"does anyone actually, seriously, do any browsing on a phone? squinting at a tiny screen, with your fingers constantly in the way while scrolling, ..."
The screen isn't that "tiny" and I dont tend to be reading too much while scrolling so that isn't really an issue for me at least
"If i'm using a mobile phone to browse at all, it will be on a laptop using it as a bluetooth modem with a proper browser."
If I'm using a mobile phone to browse it is with "bolt" a super fast browser with NO history and gone at the click of a button for browsing "those" sites!
As has been mentioned, it is great for your "immediate" browsing needs like Who is that actor etc