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back to article Met: We shan't scrap Form 696

The Metropolitan Police is congratulating itself for removing a question from Form 696, the controversial initiative "risk assessment" that allows London police to demand information from promoters. The police have also dropped the requirement that every performer and musician provide a phone number 14 days in advance of every …

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Bronze badge

It's catching...

The Met have caught a disease from Nulabour, which Nulabour in it's turn caught from the Civil Cervix (bunch of c***ts that they are). The disease? The belief that anybody who is up to no good is going to be honest when filling in a form.

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Unhappy

why would they...

want to give up ANYTHING that gives them any sort of extra-judicial power over the prols in any shape or form. No pun intended.

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Stop

If I use the 'SUCK on this ICON'

Does that make me 'FUNNY' or a TERRORIST'.

I always thought trying to be FUNNY with the POLICE was bit like shooting yourself in the face with an airgun. You might get away with it but probably not.

What ever happened to INNOCENT until proven guilty.

COMPLY CITIZEN.

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Alien

@Grease monkey

For proof (it it t'were needed) see the sticker you have to put on a parcel to send it abroad.

Question "What is in the parcel?"

As long as you don't answer "A bomb", you're fine

You can see this thwarting terrorist plots across the globe

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FAIL

In the spirit of Mark Thomas?

Can we not all start supplying a form every time we have a friend over to listen to music? Admittedly, my flat would count as a VERY small venue, but what the hell, I wouldn't want to do anything less than assist our glorious anti-terror forces waging their war against musical jihadists.

About 1 million application forms a week should do the trick....

(Mines the one with a copy of 'fuck da police' in the pocket).

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Re: Linbox, in the spirit of Mark Thomas

That's a great idea! In fact, I see no reason why this can't become an international movement..... anytime anyone anywhere in the world puts on any music with anyone else present, then send in a Form 696! Imagine the mountain of useless paperwork, the idea of burying these morons in irrelevant work is enough to make me willing to stump the postage from Canada! Ha ha!

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"...now racist undertone free"

To be replaced presumably by racist overtones ?

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Re: In the spirit of Mark Thomas?

That's all very well, but what if they just pass it all on to the music industry people who then come after you demanding royalties for your public performances of 'their' property, much like they've done with internet radio stations and so on.

Steve.

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Big Brother

Form 696?

I hope they save form number 1984 for people caught complaining about the growing Police State Bureaucracy.

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Bronze badge
WTF?

So...

What this says is that last year, the Met. formally sat and performed a formal risk analysis on 10,000 gig requests which have no link to anything criminal whatsover...

And they wonder why they get no respect.

Just to pose the question though... anyone have any idea what the criteria and profile for these risk analyses are?

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Coat

Clarification required

I think you should make it clear for m'learned friends that "racist undertone" is in no way a reference to Mr Feargal Sharkey, and that you in fact meant to refer to the Police's long-playing record "Racist under Tone" available throughout Mr Blair's premiership. No, not that The Police!

Is that an inuendo in your pocket? It's not mine.

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Silver badge

How to fight back

Whenever I'm gratuitously asked for my race or ethnicity, I write "Human" in the space labelled "other". I've never yet had a form returned - if it were, I'd try "mammal" next, or maybe give them my blood group (which is at least a scientifically meaningful subdivision of homo sapiens, unlike "race"). And if I were ever asked to categorize my artistic endeavours, I'd do much the same. <symbol>, the artist formerly known as Prince, had a much better point than most realized at the time!

One of the best ways to fight back is to subvert their paperwork without telling any lies.

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Re: In the spirit of Mark Thomas?

So write and perform your own songs.

Simples.

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Joke

"...now racist undertone free"

You should watch what you say about Feargal Sharkey...

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Spectacular Own Goal

RE: Colonel Panic - You have performed a superb piece of self ownage here, sir!

I applaud your public embarrasment!

May I suggest you start with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fergal_Sharkey to assit you in seeing the error of your ways

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Big Brother

@SteveK

Don't be silly. That would imply some level of intelligence on behalf of the authorities.

The days of PC Savage are upon us again.

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Script vs. Met - who will win?

Now, I listen to music most every day. That's an event, that is. As a minimum, I think pre-registering one year in advance is only fair. Of course, some evenings there will be people around so I'll have to re-register that night only, referencing the previous registration. All in all, my guess is around 500 forms per year, just for li'l ol' me. One box of Form 696 coming up... I wonder how many police man-hours I can soak up with one little script...?

As for royalties: go away please. These are private performances so the music "industry" (as if they produce anything but hot air and annoyances) can go jump in a lake. I have one handy, if need be.

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@SteveK Re: In the spirit

Then say the event was cancelled, therefore there was no performance. If the 696 requires notification of cancellation, it just doubles the paperwork. If not, well, that's good too.

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Anonymous Coward

Form 696?

Into room 101.

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Grenade

@GreaseMonkey & Glyn2

the Australian citizenship application form asks "are you a member of a terrorist organization?"

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Silver badge
FAIL

Not NuLab

Grease Monkey -"The Met have caught a disease from Nulabour"

Nah, it's not much more than a paper version of the Suss laws. "Are you promoting an event where young black males will congregate.or music associated with young black males will be heard or performed? As we all know, all young black males are murderous gun carriers or crack dealers and the public's safety is paramount."

The form?

"Full honest disclosure forms part of the risk assessment and will not in itself jeopardise the event." And not filling in the 'voluntary information' ? Even if you are middle-class white with a disco at a church hall they have been known to veto the gig.

First they start having arbitrary 'noise levels' set by local authoritiies where some twat in Hi-Viz turns up and decides they don't like the music so insists it's turned down or else. Now they bring in the cops as extra muscle.

This is more Daliy Mail Twat-O-Tron(tm) territory "Are you affected by young people and thier music? Does the constant jungle beat upset you?" etc.

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Terminator

It wouldn't be so bad...

...if the information gathered wasn't just downright inaccurate.

There are still foreign bands that get turned away due to "Nazi" allegiances despite not only not being Nazis but having ethnic/gay band members. You are free! To do as we tell you!

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