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back to article Alabama judges take hard line on dildos

An Alabama "adult themed chain store" has lost an appeal in which it sought to challenge the state's anti-obscenity law - prohibiting the sale of sex toys - as "unconstitutional" and "unconstitutionally vague". Alabama Supreme Court justices ruled on Friday that said law is indeed constitutional, and that Hoover-based Love Stuff …

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not obscene

Quote: The justices noted: "As the 11th Circuit pithily and somewhat coarsely stated: 'There is nothing "private" or "consensual" about the advertising and sale of a dildo.'"

Nor is there anything obscene about it. The court's playground morality is telling.

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FAIL

You gone taken a wrong turnin' there boy!

Nice to see that Alabama is doing all it can to retain its hold on the 1850's

Up next, weekly cross burning!

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WTF?

but i bet....

they are fine about rednecks buying guns... america eh? <sigh>

on a side not i watched a film called jesus camp at the weekend. i now think even less of the USA lol

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No doubt

that religion has something to do with this law. We all know that masturbation and sex for any purpose other than to breed more religious bigots is immoral and and a mortal sin.

I am going to hell, but at least I'm experiencing a life and having some fun during my time here.

“We feel a person should have the ability to come in and purchase a sexual device with out having to have a reason.” Only the insane would buy a dildo for no reason.

I say free cucumbers for all Alabamans

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WTF?

Wow!

So it's OK to openly a gun to anybody who wants one, but not a dildo?

Words, for one, fail me.

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Linux

On the other hand

You can legally buy and own semi automatic Assault Rifles in the US.

So not all bad eh?

If we had that here how long do you think Gatso's would last?

How long would Gordon Brown remain unshot?

How long would the Council tax bully boys impose daft fines for wheely bin crimes?

Much to be said IMO for a heavily armed population.

Giving up easy access to placcy dicks seems worth it to me.

Down with fake dicks UP with AK47's YAAAY!!!!

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Ah, Alabama

The state where 41% of the population voted to keep miscegenation illegal ... in 2000.

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Silver badge

A rose by any other name

So don't call them dildoes. Instead have imitation carrots or novelty vibrating bananas. As soon as they complain that carrots don't look like that then dig up some old "That's Life" footage.

In protest they could have a fresh vegetable section with an array of Gods' natural produce that just happen to be shaped rather similar to mens' appendages.

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WTF?

Obscenity.

Quick question: why is obscenity bad anyway?

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@AC 10:40 GMT

"You can legally buy and own semi automatic Assault Rifles in the US"

Really? You mean I can buy and assault weapon in California ? Oh Wait I can't. Look up gun control laws for each of the 50 states. Folks that are not from American tend to think that there is just national laws (Federal law). There are to separate Legal Systems in the US. You can be tried for crimes at the state level and for some crimes at the federal level.

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FAIL

"might as well be living in a communist country"

No, you short sighted buffoon; you might as well be living where you actually are, in a deeply religious redneck state ruled by ignorant and repressive Christian bigots. It's not communism that inspired this repressive judgment, and it's not being promoted by liberals; it's the religious right who are doing this.

So frankly the best thing to say is that you " ... might as well be living in Alabama".

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WTF?

D'oh!

Its fascinating how their twisted morality makes them so up tight are about sex, yet they will happily allow hundreds of millions to own guns resulting in thousands dying each year in shootings!. Added to this so many of them often fail to understand irony and many of them don't believe in Darwin's work.

Ironically perhaps Darwinian natural selection is trying to tell the morons something?!

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Joke

Good vibrations

Help me Rhonda, help help me Rhonda!!

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FAIL

Relig-o-tards and gun-nuts....

Strike again.

Guns = God's work = very good

Sex aids = Satan's work = very bad

Ho ho, Americans, eh?

Who'd a thunk it?

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WTF?

Educational criteria?

'...staff must must "ID everyone who enters and refuse sale to anyone who doesn’t fit the medical or educational criteria".'

So what "educational criteria" do you need in order to buy a dildo?

A Degree in Erotica?

A school leaver certificate?

A PhD in FUD?

Isn't it just as well that you don't need any educational qualifications to buy a handgun and stick that in your nethers? (should you feel that way inclined)

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Anonymous Coward

You must be my two new FNGs. Where you boys from?

Alabama sir!

You twins?

It's great watching yet another religiously indoctrinated (male) judge, ensure that women aren't allowed to have good orgasms, without their men present.

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Suprised?

This is the heart of the bible-belt and the wonderful part of the country that approved of men dressed like helloween ghosts placing burning crosses in other's front gardens!

