back to article Yank slams El Reg 'zio-fruitcake' Playmobil 'crap'

It's with heavy hearts that we report this crisp autumnal Friday that our world-beating Playmobil coverage has not gone down too well in one corner of the good old US of A. Specifically, one Yank has objected somewhat to this shock exposé of what happens if you try to get through security at Heathrow's T5 wearing a Transformers …

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WTF?

BASIC

10 Goto Satan

20 Goto 10

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FAIL

I apologize

I apologize for my misguided countryman. Seems we have a disproportionately high number of crazy people in this country. To be fair it all started with Them That Came From Across The Pond With Buckles On Their Hats (see: Crazy Religious British People). Just went downhill from there I'm afraid.

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Bronze badge

disapointed

no CAPS

no foul language !!

we have to try harder to piss people off

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Black Helicopters

Lol

Perhaps a crazy redneck yankie doodle...

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Badgers

Zio-fruitcake?

What the hell is a Zio-fruitcake? Google is not helpful; only a handful of references and half of them are references to this story, the other half are blocked by the company firewall.

Can't find anything on baking forums, either...

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Anonymous Coward

we were wondering what cakes to get today

zio-fruitcakes - wonder if they have any left in the shop

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NB
Heart

wtf

wtf is a 'zio'-fruitcake? it sounds delicious!

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What the fuck

Is a Zio fruitcake?

Is Zio some American brand or something?

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Yeah!

Right on! It's not as if Iran just admitted to having lots more nuclear...

Oh wait.

Never mind.

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WTF?

Java

public class Satan { public Satan() { new Satan(); } }

Apologies for the single line class; El Reg code formatter is buggered...

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Happy

Can I have a zio-fruitcake icon please

That is one that i would really like to post!

I've always wanted to be one of those

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Black Helicopters

wow

it only took him 16 months to come up with that.

i think the zio = zionist. I bet everyone's fave tinfoil hat wearer, alex jones, uses it.

actually I get it, the reg is part of the NWO. it all makes sense now.

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Java - another one...

public class Me { public void getTheeBehind() { new Me().getTheeBehind(); } }

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Grenade

Zio...

...nist?

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Anonymous Coward

Does it come...

with sprinklings and a cherry on top? :)

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Boffin

Easy

Zio-fruitcake? Easy to explain. It's a fruitcake that after being sold, yearns to go back to its shelf. Finally, it makes its escape and goes back to the baker's, alas, to find that the brownies have moved in to settle at its shelf. And so starts the conflict, still unresolved after many food fights and UN Security Council resolutions.

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WTF?

Only a small change needed

C'mon people - change "zio" to "zion"

Now it makes slightly more sense. A bit.

Tim

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Alien

zionist tea cakes

I *think* its a half arsed attempt to call the reg zionists

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The clue

Use of the word "satan" indicates a half-crazy relio-zio-zealot type.

Stay well clear.

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Coat

I think it's a bit like this one

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A830341

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Silver badge

Clearly ...

Clearly, Mr. Tom Lowe of Anytown, USA just doesn't get it.

ElReg's ground breaking reporting of four months ago showed the entire WORLD where the WMDs were, and yet sadly the facts were ignored. It was obvious to all who observed the situation that the missing WMDs were actually temporarily housed in the UK, and being transported via an International Airline to a HoldingFacilitySomewhereElse by rogue baggage handlers. Where the WMDs actually wound up after NorthAtlantic security folks dropped the ball is anyone's guess.

Me, I'll just sit here with a single malt, a slice of fruitcake and a bit of Wensleydale, and allow all the horror to wash over me until I burst into a fit of giggles.

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Hmm

According to Google, Zio is an Italian restaurant, so I'll have a large slice of that fruitcake purlease!

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Alien

AManFromMars - where are you?

Perhaps AManFromMars can translate this?

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zio...

zionist?

B.

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Coat

Hmmm...

Would it be Kosher to eat Zio-fruitcakes?

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Bronze badge

More than that,

you're also crypto-radishes and your mothers were nebulous firetrucks.

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Grenade

Re: What the fuck

Probably one of those new substitute foods made of the same tasteless crap (soya) they've been putting into bread to make it taste like cardboard. No GM ingredients, natch. Soya raisins does sort of make you wonder if there's anything they can't make the crap into, though. Oh, wait, tasty food. Of course...

