Man blames cat for child porn downloads
A Florida man accused of downloading more than 1,000 images of child pornography is blaming the offense on his cat, according to published reports. Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach is charged with 10 counts of child porn possession after detectives found the images on his home computer, the Associated Press reports. Investigators …
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I might believe the dude ...
... if it was kitty pr0n.
That said, my cats have managed to post unfinished comments here on ElReg, on occasio
You couldn't make it up....
...though it certainly sounds like he did!
How did they find him in the first place?
Unless it was a sting operation website (unlikely) the cops don't investigate you unless there's some other lead. I understand most child porn downloaders get caught because they were foolish enough to use their own credit-card information to purchase it, or that someone else reported them after seeing their computer. The AP source doesn't mention this (rather crucial) detail.
/SaintBill because IE doesn't report what sites you visit to the feds
Wowza
Heard some crap excuses in my time, but that ranks up there with the worst.
Cat? Porn? It's just too obvious...
... I got my coat before I started typing
Wow...
Talk about pussy getting you into trouble.
Wonder what the lolcats would make of this?
David 146
He was downloading music. So i would guess he was using a Gnutella based P2P client like Limewire.
Theres lots of CP on there.
Words fail me for this story
Im going to go drool in a corner
re: How did they find him in the first place?
Obviously the cat had been using his credit card!
Ok its getting beyond a joke!
They laze around the house eating our food, even though, unlike dogs they can get thier own, commanding us to do thier bidding with thier sub sonic purrs, and now they are using OUR broadband to D/L thier Pr0n! they dont even offer to pay toward the Broadband bill! !!!!111111eventyone
RE: How did they find him
Maybe the cat also shopped him to the cops to cover its tracks?
I like how "downloading music" was his defense
Did he just self-incriminate?
i can haz cp?
Clearly this matter will not rest until the Internet has an image macro of it.
Iz on yr pootr getn u in trubl
Iz on yr pootr getn u in trubl
Get out claws er clause?
I don't believe this scenario for a moment.
Any half decent cat would have arranged for a dog to take the blame.
What happened? Did he forget to feed the cat?
That's what you get...
..if you ignore your cat's repeatedly 'requests' for feeding. Though the severity of the cat's actions suggests that he'd not fed it in quite a while, the worst I've heard in the past was a little bit of insurance fraud and some drug planting - for a cat to go so far as downloading 1000 images to frame their owner neglect of the highest degree.
Perhaps he deserved it!
Cats are the scourge of the earth
I'm not at all surprised the poor man's cat was using his credit card. Cats are lazy freeloaders, all of them. And now pedophiles to boot.
http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=162
lolcats might be a good angle here
We all know no cat proud enough to prefix his or herself with 'lol' can spell, so maybe the cat was trying to type something innocent into a search engine, but misspelt the search term and ended up at a very un-lol site?
Kitty Pr0n
Let's give the wanker the benefit of the doubt and say that it was the inadvertent tap of kitty paws that magically caused pr0n to appear on his hard drive... If the dude knew his cat jumps on the keyboard when he steps away, he should have had a keyboard locker app installed on his machine so when the cat jumps on the keys, the pr0n wouldnt have cruised in. If only he would have been running Linux, he could have snagged such an app from the repos quick, free and Free.
However, I'm still sober (for now) so to me, believing this tomfoolery is like believing that Baldmer is a Linux advocate. Dude probably floats air biscuits and blames it on the dog too...
..."Your honor, this is a great misunderstanding. Most blokes have pets that behave. I get stuck with flatulating canines and Pr0n snagging felines, and I'm so locked into the Winhole Experience that I don't know how to make the keyboard pussyproof" LMAO
Bad move on his part
Is this guy MAD, he should fess up to the LESSER child pr0n charge immediately, he'll probably not even do time for a first offence...
Whereas the way things are in the US now, If they do him for illegally downloading music his ancestors will still be coughing up to the RIAA two or three generations down the line..!
Hah
What an interesting commentary, once upon a time you were innocent until proven guilty. Not any more.
What a perverted cat
Maybe they should be putting away the cat -- it sounds like a real pervert.
But seriously, they DO need to make sure (whether him or the cat) did not put some porn-sucking virus onto his computer *ASAP*, before his life is ruined even more. My cats *have* made my computer do ridiculous things -- I have an app I click on specifically because it ignores keyboard input, and they'd still manage to jump on the mouse first! I scold them a bit when I catch them stepping on it, so now they are very good about walking around the keys though. And recall unlike a proper OS (Linux, OSX, other UNIXes) Windows doesn't have an execute bit on files so anything named *.exe will run -- making it easy for a cat to launch some rogue file.
I find this very unlikely, though, in which case obviously the cat didn't download child pornography over 1000 times.
Good Kitty....
Just a well trained cat. Here, have a treat.
Cats....devious
My grandmother's cat collected her pension for two months after she had died and then managed to put the blame on my uncle. They are devious creatures.
Oh, um...
I'd post a comment, but I think I'd better go feed the cats.
