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back to article iPhone saves woman from bear

An woman in America has survived a potentially deadly bear attack thanks to a knife a handgun first-class hunting skills her iPhone. The bear facts are these. Earlier this summer, Kris Rowley, Chief Information Security Officer for the State of Vermont, was hiking through one of the region’s woodlands when a bear began following …

COMMENTS

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Jobs Halo

JesusPhone Saves!

That's all.

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Joke

Apple

So bears also believe an Apple a Day keeps the Vet away

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Anonymous Coward

I can imagine the bear

RAAAAW I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR FLESH AND CRUNCH YOUR BONES GROWL oh look at that an iphone.

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Joke

Best to play dead

When faced with bears^H^H^H^H^H Apple Employees.

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FAIL

Surely there's an app for that?

There's an app for just about everything.

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Thumb Down

Missed Opportunity

She should have set the video record on prior to throwing it... top YouTube video then...

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Gold badge
Coat

Uh oh..

.. we now have an iBear.

iGroan..

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Joke

Bears are scavengers

and will eat anything sweet, including apparently an Apple.

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Following the correct advice

Seem to recall from visits to Yosemite and similar places in the past the park authorities give guidance on what to do if approached by bears/mountain lions etc ... of course, the primary advice is to keep your distance but if they are approaching then the advice is not to run away but instead "act agressively" and throwing things at them is recommended (though, when I was last there 10 years ago the idea of throwing iPhones was not considered and instead stones were suggested)

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Joke

I can see the adverts now

"....being chased by a bear, stalker, freak, mental outpatient, escaped convict, Ex-MP scrounging for money?"

"Need a quick distraction?"

"Theres an app for that."

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Bronze badge
Linux

Or did it just get frustrated by the interface?

Title says it all.

PS - penguins are more ferocious than bears

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Jobs Halo

There's an App for that

Wiki - How to escape from a Bear!

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Jobs Horns

Brick

I imagine if you chuck ANY brick sized object at a bear it's going to think twice about attacking.

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Clippy?

WinMo phone - "It looks like you're trying to eat a human - would you like help with that?"

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Anonymous Coward

am I bearish?

I'd annihilate an iPhone as well but never keep it.

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Happy

There's an app for that...

Presumably your iPhone could emit a high pitched tone that bears find objectionable?

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Bronze badge

Behind the times

Most competing phones not only distract bears but also parrots and particularly aggressive silverfish too.

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Bear Attention Deficit Disorder?

RAR!! ... ooh shiney!

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Law
Flame

what?!

No explosion?!?! Surely not...

Flames... just because.

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Silver badge
Flame

Well...

...at least the bear had the good sense to render the iPhone useless (well more useless than it already was).

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Joke

Can't be a real Apple fan though

otherwise the story would read she throw herself at the bear to save the iPhone

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Flame

Well

it had to be good for SOMETHING!

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Silver badge

Want to escape from a bear? We have an app for that.

Did she fire up any programs before throwing it, like a duck call? Mmmm, crunchy duck.

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Jobs Halo

Ursine defecation

What I want to know is, when the bear went in the woods afterwards did it shit a rainbow, or was the face of St Jobs visible in the excreta?

Just imagine if the turd became a fossilised coprolite - Jobs on a jobbie for all eternity...

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Thumb Down

Throw my hugely overpriced status symbol

or perhaps a rock, or a stick?

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Jobs Horns

I wonder...

What app did she run to provide sufficient distraction..?

Surely there's a developer opportunity here...

"Need to distract a dangerous animal intent on killing and devouring you?

There's an app for that!"

Is there nothing the iPhone can't do?!

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Jobs Horns

Clearly not a fangirl...

Otherwise she'd have set the phone aside and gladly thrown herself at the bear.

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OK I am holding a book

time of the first

Bear attack theres an app for that comment

Or someother such nonsense

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Jobs Halo

Apple refused to replace it for free...

Well imagine my surprise. You can see it can't you?

Genius: How did this happen to your iPhone?

Girl: I chucked it at a hungry bear!

Genius: I'm pretty sure the standard warranty won't cover that.

Girl: What?! I think that's totally unfair!

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Anonymous Coward

The bear had more sense than the iPhone dealer...

"her local Apple store allegedly refused to replace the damaged device for free"

And passed up the best PR/advertising chance in how long? Chuffers!!

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Alert

Bear interview

Interviewing the bear, it said while it initially enjoyed using the iPhone the time it took to download and install apps got it so frustrated that it mangled the phone while prodding it to make it work quicker..

It later said that apple was bearphobic for not producing a touchscreen suitable for bears' talons

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Badgers

clearly

Bear : what's this, it's so shiney.

Woman : phew I'm saved

Bear : my fingers are too fat for this online keyboard, I can't get a decent signal out here and wait.. my wifes status is set to what on facebook?

Rip, tear stomp

Woman : wow this will make a good news story

Apple : careface, buy another one iTard

Woman : ok

I don't live anywhere near bears but I think if I did a quick patdown would reveal mace and dead squirrels (bears use them for toilet paper) before it revealed a mobile phone.

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Paris Hilton

@Andy 70

Hey! I take offense to OH what's for breakfast?

Paris, NOT recommended a part of a complete breakfast.

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throwing iphone vs rock/stick

Maybe she was expecting the phone to explode? In that case the iphone would be like lobbing a hand grenade. Add that to your list of truly *amazing* things that the iphone can do.

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Coffee/keyboard

re: I can imagine the bear

You owe me one keyboard...

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Grenade

TP, mace and hand grenades?

"I don't live anywhere near bears but I think if I did a quick patdown would reveal mace and dead squirrels (bears use them for toilet paper) before it revealed a mobile phone."

What, you mean they don't use Charmin??? Damn corporations have been lying to us again!!

Not sure what would be worse either, a bear eating you or a bear spraying you with mace, THEN eating you. I suppose they keep it for self-defense in case some random weirdo tries to pat them down. ;-)

"Maybe she was expecting the phone to explode? In that case the iphone would be like lobbing a hand grenade."

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch^WCupertino?

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WTF?

@Jeremy Chappell

Thanks for saying what i was thinking. How the hell did she expect that to be covered under warranty?

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Well...

I live in an area where encountering bears is not unheard of. During certain times of the year, and in certain areas, hikers are advised to carry/wear jingle bells (yeah, the holiday kind), as the noise will keep bears away most of the time - not being a "natural" sound and all that.

They say you can tell brown/grizzly bear scat from black bear scat because the brown/grizzly bear's poo has little jingle bells in it. I guess it's got iPhones in it now, too.

But, surely any Vermont state official, who hikes in bear country, should have known that.

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WTF?

That said...

I have to agree with the earlier poster. Why was she expecting that her warranty would cover throwing the phone at a bear, when it doesn't even cover dropping it. I have dropped far more items, and far more frequently, than I have thrown at bears. If going in for a warranty replacement seemed a reasonable expectation, she should no longer be working for any government office.

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Happy

@AC - "app for that"

.... still p155ing myself laughing...

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Joke

Insurance cover

You'd have thought she would have had at least the "bear" minimum insurance cover on her iPhone!

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Anonymous Coward

iPhone is the new Coke

My company is about to start selling the iPhone, and we were discussing demo units. My boss remarked 'What do we need demo units for, you could take an iPhone to a tribe somewhere that had never seen a white man before, and they would know what it was and how to use it' :-) :-)

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