He'd be better off sueing for lack of care considering that he is obviously has mental health issues. The police should have reported him to the US equivalent of the local mental health hospital the first time around and he would be feeling better and less time and money would be wasted in having his case get kicked out of court.

Here we see the net results of long-term exposure to the Apple Reality Distortion Field.

so the italian mafia wanted him to model for a new york modeling agency?

i thought new york had its own mafia - is there anyone left these days that don't outsource? whatever next - indian companies putting their call centres in the UK?

You've just publicly ridiculed what is clearly an unbalanced individual.

Way to help the public perception of mental illness.

... is the tinfoil hat icon...?

The Mafia doesn't have any Black Helicopters.

Is it even conceivable that this guy isn't a complete nutjob? I mean, he couldn't really be any more paranoid. When this case gets thrown out of court, presumably he's going to accuse the judge and his attorney of also being in on the mafia plot. Where will it end?

"Besides, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that someone - perhaps even the Italian Mafia - isn't out to get you."

Why is the name McKenna, so similar to self-confessed hacker McKinnon? Have they ever been seen in the same room with each other? No, so therefore they are one & the same person!

Mafioso is everywhere these days :(

We need this guy in politics! Send him straight to the Senate or better yet replace Judicial nominee Sotomayor with him. You can guarantee he will look out for the little guy. Hey, he couldn't do any worse than the rest of the group in D.C.

This man sounds as if he has the symptoms of schizophrenia, a very distressing medical condition. Upwards of 40% of people that have schizophrenia will attempt suicide at least once. Males with schizophrenia attempt suicide at a much higher rate than females; approximately 60% of them will make at least one attempt. The result of these attempts is that between 10% and 15% of people with schizophrenia have historically committed suicide. This is not a suitable subject for reporting in the mocking style chosen by your reporter.

Paranoid Schizophrenia is not a laughing matter hope this poor guy gets some help before the lawyers suck him dry !

Is this guy for real? This has to be the funniest story I've read all week.

Forget James Bond, forget Die Hard. Truth really is stranger than fiction.

As he is obviously completely nuts or is just trying to bank some serious cash.

Perhaps he's in debt up to his eyeballs.

definitwely time to send in those dressed in white lab coats with a straightjacket.

Big bro icon selected as he is obviously paranoid but would prefer a howling Wolf please

Why can't the fanboys see is my way!

>"Its not for us to say whether McKenna is a few sandwiches short of a picnic"

Bollocks, of course it is! This guy is the new Mike Corley!

AICMFP

Umm (checks calendar) nope not the 1st and definately not April. Rik did Lester hijack your authors account? Because I understand you handel pretty much all Apple related news but come on. Even you had to have had the taste of bile in the back of your throat from this idiot. Though with how worried he is about things could this not be Aaron K. in disguise?

@Mike007

"i thought new york had its own mafia - is there anyone left these days that don't outsource? whatever next - indian companies putting their call centres in the UK?"

Wouldnt that be a story to read

Cry me a river.

You crybabies are worse than youtube sometimes.

Boy, talk about a classic paranoid schizophrenic! I feel bad for all involved, just think of the poor mechanic who was just doing his job gets this person in their shop...

This guy should post his stories on Usenet. Under a running title to make them easily recognised. I don´t know, something catchy and original, like ¨MI5¨, maybe?

I mean, he bought how many iPods, despite being threatened with death by each one? Personally I'd have gone for a different brand and saved myself the hassle.......

Has finally lost the plot.

I work at a long term closed door mental health facility and hear stuff like that ALL the time from the residents.

Heres 3 examples.

One 75 year old African American women was running around with a picture of Rebeca Romain and saying it was a picture of her all while the demons in her head were telling her things.

We also had a guy that ripped his skin open due to believing that he had a transmitter shoved into him by aliens working with the CIA (I am NOT making any of this up).

We also have a person who thinks L Ron Hubbard was the most brilliant man alive and dianetics is the most thought profound book ever written and will spit on you if you disagree.

In the least he has severe schizophrenia. And I when schizophrenics snap I've seen everything from feces to billiard tables flung at employees or whoever they think is against them. And this is a place where we have control over what they can get a hold of. I would not want to be anywhere near this guy when he finally snaps because innocent people are going to get hurt. So this is not really a laughing matter IMO, but I do se why some people would laugh.

He's not just missing the sandwiches, he's missing the beer, the scotch eggs, the plates, the blanket, the cool bag, all of it.

paranoid schizophrenic? Some IT guys you are, Going straight for the bad CPU. Maybe hes just got a ringing in his ear that he thinks is a bug? This is a classic case of "Broken coffee cup holder". "NOBODY WILL FIX THE BROKEN COFFEE HOLDER ON MY COMPUTER! I'M GONNA SUE!"

And for those of you whining "this is no laughing matter" Get a grip, I bet you've never laughed at a dead baby joke either? Get off your selective morals and spin on it you morons. I bet he buys apple products because the store is a bright white room. ha!

> Cry me a river.

> You crybabies are worse than youtube sometimes.

When you eventually go nuts, don't come crying to me. You won't get any sympathy.

"as would any right-minded citizen - called the St. Louis Police Department"

I spent 24 year in St. Louis. Calling StLPD is the last resort of a very desperate person.

So you're saying "Cafe Style 1" WASN'T about killing Mr McKenna?

Then I've TOTALLY been missing the point of that song, all this time???

Duuuuuuuuude.....

You control what they can get access to and you let them have a billiards table. Sure, can't do any damage with that!

As for the 3rd guy. Spill the beans. Which actor are we talking about?

"We also have a person who thinks L Ron Hubbard was the most brilliant man alive and dianetics is the most thought profound book ever written and will spit on you if you disagree."

Why haven't you got the whole of the Scientology crowd in your hospital then? :-)

He should call the SCO lawyers. They will take case if paid enough money. Besides Microsoft would be pleased to finance a case like that.

So you have Tom Cruise locked away in there do you?

the song he chose seems rather apt...

/away to go buy more To-Ka Project

Maybe. But it appears he's gone OTT on the fruitcake.

...because the attorney that filed his suit must have examined it closely and formed the opinion that it was valid and that there was a reasonable chance of success?

... he has quite the future as a global warming advocate.

Mine's the one with double thinsulate lining for the coldest July on record.

One of my family members suffers from paranoid schizofrenia.

He had a 10 year remission until recently, and now sees signs in clocks, hears things on the radio and TV and isn't capable of holding a rational conversation for more than a couple of sentences.

I know, it sounds amusing, but this is a real person who's living in a personal hell and with no way out. His life is completely and utterly shit.

There are genuinely funny stories out there. This article doesn't present one. It's completely infantile.