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back to article Microsoft assaults our senses with 'viral' Bing video

Microsoft's quest to for cool has seen it endorse a video for Bing that channels the spirit of that other high-tide mark in Web 2.0 entertainment, Star Wars Kid. The company's named the winner in a competition for a Bing Jingle that it clearly hopes will achieve the same so-bad-it's-gotta-be-watched vital status and raise Bing's …

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Total Bing

That video bings so badly I almost binged my computer right out the binging window.

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Dead Vulture

"Except, it's so bad you can't bare watching it."

I couldn't, and neither could my bear, and he doesn't even wear clothes!

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Joke

Ouch

Some people should not be allowed in Internet ;)

Who also wants to support Internet Driving License?

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Gates Horns

ahhh

Congratulations on making an advert that can squeeze in your brand name 26 times or once ever 3 seconds. Now please shoot yourself in the head for the good of mankind.

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Unhappy

i feel ill

Why oh why didn't i heed your warning Reg ? I guess I'm just not very good at following instructions of the form "don't look at this" ....

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Happy

Bing?

Wasn't sure what Bing was, so I Googled it.

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Anonymous Coward

Nudity outlawed?

"Except, it's so bad you can't bare watching it"

That'll stop all those nudist video watchers!

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Thumb Down

You what ?

"Microsoft assaults our senses with 'viral' Bing video"

I have a strong feeling you linux geeks don't even use it so who are they assaulting again ?

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Urgh

This whole article causes me pain - it's well written, it just contains so much fail. Gives me the same feeling as I get when I see footage of myself drunk singing karaoke.

I'm going to adopt "bing" as my preferred verb for taking a dump.

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FAIL

Bleccchh!

If that was the winner, heaven help the losers...

This is just desperate. As desperate as those Seinfeld ads.

Really, all M$ need to do is to give their customers what they want - which seems to be a cheap and secure version of XP judging by the comments here - instead of just copying everyone else with a successful product and doing it badly (mostly Google and Apple).

But then I gave up on them a while back now for my own use, so what do I know?

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The Bingle

"Except, it's so bad you can't bare watching it."

I watched it. I am bare.

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Silver badge

WHY...

...did I listen to that! Whom can I blame for my now developing eardrum cancer?

EA

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FAIL

Oh dear...

Anyone else notice how firefox came up on the search between 0:52-0:57?

Quite annoying to be honest, much more than other viral videos...

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Are we having fun, yet?

I just love the "Microsoft “Bing Jingle” Contest OFFICIAL RULES" on their website - which are a classic excersise in Microsoft Legal Department Scroll Wheel Death. One of their rules is that you cannot enter if you're a resident of the province of Quebec. Quebec? What the Hell? Are they afraid Bryan Adams might enter, or something?

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Grenade

You weren't kidding

That is truly mind-effingly awful.

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Paris Hilton

Chandler

I no longer follow the exploits of products and services until they are released and have some effect on me or my life. So, what the heck is Bing? It appeared to be an even more annoying version of Ask Jeeves (which always seems to pop up in my google search, yet it only contains the topics I searched for as its own search).

So I think the video is great. It has taught be to avoid Bing.

Paris, because her viral video was just as bad.

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FAIL

and

bang goes your career mate!!

Never mind, you can google for another job

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Grenade

ugh

After watching that I really wish you had just rickrolled us instead...

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thanks

for ruining my morning. cheers el reg.

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Bing as a verb

I thought the line from the MS man about people using Bing as a verb was total crap, until I read the first comment here:

"That video bings so badly I almost binged my computer right out the binging window."

Binging hell - it's true!

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WTF?

Bing?

Badda Bing, Badda Boom...

What no Goodfella's reference.... am deeply disapointed

"He says, oh, what do you wanna tell me now, tough guy? I said, bing, what are you still doing here, I thought I told you to go f@ck your mother."

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Well, I shall be avoiding Bing at all costs now.

Since every time I see the word Bing now I feel nauseous.

Why didn't they just use Two Girls One Cup as their viral video?

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Bronze badge
Badgers

Badder bing

So is "bing" now being used as a verb to mean "looking for something but not quite being able to find it?"

Like when you bing for scissors by wandering around the house making "scissors" kind of motions with your hands? Or the other day when I was binging for my wallet and then remembered I had left it on the desk at home?

If so, that's actually quite a useful word.

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FAIL

Verb?

Verb no... adjective & noun Yes, as in "what a load of binging bing".

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Linux

Ask

So aparently Bing is not a search engine. Its an answer enginge. Like Ask Jeeves was marketed as.....

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Happy

Strictly speaking...

>Strictly speaking, The Reg shouldn't be writing this

>piece as it could be construed as viral dissemination...

I'd rather think of it as a more of a Public Service Swine Flue Warning...

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Thumb Down

Ugh

Christ on a bike!

