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back to article Swedish lesbians suck sperm banks dry

Sweden's fertility clinics are racking up a serious backlog of people waiting for artificial insemination, due in part to a "spike" in demand from lesbian couples for vital supplies of man juice. So bad have things got that prospective customers at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg are now forced to wait 18 months …

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Welcome

I for one welcome...

Our 'two mums, no dad' overlords.

I feel sorry for the kids...

ttfn

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Silver badge

Lesbians wanting to become pregnant?

Good job the hospital isn't funded by a feminist charity otherwise they'd be told that's not what women should want to put their bodies through.

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Paris Hilton

Looking abroad?

"Principally to Denmark and Finland" eh? What's wrong with good old British babymaker? It's the stuff empires are built on and guarantees offspring to be on the winning side in the event of a war.

Paris, because her icon makes me want to 'donate'.

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Terminator

Guy on bike

Is this the real reason that guy was attacked earlier this month?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/16/devil_girls/

That 50 year old sperm might be worth a bit and of course by the time the kid decides to find out who his dad is, he can't blackmail him for any money because he'll be senile or dead.

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Gates Horns

As soon as I saw the "Swedish Lesbians Suck" ...

.... I was hooked.

This story is NUTHIN' without pictures, so either upload some pics of hot Swede lesbos or get the PlayMobil out pronto!!!

Bill, because if I had his money I'd be gettin sucked dry by some swede birds too

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Paris Hilton

Sobering thought

"Swedish law allows kids to learn their biological father's identity once they turn 18."

I hope the law doesn't change to the effect that the donor has to provide 18 years worth of maintenance (although it probably would in this country under the current government - sigh).

Paris, 'cos I've got a sample for her...

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Stop

A question...

Does anyone know if the law is specific to same-sex female couples or does it extend to male couples as well?

If not, why not?

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old fashioned...

why is that these women become lesbians (not bi-sexuals obviously as that would destroy my point) because they dont find men attractive but then opt for the one thing a man can provide that a woman cant!

surely the maternal instinct in a woman seriously wanting to reproduce would incline her towards a partner that can provide the necessary 'ingredients'. something is amiss here methinks.

Surely if you go off men, you should go off every bit of the man!

or is that far too sexist/biggoted of me in this liberal-everyone has the right to reproduce-era?

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Joke

"please note that we've already covered lesbian artificial insemination."

Really?!

I will bet it was fine and even, as befits the quality expected of El Reg... and two coats, to boot!

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Coat

"Duff man juice also adding to chronic shortage"

Am I the only person who read the subheading and thought "Duffman, ooh yeah"?

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Megaphone

News?

I couldn't really give a toss!

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Thumb Up

Guess the hack

Some headlines just scream Lester Haines.

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Alert

Hehehee

"The upshot of the Swedish sperm..."

Coffee ------> Keyboard + Screen

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: old fashioned...

The fact that I still find some of these comments shocking is a source of relief to me. It means that 18 months of moderating hasn't completely deadened my head yet.

In case anyone was wondering, I'm approaching this thread with my "let almost everything through in order that you can see what people really think" hat on.

Just lovely. Keep it up, enlightened souls!

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Pint

Yaaaahhh

It's FRIDAY!!

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Rob
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Go

Love it!

Remember that story about the artifical sperm, I could have sworn I heard someone comment once about "seems like a daft idea, not like there's a shortage of sperm around".... 'well appprently there is a shortage for anyone with a passport from lesbania in sweden.

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Coat

Indeed?

Maybe one should reconsider ones holiday plans and stay near the east shore for a few days, if we're going to be invaded by Swedes crying for assistance. Just as a public service, of course. *sigh* The things one does for humanity...

Alright already, I'm going. Mine's the rubberized one with the wellies. No, *not*... Oh fer cryin' out loud.

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Happy

@ 'A question...'

If you can find one man let alone a couple that you can fertilise with any amount of man juice then you better get the papers lined up pretty sharpish cos there'll be plenty of money to be made.

@ 'old fashioned'

Seriously, have you just teleported in from the 70's with a copy of the Sun?

