back to article Government pig flu spotter pulls a sickie

The government's online symptom checker for swine flu symptoms has been unavailable all day, and it has emerged that government plans for a national flu hotline have been delayed. Documents obtained by the Liberal Democrats reveal that FluLine was delayed by Treasury footdragging. The Treasury was expected to sign off the …

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They've had six months.

How difficult can it be? It only took me a couple of minutes.

Do you feel knackered?

.Do you have

A high temperature?

A sore throat?

Aching muscles

Snot coming out of your nose?

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Rob
Headmaster

Typo?

Sign-off in June 2008! How long have these numpties been keeping us in the dark ;)

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FAIL

Unsurprised

Thing is, if they've got a half assed policy in place you can bet they also have underfunded server hosting.

So ten thousand people phone up to check if they have flu (seriously.. people can't figure out they have flu by themsleves? So that's what that high temperature, sore throat and runny nose was all about.. well I never..) and ddos the service.

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Thumb Up

seems to be back online

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

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Silver badge

Easy

Do you have...

A curly tail?

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What the hell is an "online symptom checker"?

Do they mean a one page web site with a list of symptoms? If so, I can oblige.

That'll be £4,000,000 please. I might as well have some gravy.

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Big Brother

No typo!

Swine Flu has been known about in medical circles for quite some time, however as with most things that can affect large swathes of the population, governments follow the simple and well proven principle of the Fungal Growth Cycle. (Keep them in the dark and feed them on BS).

This governing principle is now and always has been how the British Parliment has managed every crisis the country has ever faced. (Other Nationalities need not look smug as most of your Governments do exactly the same, but without the British sense of overcoming adversity stirred into the mix. ..........back in my day....... stiff upper lip and all that.....).

Governments world wide hate the education system they have in place, as although it does encourage genius talent from all levels of society to be found (therefore aiding the country), it also means that there are more of us equiped to question every little thing they do. Hence they stick like glue to the tell them nothing policy.

So since they knew about it they had to make plans to deal with it, but since they knew it could kill people they also had to tell no one, until such time as it became pandemic. After all telling us means we want to know more. At that point those of us who use the lesser categories of news information media (gutter press, etc.). Will read (being slightly optimistic maybe)/have it read to us, that there is a "KILLER FLU Threatening (insert country of interest here)!!"

Any time your government tells you anything it's because it's something you could find out from other sources anyway. The biggest fear most governments have is not war or revolution or the failure of their banking system, it's that their population will panic.

Fear of infection leading to refusal to carry on our normal day to day lives scares the hell out of them.

So yeah, they knew and yeah they said/did nothing overtly until they were left with no other choice, except to tell us all about it, followed swiftly by waving their respective, " look your government is reacting really fast to this crisis" plans in the air, so we could all see what a wonderful government we have.

But then again maybe I'm just a cynical old git?

My Government would never do that would they?

Oh look it's nice and dark in here again.........

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Black Helicopters

'Central Plank'...

otherwise known as Gordon Brown.

Question is, when FluLine is up and running, will any bugger be able to understand the so-cheap-you-won't-believe-it Indian call centre workers on the other end?

Black chopper...because if they have been keeping this from us since June '08, one has to wonder if they are telling us the whole story.....

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Stop

Steady on!

How can you attack a government which is handing out such fantastic advice to pregnant women as "to reduce the risk of catching swine flu, avoid contact with people who have swine flu". My tax money isn't being wasted here - move along...

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