Edible grenade. It's made of soya protein. Follow the instructions in the alt tag.

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Joke

Zio

Round where I work (Villeneuve d'Ascq, near Lille), Zio is the name of a pizza/pasta eat-in/take-out restaurant. I guess that means that he's talking about pizza-flavoured fruitcake, or maybe fruitcake-flavoured pasta, neither of which sounds particularly appetising.

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Zio

For all those who're wondering, I believe "zio-" is a reference to "zionist".

However, it shows a poor grasp of logic. Zionists are militaristic/security-minded, and the reg hates militaristic security nightmare theatre.

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WTF?

Norman Bates

I bet he wrote that email whilst wearing one of his mum's nighties. I also bet he looks like "Farmer" from "The Cottage".

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Anonymous Coward

awesome

Sounds like one of yer typical Yew Nine Ted Nayshuns/Black Helicopters/WTC conspiracy fearing heavily armed racist inbreds.. God bless America, these people are allowed to vote, no wonder there's no socialised healthcare, such a plague of religiousity and other nonsense. "Barking" seems to be a valid lifestyle choice.

Still, look out, here come the Liberals, they're the dangerous ones here.

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Alert

WARNING!

Zio-fruitcake ~ may contain traces of Kashrut nuts

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Alert

Fruitcakes

I love fruitcakes. I wonder if Playmobil make one as an accessory? If not, perhaps you could rob one off the Sylvanian Families.

Zionist fruitcakes are a special treat jewish boys get from their momma if they're good.

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@Mountford D

Only if you get the syntax right ;-)

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Gates Horns

Tom Lowe - Further meditations

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCvkatCGNFY

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@grandvizier

No wonder about the italian resto --- zio means uncle (like tio in spanish)

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Anonymous Coward

Zio-Prop sounds like the sort of thing

they put in yoghurt to make your digestive transit easier

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@AC from 10:35

"Does it come... with sprinklings and a cherry on top? :)"

I want sprinkles!!

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/10/sorry-you-cant-have-any.html

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Anonymous Coward

Kya??

He'll be one of those swivel-eyed backwoods nutters, nervously polishing his arsenal and muttering about the "gubmint' conspiracy and how he got half his brain shot out in 'Nam to anyone who can manage to listen for 13 seconds before entering a persistent vegetative state. Don't think Obama, don't think "change", just think Dubya, God and the red bits between the left and right coasts, where all without webbed fingers and a thing for their sister abandon hope on entry.

Satan rules, fruitcakes (non-zio) rule, red-staters FOAD.

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WTF?

Maybe...

I guess he means Zionist Fruitcake? Which still doesn't make any more sense

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Coat

Zio-fruitcakes on special offer.

They're 2 for 1 at Morrisons until Sunday when they're changing the offer to 33% off Islama-nutbars and Christi-fruitloops.

Mine's the one with the religious intolerance shopping list in the pocket.

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Technology, eh?

I didn't know you could get t'internet 30ft underground below a security compond 50 miles from nowhere in Montana.

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Must be

Must be a trial patient for Clinical Humour Bypass surgery. A roaring success, by the look of things.

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zio

was he not one of the bad guys in an animie?

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Pint

@Marvin the Martian

Thank you for the translation!

So if Zio = Uncle, Zio Fruitcake = Uncle Fruitcake.

Is he saying the Reg is related to Mr. Kipling, then?

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Stop

Doesn't count!

This clearly cannot qualify for a FoTW. One of the rules quite clearly states "Do not reread your flame". This douchebag has apparently been working on this for the best part of 4 months. Even with his remarkably lower-than-average IQ, I can't help but feel he probably reviewed it at least once.

Without standards, there's nothing left!!

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WTF?

Hmm

Maybe the poor, misguided soul thinks the "WMD Tehran" was supposed to be *dropped* on Tehran, due to the likelihood of Zionists doing it? I dunno....

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lie

sounds like a guy who posted on a forum of mine.

"i can sum evolution up in 3 words.

Evolution is a lie"

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Ahem, last one...

public class Satan extends AnthropomorphicPersonification implements Beast, DestroyerOfWorlds, Antichrist { int getNumber() { return 666; } }

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PlayMobil not "real news reportage"?

I'm shocked. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Lowe.

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