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Stop

What a shame...

"You can see the video below."

No I can't. Damn. Double Damn.

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Unhappy

oh dear

There are just some things you cannot unsee.

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Man...

That's nearly two minutes of my life I can't get back.

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'Bing' as a verb

"We are already seeing initial anecdotal evidence that people are using 'Bing' as a verb"

Eg:

"Oh dear, I think I've just binged myself"

... or as an adjective.

"Windows vista is right load of old bing"

... or

"This guy is talking complete bing"

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FAIL

Horrible, horrible, horrible.

But at least it worked - now countless unsuspecting Reg Readers have seen it. Personally I'm praying for Alzheimer's so I can forget it.

I thought the "We're Linux" winning video was clever but pointless - no real clue about what the video was about. This was mindless, boring, aimed-at-the-sub-5-year-old cr@p.

I will now use anything BUT that product.

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Coat

Nude in 12 seconds

Got my kit off in a flash. Gladly missed the ending.

Bing = Pants then?

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Coffee/keyboard

Just what can $500 buy you?

I've seen some shite on YouTube (and of course it's ironic that MS have to use Google to punt their shite) but that really is up there with the worst.

You really should have posted that with a NSFW tag, there will be a lot of damaged monitors and keyboards throughout the land, but as its Friday everyone can then knock off early and go to the pub and try to drown out those visuals which will be burned into their minds forever.

Would you sell your credibility for $500? I know I wouldn't. The man is obviously some sort of attention whore.

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FAIL

Bing is a both a noun and a verb

In my wife's family, and now mine, bing has always been a noun meaning a fart or, when used as a verb, to fart.

I bing regularly.

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You Watched it! You can't unwatch it!

Although I'd recognise that crappy Final Cut Pro chroma key anywhere. Man why don't these viral guys get better video editing software? even blender's non-linear video editing does a better job.

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Thumb Up

Verbage

Thanks Geoff Mackenzie you owe me a new keyboard. Mines binged after I sprayed it with a mouthful of tea.

Since Google has become the term for an internet search in the same Hoover is the term for vacuum cleaner. i think we may hear people saying 'I couldn't find what I was looking for I Googled it on Bing'.

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Stop

Virus

This is virul in the same way that Ebola Zaire is viral.

End result is much the same too...

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Beam me up Scotty

There's no intelligent life on this planet...

@ Urgh re "'m going to adopt "bing" as my preferred verb for taking a dump."

I'll go the sexual intercourse reference route myself, as in "I binged my girlfriend twice last night." Meet back here in three years to see who won?? :-)

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0:22 is...

...as far as I lasted, and that was without any sound.

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Silver badge
Pint

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

After viewing that, I need to flush my brain with several pints of 3.7% alcohol.

Luckily, it's Friday lunchtime - cheers!

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Joke

I have a solution

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCbfMkh940Q

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Coffee/keyboard

The Cock Rookie Bottom

It's definitely viral, I feel sick to my stomach after watching a mere 20 seconds. Mann flu, probably, pass me a keyboard wipe please.

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Gates Horns

It's true!

"We are already seeing initial anecdotal evidence that people are using 'Bing' as a verb."

I think I ate some bad nachos yesterday, I've had to bing every five minutes. Must have been the cheese sauce. My bing's getting sore from wiping it. Oh wow, you can use it as a noun too.

Side note: Is David Blaine now a bing dangle?

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I have lost my vision

This comment has bee written with Dragon Naturally speaking.

I have suffered, what I hope to be, temporary blindness. My God help the people who watch that video.

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Anonymous Coward

Please God NOoooooo...

If I wanted to dance like him I would shoot myself. Dad dancing doesn't even come close....

Wear pants like his... Ha ha ha ha ha.

I have downloaded this onto my phone and am going to bluetooth it to anyone who is daft enough to accept an incoming file from a stranger. That will teach them.

Cheers... Ish

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Bronze badge

Ugh...

Well, I managed to watch a few seconds...

...but can someone please tell me what the 'innernet' is?

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Welcome

thank you our draconian network admininstrators!

Finally I've a reason to thank our binging draconian network policies that stopped this binging video from showing on my screen.

Either that or Chrome is a piece of bing and doesn't show binging videos properly. I suppose I could go home and try to watch it there, except if I were at home I wouldn't be reading El Reg.. At home i'd be binging the girlfriend.

Does *anyone* fall for the anecdotal evidence bing?

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Pint

<I gots yer frikkin' title right here>

"I'm writing a song a day, this is #203"

Firstly, there's only the most tenuous of links between that piece of utter bing and a song.

Secondly, I shudder at the thought of the other 202 - or more. Unless the MS $500 was enough to make you stop.

Thirdly, please stop.

Fourthly, will someone pass the mind bleach please?

Failing that, several pints of icon please.....

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Stop

The pain!

My eyes! My eyes!

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