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back to article Attack of the Killer Tits

Reports are coming in of a previously unknown, deadly threat to sleepy Hungarian bats: that of being killed by tits. The shock news comes courtesy of Germany's Max Planck Institute for Ornithology, where boffins have been working with "colleagues in a cave in Hungary". Needless to say, we speak here not of any scenario involving …

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Paris Hilton

"Tits are not the same as Boobies"

Quite correct, tits are woodland birds, boobies are a type of seabird related to the gannet.

Even Paris knows that!

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In addition...

To follow on from "Tits are not the same as Boobies", one should also be careful not to attempt to introduce a shag to an old bat.

http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/s/shag/index.asp

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Hmm sounds like an easy solution...

Add bird feeders around the caves - problem solved ;)

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Pirate

Should our bat lover's worry

as we also have Parus major in UK

http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/g/greattit/index.asp

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WTF?

er?

" the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds - of the same ingenious family as the renowned cream-snaffling Blue Tits of old Blighty "

There seems to be an implication here that Great Tits are not found in Britain. They are, of course, very common in the UK.

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Gold badge
WTF?

Re: In addition...

Yes, but a Shagbat is the same thing as a Walrus when it comes to things that fly. Just to add to the confusion....

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Heart

Hey!

You can find Great Tits anywhere! *

* If you look.

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Thumb Up

Great.

"Needless to say, we speak here not of any scenario involving carelessly-roosting chiropterine boudoir intruders inadvertently stifled by human female tophamper in a comedo-tragic cleavage mishap or similar. Rather, the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds - of the same ingenious family as the renowned cream-snaffling Blue Tits of old Blighty."

I did chuckle at this. Does sound like you write for Top Gear or something.

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Coffee/keyboard

Genius at work

comedo-tragic cleavage mishap

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Silver badge

Killer Tits

For a minute there I thought this was going to be about Tits of Death:

http://www.titsofdeath.com

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Alert

Carlsbad chinese hat

Perhaps a Photo of Carlsbad Cavern's Chinese Hat Formation Would be appropriate Here...

(google image the title!)

Wheres the Boobies Icon??

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Anonymous Coward

Suspected as much

Personally unsurprised to find that "the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds", given the non-lethal outcome detailed here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/1398528/Woman-finds-a-baby-bat-in-her-bra.html

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Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Knee Warmers

Tits like Coconuts - Perfectly acceptable.

Tits like Bats - No thank you.

Paris - Because I'm sure she could point out a man eating beaver.

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Hungarians are not the only victims

Here in Wales we've also been victims of Great Tits - the weather brought them out in droves (is that the term - a drove of Tits?) - the beaches on Saturday around Barmouth were inundated with them. According to local news agencies, large numbers of males had to be treated for shock when a coachload of Great Tits hit the beach. Quotes like "you could have your eye out with them" were heard from temorarily blinded husbands as they were led away from the beach by their wives. I understand the female coach party was from Essex but that has yet to be confirmed.

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Tits?

<Reads story>

No point in asking for pictures or a Playmobil reconstruction then.

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Paris Hilton

spell checker failure

"Great Tits (Parus major)"

"Parus" indeed.

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IT Angle

IT?

Because someone's got to ask.

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Paris Hilton

Introduce them to topless dancing...

They can make more money that way, and eat a whole lot better.

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Alert

"a drove of Tits?"

no - it's "a twittering of tits"

(not to be confused with "a tittering of twits)

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Megaphone

i thought the only tits in Wales

was those who pull you over :)

its a big horn

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Anonymous Coward

This article makes no sense

Hungarian dictionary, please! My hovercraft is full of eels.

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Paris Hilton

killer tits

Indeed. I have a pair of them in front of me as i type.

she knows why

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Bronze badge
Coat

Wot?

No "tit for bat" jokes?

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Bronze badge

@Brad

Err, putting 'IT' in 'tITs'?

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Thumb Up

tits

"Great Tits" "peckish birds" "cream-snaffling" "Tits of old Blighty "

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Coat

collective nouns

Still strugling with a collective noun for many great tits. However a single pair would have to be a flash?

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Go

@collective nouns

The collective would be "a temblor of tits," naturally. Or unnaturally. Either way.

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Badgers

not that uncommon

Man eating tits can be found in many clubs up and down the country.

In some you can even find men eating tits.

So I've heard.

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