Final point - given this and the 'devil girls' story I'm moving to Sweden. Man's in demand! Do they pay cash at donation clinics? The next generation of Swedes could all look like me! Actually in that case I probably shouldn't go.

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What? No alliteration?

Swedish sapphos suck sperm storage sere.

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Heart

@Steve Swann

I'm not sure about the detail of Swedish legislation, but I'm fairly sure that all couples would be entitled to fertility treatment equally now.

The thing being that a gay male couple has plenty of sperm of their own, but nowhere to gestate it. I doubt they provide you with a free surrogate mother as "infertility treatment", but I could be wrong.

Love icon, for obvious reasons.

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Pint

@Steve Swann

I one of the homosexual males involved happens to be equipped with a womb and some ovaries then I don't see why not.

<nice creamy head

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Pint

@The Dark Lord

You're not the only one. Oooohhhh yeah!

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Coat

Sperm shortage?

I am surprised no one has posted this yet,

I will volunteer to help fill the backlog

Mines the one with the weird stain on the pocket

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Thumb Up

@The Dark Lord

Nope.

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Go

quite right Sarah !!

It's a fascinating insight. Everyone just wants to see the red-hot action. Very poor show, chaps, you're letting the side down..

Me, I'm all for a more helpful, hands-on, approach - and I'm booking my flight right now, with a view to helping some of these poor women out of their predicament, via a more "traditional" route.

For me, it's all about the giving. And if I get paid for it too, well, let me tell you I wouldn't say no to earning money hand over fist !

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Boffin

Re: A question...

@Steve Swann

I'm sure the sperm bank would give all-male couples all the sperm they want, but I fail to see what they'd be able to do with it?

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Unhappy

I still hold out hope

That one day all the boys in IT will grow up. Today, I fear, is not that day. *sighs*

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FAIL

IKEA!

I wounder if IKEA would trade a new kitchen for a male juice donation? Swimmer works (see user name), proven track record.... ;-)

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@Steve Swann

>why not

Cos they haven't got a womb - where's the fetus going to gestate, you going to keep it in a box?

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Coat

tee hee hee!

I once tried to help out a female friend (who was bemoaning her lack of a suitable suitor for reproduction purposes) by sending her my grungiest pair of underpants and saying whatever "leftovers" she could boil out of them, she could keep.

(Some women just have no sense of humour!)

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Coat

On my way to Sweden

I'll stand in front of the clinic with a big sign that reads "Will trade sperm for sex"

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WTF?

I've wanked myself blind

What forum is this? I can't SEE!!!!!

/Hot Swedish lesbos = WIN (I can be down wit de yoot too)

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Silver badge

@Steve Swann

Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?

Stan: (pause) I want to be one.

(pregnant pause)

Reg: What?

Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta.

Reg: What!?

Stan: It's my right as a man.

Judith: Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

Stan: I want to have babies.

Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?!

Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

Reg: But you can't have babies.

Stan: Don't you oppress me.

Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan -- you haven't got a womb. Where's the

fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

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Coffee/keyboard

Could I just say

That is one of the greatest headlines I have ever seen, it had my office in hysterics, keep up the good work.

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WTF?

Old Fashioned?

Sarah it's OK to pretend you're innocent - but we've seen your Xmas night out pics and you look a right raver (joking)

When you say "let almost everything through", what have you rejected for this thread?

I hope you aren't keeping these hot lesbo pics Reg readers have submitted all to yourself, that's just not fair. Play the gemme eh, as we say in Scotland!!!

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shortage?

... well i guess we (blokes) are still needed then, despite the efforts of these ladys to suggest otherwise (with their fatherless offspring)... honestly I sometimes wonder what would happen if plastic willies could mo the lawn, would anyone notice us men even being here anymore.

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Happy

It's Friday

So I can tell you about the two lesbians who live next door to me. They bought me a Rolex for my birthday this year - I think they misunderstood me when I said 'I wanna watch'.

Hohoho.

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Anonymous Coward

Let's just get one thing that we *ALL* agree on...