Well...
That's a coincidence last week my dog nicked my car and went through a speed camera at 40 in a 30 area!
And the my hampster started making dirty calls... I won't even tell you what the gold fish and rabbits have been up to.
It's an animal consipircybi tell you!
Filed under
C:\users\mr tinkles\downloads\private stuff\porn\
if it's there the obviously it has to have been the cat.
Don't believe it.
How can a cat take a computer to PC World?
Although there's a lot that can be done by pressing keys at random (by a cat sleeping in a nice warm laptop keyboard).
I had to delete dozens of duplicate desktop icons once. And on another occasion, found that one cat had managed to open Outlook Express and compose an email.
Pussy looks at Pawn?
Never be unkind to your pussy and make sure you keyboard has a paw lock device.
Don't get it
If his "defence claim" is that he was downloading music then (as mentioned above) he'd probably be using something like Limewire. So what he's suggesting is that the cat jumped onto the keyboard, typed in a random number of characters that just so happened to come out as something that would make sense in a human language but also happened to be a search term for CP, hit <Enter>, and then clicked though the results to pick some favourites.
Not only is there the old "Million monkeys with a typewriter" problem (there's not enough time left in the Universe for a million monkeys to manage to type a single phrase from a Shakespeare play), but the cat also had to click the left mouse button 1000 times or more (or a combination of <Down><Enter> ad nausuem). And to add insult to injury, I doubt any single search could net 1000 results whether it's music or video.
The only way I could think that a cat COULD generate a valid result would be if the program had been used to download CP before and the search terms were still in the history. There could only be a need to hit one key (a 1 in 36 chance if we only count the letters and numbers, not including the number pad) and then hit <Enter> (a 1/105 or 2/105 chance roughly depending on whether you include the Enter key on the number pad). There's still the issue of how the cat managed to select the offending material and download it. AND CLEAR THE LIST OF COMPLETED DOWNLOADS BEFORE THE OWNER CAME BACK.
Not impossible, just very highly improbable. Could do with a Heart Of Gold icon really...
Well...
I've a feline he want be getting out anytime soon
/Gets coats and exits stage left
What a twat
Seriously, I hope he gets torn a new one by the judge...
God, unless somehow the judge falls for it and gives the cat the chair?!?!?
It is America after all...
hairless cat ?
now... if it was a 'sphynx' cat.. u know the hairless cats.... perhaps it had just done a few good search for 'hairless pus...
yeh u can fill in the rest.
In defence of cats
Hi, I am a cat. My servant, Sceptical Bastard (or SB as I call him when I deign to address him at all) is taking a shower so I've commandeered his keyboard to defend us felines.
To all you humantard commentators dissing us cats, I say FOAD. Do you want to be over-run with mice and birds? No? Then shut the fuck up.
Do you two-legged furless fuckwits seriously think we'd be interested in looking at pictures of you abusing your kittens? No. It is quite obvious that my brother in America was exacting revenge for some insult or neglect. And good luck to him!
Any more whingeing from you lot and there'll be fur flying! And - if you read this - the same goes for you SB. Now get out of that bathroom and open that sachet of catfood before I shit under your pillow and spray your freshly-laundered shirts.
Re: zerofool2005
>> He was downloading music. So i would guess he was using a Gnutella based P2P client like Limewire.
I can remember downloading what was supposed to be GTA San Andreas from Limewire - the first time I got Chicago, so I tried again and got a porno starring Snoop Dogg. It is very possible his cat could have pressed random buttons and downloaded a rar file containing 1000s of CP images. My daughter, when she was 18 months old managed to randomly press buttons and activate a 180 degree screen rotation.
Hmmmm
I suspect somebody has been taking LOLCats a little too seriously...
WTF?
What a load of b***s***... PMSL! A lame excuse if i've ever heard one, it's like 'the dog ate my homework.'!!
I'd like to see
someone that can prove his cat didn't do it.
So...
... has Ceiling Cat decided that just watching you isn't enough fun any more...?
hmm
That does sound a bit beyond reasonable doubt, the chances of a cat hiting random keys to get that crap are remote but to get over 1000 pics? he must be having a laugh, i bet his whole defence is going to be about proving its possible all be it remote that that could happen.
and you know what, knowing todays legal system he'll probably get away with it on that 1 in a billion technicality.
Monkeys, cats and Shakespeare
If you have an infinite number of cats walking over your keyboard then they'll eventually manage the complete works of Shakespeare, just as with the monkeys.
I tend to lock my keyboard when I leave the computer because the cats in this house do walk over the keyboard. However, as far as I know none of them have downloaded porn yet.
I assume they're using their IM (Instant Miaow) client to communicate with their friends.
If I had a cat...
...i know what his online shenannigans would result in!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/28/dearest_tinkebell/
@fluffy
Downloading music is not illegal. It's not even unlawful.
That said, if anybody believes the "my cat did it" excuse, I'll be amazed.
@El Reg : please can you make the icons part of the comment preview, as it affects the formatting?
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