not exactly pin-ups either and would, in truth (and lack of activity), jump at the chance. (given that most IT 'experts' are insular, acne-marked and lard-arsed).

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Pint

Munter

Where's me beer goggles?

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Bootnotes

I see nothing about boots nor indeed notes in this story. Surely it should be in "odds and sods".

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Joke

One wonders

just how she knows that $5 is cheap for a blowjob....

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Unhappy

title

Shame about the asterisks. I guess we'll never know what she really said.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Flame

Hmmm...

Looking at the picture, I can now understand why Australian Sheep look so nervous.

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That Mark

Would suggest to me that she was leaning over to the side when the accident happened... It's at an odd angle.

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beer goggles

Well, the article did mention he was impaired.

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Dead Vulture

Lose the Asterisks

"I was not ****ing his ****', insists female passenger"

is this The Puritan or The Register? Lose the asterisks.

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Coat

$5 Between the "girls"

Its obvious she had only tucked the note there for a few moments whilst she got the £4 dollars change out of her purse!

Mines the one with $5 note in the pocket!

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Joke

I'm surprised no one else has said this yet but...

Playmobil or it didn't happen!

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FAIL

@self

/£/\\$/

text text text, there happy now?

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Anonymous Coward

It's never made me crash before...

...but even if I wasn't it the car at the time I might just go out and crash one after being on the receiving end of a ****job from that!

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Grenade

@Re: Ugh

It makes no difference what the commenters look like. She's ugly even at .145 BAC.

That being said this story is why i keep reading El Reg (also some IT stuff, but that's secondary ^^).

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WTF?

Humpty Doo, eh?

Got stranded there once for the best part of a week when the head gasket went on the camper van. Never thought I'd hear the name again now I'm back in England and it then turns up in the Reg! Thought I'd got to meet just about everyone there - funny lot - but don't remember that face. Her story sounds about right, I'd say - probably perfectly innocent.

Oh, and the place with the funniest name I toured in Oz was '1770' in Qld. Vaguely recall it gets listed amongst the S's in the road atlas, though sometimes referred to as 'Town of 1770'

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FAIL

nasty buggers

I've seen a whole lot let pretty and a lot uglier men, so all you whingers out there.... ODFO.

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In other words

It was a topless handjob and matey reached over for a grab and crashed his pickup.

Love the 'BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION' too :)

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Anonymous Coward

It gets better

This story just keeps on giving. Check out the ad.

http://fs3.teradepot.com/i/00010/rnctnw9wizl0.jpg

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Badgers

@AC 16:47

Its a direct quote from the Northern Territory News thats linked in the article....

Though frankly I never thought the Australians were that squeamish about using good old fashioned Anglo Saxon. Certainly the young lady they (Partially) quoted wasn't

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Paris Hilton

@AC and to help Sarah

"So a story about some woman who may or may not have been giving a blowjob is IT related"

The IT industry would not exist if it were not for the film version of the blow job - so say thank you to west hollywood.

PH - cause she made her own version of IT bandwidth usage.

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Paris Hilton

@Mike Flugennock

"Any Australians here care to chime in on this? Inquiring minds, etc."

It beats listening to rap and it's safer than texting.

Paris, because what else?

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FAIL

next time, pull over...

when you intend to give someone a stomach massage...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gillian_Taylforth

"In January 1994 Taylforth was involved in a high-profile court case when she sued The Sun newspaper for libel after they ran a story claiming she and Knights had performed sexual acts on an M25 slip road in their Range Rover. Taylforth claimed that her partner had suffered an acute attack of pancreatitis and she was merely massaging his stomach to soothe his abdominal pain; however, a police officer claimed that she was performing fellatio instead. "

well that's what she still claims she was doing...

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Coat

Reconstruction

We need some Bones/CSI style CGI reconstruction...

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