Rosa Parks and Dr King obviously died for nothing as the law makers of the southern states are still living in the 19th Century!

"Ma grand-mammy and mammy never had no sexu-all discourse all they lives and I ain't starting now!"

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Big Brother

@AC 11:24

There was a very good piece in the Economist (http://www.economist.com/displayStory.cfm?story_id=14258768) a few weeks ago on the paranoid style of American politics. You see it at the moment with that excuse for a 'debate' on health-care at the moment but the original piece was an essay written in the 60s.

One might almost say that getting people paranoid was a deliberate conspiracy... :-)

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Coat

Is it only me?

"ID everyone who enters and refuse sale to anyone who doesn’t fit the medical or educational criteria"

Is it only in my mind's eye that the following occurs?

"Ok madam, I can see that you are over 21, now if you could just prove your inability to reach orgasm without one of these aids, I'll be glad to sell you one. "

What's that, it IS only me? Oh, right, sorry...

Mine's the one with the ID card and the oddly shaped bulge in the pockets.

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Joke

It's Alabama...

Where the state motto is "At least we're not Mississippi"...

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Headmaster

"Transcribed ... in some haste"

Nope, that dialogue sounds accurate enough: I'd be surprised if those aren't word-for-word transcriptions. (After all, we've had presidents less coherent than that.)

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Alert

Beware Loaded Dildo

If you could shoot somebody with a Dildo they would be legal and generally available or maybe they could say Dildo's are for self defense against marauding perverts. Could a Dildo be the ultimate Conceal Carry weapon - very concealed :-)

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Linux

kain preacher - It's Alabama dude

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_laws_in_the_United_States_(by_state)#Alabama

If I'd meant Kalifornia I'd have written Kalifornia

So AK47's are A OK in Alabama boy!

Yaaaayyy!!!!

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FAIL

Improvise...

...with electric toothbrushes.

(I wonder if the law bans import from out of state?)

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Stop

RE: Relig-o-tards and gun-nuts

It's not all the Americans, just the republicans. I have yet to meet a southern republican who isn't in some way a religious nut.

On the other hand I'm starting to think about buying a gun to defend myself against the south...Oh wait... didn't we do that already?

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WTF?

Re: Ah, Alabama

"The state where 41% of the population voted to keep miscegenation illegal ... in 2000"

I'll 'fess up an say I'd no idea what "miscegenation" even existed as a word let alone knew what it meant until I read this and had to go look it up.

But... WTF? In 2000? Really? Frightening...

Clam

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Anonymous Coward

@Ian Johnston

The miscegenation law in Alabama was repealed on 12 June 1967.

Not 2000.

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Thumb Up

Cock-shaped guns?

So could you get round the law by selling a cock-shaped gun? Or perhaps a gun with a suspiciously phallic rubberised sight on it?

Obviously you'd have to be very careful in the bedroom, and you'd probably have to take care which one you took out with your mates on a hunting trip, but still I think there's a product opportunity there.

Thumbs-up icon, because that'll have to do until the law changes.

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@kain preacher

shhh! You're interrupting the Daily Hate.

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Grenade

@ On the other hand

"Down with fake dicks UP with AK47's YAAAY!!!!"

Under the law that outlaws dildos, you are hereby declared illegal.

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The bible says girls should have sex with their fathers

And so, presumably, does Alabama's judiciary. And really, what Alabama father wants his daughter ruined by these ungodly, oversized dildos?

So sayeth Genesis 19:30-36 (and therefore applies to all licensees, co-marketers and affiliates of the Hebrew bible, including the USA).

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@Ah, Alabama

>The state where 41% of the population voted to keep miscegenation illegal

And the other 59% agreed with it but couldn't read the long word.

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Land of the free

No surprise, really, from a country that has just declined to distribute the film 'Creation' about Charles Darwin. Perhaps they should show 'Elmer Gantry' a bit more often...

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FAIL

@Annonymous Coward

Nope 2000:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/vote2000/al/main03.htm

It was unenforceable as of 1967, but still there.

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Stop

Religious right?

The state has been solid blue since 1900... ok so back them dixie democrats were somewhat more racist than today, but the democrats have owned the state legislature permanently even though the state sends republicans to congress these days. These modern democrats are no in any way "religious right". But lets not let that get in the way of a good bit of religion bashing... tuth be told this was a combination of different sorts of people who like to tell everyone else what to do. You get as many of those on the left as you do on the right and religion actually has very little to do with the attitude. Rather, they use the prevailing doctrine to justify their own self-absorbed obsession with dictating the minutiae of people's private lives. In the past that would have been religion, now it's the belief in the greater good of society. They've dropped god from the equation and gone for the direct sell, setting themselves up as the lords and rulers who can tell the plebian masses how to live their lives.

