disapointed
no CAPS
no foul language !!
we have to try harder to piss people off
Yank slams El Reg 'zio-fruitcake' Playmobil 'crap'
It's with heavy hearts that we report this crisp autumnal Friday that our world-beating Playmobil coverage has not gone down too well in one corner of the good old US of A. Specifically, one Yank has objected somewhat to this shock exposé of what happens if you try to get through security at Heathrow's T5 wearing a Transformers …
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I apologize
I apologize for my misguided countryman. Seems we have a disproportionately high number of crazy people in this country. To be fair it all started with Them That Came From Across The Pond With Buckles On Their Hats (see: Crazy Religious British People). Just went downhill from there I'm afraid.
Zio-fruitcake?
What the hell is a Zio-fruitcake? Google is not helpful; only a handful of references and half of them are references to this story, the other half are blocked by the company firewall.
Can't find anything on baking forums, either...
we were wondering what cakes to get today
zio-fruitcakes - wonder if they have any left in the shop
What the fuck
Is a Zio fruitcake?
Is Zio some American brand or something?
Yeah!
Right on! It's not as if Iran just admitted to having lots more nuclear...
Oh wait.
Never mind.
Java
public class Satan { public Satan() { new Satan(); } }
Apologies for the single line class; El Reg code formatter is buggered...
Can I have a zio-fruitcake icon please
That is one that i would really like to post!
I've always wanted to be one of those
wow
it only took him 16 months to come up with that.
i think the zio = zionist. I bet everyone's fave tinfoil hat wearer, alex jones, uses it.
actually I get it, the reg is part of the NWO. it all makes sense now.
Java - another one...
public class Me { public void getTheeBehind() { new Me().getTheeBehind(); } }
Easy
Zio-fruitcake? Easy to explain. It's a fruitcake that after being sold, yearns to go back to its shelf. Finally, it makes its escape and goes back to the baker's, alas, to find that the brownies have moved in to settle at its shelf. And so starts the conflict, still unresolved after many food fights and UN Security Council resolutions.
Only a small change needed
C'mon people - change "zio" to "zion"
Now it makes slightly more sense. A bit.
Tim
zionist tea cakes
I *think* its a half arsed attempt to call the reg zionists
The clue
Use of the word "satan" indicates a half-crazy relio-zio-zealot type.
Stay well clear.
I think it's a bit like this one
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A830341
Clearly ...
Clearly, Mr. Tom Lowe of Anytown, USA just doesn't get it.
ElReg's ground breaking reporting of four months ago showed the entire WORLD where the WMDs were, and yet sadly the facts were ignored. It was obvious to all who observed the situation that the missing WMDs were actually temporarily housed in the UK, and being transported via an International Airline to a HoldingFacilitySomewhereElse by rogue baggage handlers. Where the WMDs actually wound up after NorthAtlantic security folks dropped the ball is anyone's guess.
Me, I'll just sit here with a single malt, a slice of fruitcake and a bit of Wensleydale, and allow all the horror to wash over me until I burst into a fit of giggles.
Hmm
According to Google, Zio is an Italian restaurant, so I'll have a large slice of that fruitcake purlease!
AManFromMars - where are you?
Perhaps AManFromMars can translate this?
More than that,
you're also crypto-radishes and your mothers were nebulous firetrucks.
Re: What the fuck
Probably one of those new substitute foods made of the same tasteless crap (soya) they've been putting into bread to make it taste like cardboard. No GM ingredients, natch. Soya raisins does sort of make you wonder if there's anything they can't make the crap into, though. Oh, wait, tasty food. Of course...
Edible grenade. It's made of soya protein. Follow the instructions in the alt tag.
Zio
Round where I work (Villeneuve d'Ascq, near Lille), Zio is the name of a pizza/pasta eat-in/take-out restaurant. I guess that means that he's talking about pizza-flavoured fruitcake, or maybe fruitcake-flavoured pasta, neither of which sounds particularly appetising.
Zio
For all those who're wondering, I believe "zio-" is a reference to "zionist".
However, it shows a poor grasp of logic. Zionists are militaristic/security-minded, and the reg hates militaristic security nightmare theatre.
Norman Bates
I bet he wrote that email whilst wearing one of his mum's nighties. I also bet he looks like "Farmer" from "The Cottage".
awesome
Sounds like one of yer typical Yew Nine Ted Nayshuns/Black Helicopters/WTC conspiracy fearing heavily armed racist inbreds.. God bless America, these people are allowed to vote, no wonder there's no socialised healthcare, such a plague of religiousity and other nonsense. "Barking" seems to be a valid lifestyle choice.
Still, look out, here come the Liberals, they're the dangerous ones here.
WARNING!
Zio-fruitcake ~ may contain traces of Kashrut nuts
Fruitcakes
I love fruitcakes. I wonder if Playmobil make one as an accessory? If not, perhaps you could rob one off the Sylvanian Families.
Zionist fruitcakes are a special treat jewish boys get from their momma if they're good.
Tom Lowe - Further meditations
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCvkatCGNFY
@grandvizier
No wonder about the italian resto --- zio means uncle (like tio in spanish)
Zio-Prop sounds like the sort of thing
they put in yoghurt to make your digestive transit easier
@AC from 10:35
"Does it come... with sprinklings and a cherry on top? :)"
I want sprinkles!!
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/10/sorry-you-cant-have-any.html
Kya??
He'll be one of those swivel-eyed backwoods nutters, nervously polishing his arsenal and muttering about the "gubmint' conspiracy and how he got half his brain shot out in 'Nam to anyone who can manage to listen for 13 seconds before entering a persistent vegetative state. Don't think Obama, don't think "change", just think Dubya, God and the red bits between the left and right coasts, where all without webbed fingers and a thing for their sister abandon hope on entry.
Satan rules, fruitcakes (non-zio) rule, red-staters FOAD.
Maybe...
I guess he means Zionist Fruitcake? Which still doesn't make any more sense
Zio-fruitcakes on special offer.
They're 2 for 1 at Morrisons until Sunday when they're changing the offer to 33% off Islama-nutbars and Christi-fruitloops.
Mine's the one with the religious intolerance shopping list in the pocket.
Technology, eh?
I didn't know you could get t'internet 30ft underground below a security compond 50 miles from nowhere in Montana.
Must be
Must be a trial patient for Clinical Humour Bypass surgery. A roaring success, by the look of things.
@Marvin the Martian
Thank you for the translation!
So if Zio = Uncle, Zio Fruitcake = Uncle Fruitcake.
Is he saying the Reg is related to Mr. Kipling, then?
Doesn't count!
This clearly cannot qualify for a FoTW. One of the rules quite clearly states "Do not reread your flame". This douchebag has apparently been working on this for the best part of 4 months. Even with his remarkably lower-than-average IQ, I can't help but feel he probably reviewed it at least once.
Without standards, there's nothing left!!
Hmm
Maybe the poor, misguided soul thinks the "WMD Tehran" was supposed to be *dropped* on Tehran, due to the likelihood of Zionists doing it? I dunno....
lie
sounds like a guy who posted on a forum of mine.
"i can sum evolution up in 3 words.
Evolution is a lie"
Ahem, last one...
public class Satan extends AnthropomorphicPersonification implements Beast, DestroyerOfWorlds, Antichrist { int getNumber() { return 666; } }
PlayMobil not "real news reportage"?
I'm shocked. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Lowe.
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