LESTER is the next PM!!!

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Grenade

Bollocks

This isn't about enlightenment, it's about basic fucking biology. If you don't pack the gear (borrowing a line from Full Metal Jacket) to make a baby then you shouldn't have one. My point of view isn't based on any weird religious grounds but simple logic. Two guys can't make a baby, nor can two women so they have no business obtaining one using methods which, let's face it, were set up to assist infertile heterosexual couples.

This is probably a ridiculously unfashionable viewpoint but when we have teachers for whom open combat is a last resort t to maintain order in a classroom then society should be figuring out what made it strong in the first place. It should not be taking those foundations apart. If whatever path you choose in life leads you to shacking up with someone of the same sex it's pretty obvious that sexual intercourse isn't going to result in a baby. That doesn't mean you have the 'right' to one.

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Outsourcing, anyone?

Any chance of this getting outsourced, then?

Like, I mean, to India or China? Very little duff man juice over here.

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Troll

My old flatmate used to make "donations" as a student,..

for research purposes; trouble is, he looks like a hobbit, christ knows what the kids will turn out like.

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Paris Hilton

Shortage ??? Lesbian Couples ? ?

Let me out there . . . fantasy fulfilment time me thinks !!

ahhhhhhhhh.. . .

oops.. too late... hehe Wonder if i can post it to them instead ? ?

mind you, i suppose if they are mingers you can always have a w@nk and throw it at them! !

/Paris coz its fantasy time . .. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Dear Swedish lesbians...

Form an orderly queue & Ill fill you to the brim!

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Pint

RE: Sarah

I take the same viewpoint as the most powerful women that ever existed, Her Majesty The Queen Victoria, who ruled the British Empire at it's peak and was undoubtedly one of the best rulers of recent history.

There is no such thing as lesbianism.

Lets see these so-called lesbian feminists wrestle with that one.

Where's your sandals and tie dye shirt now you beardy hippys (not you Sarah)

WE ARE WOMEN WE ARE STRONG!, WE ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR RIGHTS!.....Yeah right, I know what Queen Victoria would have said to that! Probably something like "shut up and start making babies for my war efforts".

Mines a fish, because once you cresp, you just can't splesp.

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Joke

Untitled joke

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

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Linux

Fuck Me! Fuck Me Not!

Cum on you guys, this is just sick !!

Most of those lesbos are like builders labourers or hairy bikers --- would you shag one of them without a bag over its head ? I would need two bags, in case the one over my head burst ! But ! I hear you cry, 'you don't look at the frying pan when you're poking the fire !' Hey, those ain't the latest gas fires, these are your dirty old coal fires with smuts and smoke and ashes !

Excuse me if I just stick to being a gentleman towards NORMAL woman of all ages --- the only ugly women are lesbos and those who otherwise choose not to be beautiful. I have all the time in the world for the beautiful ones, which does seem to be the vast majority of them.

I have nothing against homos of any breed, but I certainly don't wish to participate.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Fuck Me! Fuck Me Not!

I'm saying nothing. But I am judging you.

Oh and previous poster - so, another way to put that would be that your views on sexuality are Victorian? Just that it might have been quicker and saved you time to say that. You're welcome.

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IR

chance missed

"please note that we've already covered lesbian artificial insemination."

How could you miss the chance to say:

"please note that we've already covered lesbians with sperm."

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Linux

Re: Sarah Bee

Sarah, what greater honour could be bestowed upon a simple man that to be judged by Sarah Bee? I can't think of one ! ( I think Sarah Bee comes into the class of 'beautiful' as described earlier above !)

Have a nice weekend Sarah. :)

Sarah Bee because she puts up with all the crap and comes up smiling. I love that !

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@Will 22

"This isn't about enlightenment, it's about basic fucking biology. If you don't pack the gear (borrowing a line from Full Metal Jacket) to make a baby then you shouldn't have one."

So IVF of any kind is out then?

Infertile couples, by definition aren't "packing the gear" so what is the difference between them and a homosexual couple? Oh, they fit better into your ricockulously simple world view.

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