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Really?

>Nor is there anything obscene about it. The court's playground morality is telling.

>and it's not being promoted by liberals; it's the religious right who are doing this.

And now folks, explain to me why the EU can ban conventional incandescent lightbulbs but the State of Alabama can't ban dildos? Yes, the right has some wing nut ideas. And the left is just as glad to use Government to impose it's belief system as well.

The issue here isn't obscenity, it's whether the State can regulate what is being sold. It can. The courts do (should) not make the law; this court was simply saying no matter how ridiculous it is the State of Alabama has a right to prohibit their sale.

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Grenade

Religions and forbidding sex

"that religion has something to do with this law. We all know that masturbation and sex for any purpose other than to breed more religious bigots is immoral and and a mortal sin."

I have wondered why many religions try and stop people having sex (especially the unmarried), or simply enjoying sex. The conclusion I have come to is that if people will obey rules like that, then they will obey all sorts of other rules, and won't question things like why they need to be donating money to their local church/mosque/..... .

It's strange how god is so bad with money that it's constantly broke, so needs handouts to survive. Tax free is a good scam too.

If you think about it too, policies and schemes that are successful within an organised religion will stick about, and the ones that aren't successful will die out. Evolutionary theory can be applied to religion itself!

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Paris Hilton

Simple solution

Sell them as decorative ornaments, artistic objects or whatever.

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Joke

No one has said this yet?

So when are they going to take the shaft?

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Where?

You can buy a gun, but not if you are going to use it to pleasure your wife with!! Oh no sir, it's for shooting her only!!!

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Paris Hilton

But now that dildo's are illegal

I bet even in Alabama you can buy off the shelf cucumbers without a license. Or a doctors receipt. What is a good medical purpose for a dildo anyway?

I bet Paris knows

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@Matt32

You're right, states are allowed to make stupid laws.

The way the court enforced the law was to say that the advert of the dildo is immoral. It clearly isn't. It is the court who made a call on how to interpret a law about obscenity. Clearly they haven't grown up out of their playground mentality with regards to sex.

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AC:12:52 GMT

If you meant Alabama you should of said Alabama not US. US reefers to all 50 states plus its territory. Like the difference bet wen England and Britain .

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Personally

I just buy mine from out of state.

Remember - Alabama is home of Redstone Arsenal, where the US developed all those nifty rockets. I still think Huntsville should secede from Alabama though.

And yes, Alabama has very liberal gun laws. Waiting period my ass; they just installed an express lane.

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Anonymous Coward

RE:The bible says girls should have sex with their fathers

Did you even read the passage you refer to? The one about a couple of gals not having any men around and so raping their father?

Somehow I don't think most could possibly interpret this as advocation of incest.

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Stop

Re: But now that dildo's are illegal

I can't see any indication here that posession or use of a dildo is illegal. They're just saying that the state has a right to pass a law making it illegal to *sell* them. That still leaves several possibilities:

You could buy one on the internet and have it posted to you.

You could already own one, from before it was illegal to buy them.

You could be given one by a friend or relative. (!)

You could make your own.

Suitably enraged lawmakers may be able to ban these possibilities, too, but there's nothing in the article that says they have, yet.

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@MinionZero

> Ironically perhaps Darwinian natural selection is trying to tell the morons something?!

Ironically, so you say that dildos are essential to the next step of human evolution?

More or less ironically still, there has been a religion of dildos for 3000 years, continuing to the present day, with the fetish of erecting large vertical pointy objects on the Earth which penetrate the Sky.

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Happy

oh well

at least they have mail order.

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WTF?

Alabama judges take hard line on dildos

I guess the justice from Alabama was too intimidated by the larger size of rubber wangs.

Hey dude, this is the 21st Century. There's no room for your kind of old-timer backwards stupidity.

I guess Alabama folk will have to continue using cukes, carrots and bed posts, or opt for contraband commandos with flexible shafts and flashing lights that play "Raindrops keep falling on my head" while pulsating her to pleasure..

Glad I'm not American.

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Draconian stuff

I believe they may be also bringing back burning at the stake and hanging, drawing and quartering. Oh, and make it public again. Might bring in a few dollars/pounds for governments if they sell tickets.

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