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back to article Apple sued over shrink-wrapped Mafia death threats

A Beverly Hills, California man is suing Apple, the St. Louis Police Department, the FBI, an auto mechanic, and others for aiding and abetting the Italian Mafia's attempt to force him to become a New York fashion model. Plaintiff George McKenna filed a painstakingly detailed 124-page pro se complaint with the US District Court …

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FAIL

Mental heath case

He'd be better off sueing for lack of care considering that he is obviously has mental health issues. The police should have reported him to the US equivalent of the local mental health hospital the first time around and he would be feeling better and less time and money would be wasted in having his case get kicked out of court.

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Flame

Proof of Concept

Here we see the net results of long-term exposure to the Apple Reality Distortion Field.

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Picture?

Let's see him then, if he is supposedly such a great model that the mafiosi can extort him and seemingly all the worlds electronics and vehicle manufacturers.

He must be really good at modelling.

BTW, googling his name does not produce as many picture results as i had hoped, so i want some definite answers here people!

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Silver badge

A title is required.

That guy needs to get himself a Zune

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WTF?

italian mafia?

so the italian mafia wanted him to model for a new york modeling agency?

i thought new york had its own mafia - is there anyone left these days that don't outsource? whatever next - indian companies putting their call centres in the UK?

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Dead Vulture

Congratulations

You've just publicly ridiculed what is clearly an unbalanced individual.

Way to help the public perception of mental illness.

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Black Helicopters

Where...

... is the tinfoil hat icon...?

The Mafia doesn't have any Black Helicopters.

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Black Helicopters

Erm...

Is it even conceivable that this guy isn't a complete nutjob? I mean, he couldn't really be any more paranoid. When this case gets thrown out of court, presumably he's going to accuse the judge and his attorney of also being in on the mafia plot. Where will it end?

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Bronze badge

This ought to be funny, but...

... I used to work with a paranoid schizoprhrenic who used to imagine things like this all the time. The first time you hear it it's funny, thereafter it's pitiful.

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Big Brother

Paranoid?

"Besides, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that someone - perhaps even the Italian Mafia - isn't out to get you."

Why is the name McKenna, so similar to self-confessed hacker McKinnon? Have they ever been seen in the same room with each other? No, so therefore they are one & the same person!

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Big Brother

Poor old chap,

Mafioso is everywhere these days :(

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Black Helicopters

The right man

We need this guy in politics! Send him straight to the Senate or better yet replace Judicial nominee Sotomayor with him. You can guarantee he will look out for the little guy. Hey, he couldn't do any worse than the rest of the group in D.C.

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Thumb Down

evidence based - just not the evidence the reporter likes

This man sounds as if he has the symptoms of schizophrenia, a very distressing medical condition. Upwards of 40% of people that have schizophrenia will attempt suicide at least once. Males with schizophrenia attempt suicide at a much higher rate than females; approximately 60% of them will make at least one attempt. The result of these attempts is that between 10% and 15% of people with schizophrenia have historically committed suicide. This is not a suitable subject for reporting in the mocking style chosen by your reporter.

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Starts off like Zoolander ends like Marathon Man

Paranoid Schizophrenia is not a laughing matter hope this poor guy gets some help before the lawyers suck him dry !

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A few sandwiches shy of a picnic?

More like he's missing not only some sandwiches, but condiments, napkins, and the picnic basket.

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Thumb Up

Lethal Ipod 1?

Is this guy for real? This has to be the funniest story I've read all week.

Forget James Bond, forget Die Hard. Truth really is stranger than fiction.

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Big Brother

Does he howl at the moon at night?

As he is obviously completely nuts or is just trying to bank some serious cash.

Perhaps he's in debt up to his eyeballs.

definitwely time to send in those dressed in white lab coats with a straightjacket.

Big bro icon selected as he is obviously paranoid but would prefer a howling Wolf please

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Jobs Horns

I knew Apple were up to something

Why can't the fanboys see is my way!

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Black Helicopters

"Its not for us to say"

>"Its not for us to say whether McKenna is a few sandwiches short of a picnic"

Bollocks, of course it is! This guy is the new Mike Corley!

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Black Helicopters

He IS the MI5 guy...

AICMFP

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WTF?

April Fools Day??

Umm (checks calendar) nope not the 1st and definately not April. Rik did Lester hijack your authors account? Because I understand you handel pretty much all Apple related news but come on. Even you had to have had the taste of bile in the back of your throat from this idiot. Though with how worried he is about things could this not be Aaron K. in disguise?

@Mike007

"i thought new york had its own mafia - is there anyone left these days that don't outsource? whatever next - indian companies putting their call centres in the UK?"

Wouldnt that be a story to read

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Badgers

Oh no! Someone made a funny at the expense of a loon!

Cry me a river.

You crybabies are worse than youtube sometimes.

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Big Brother

Medication time.

Boy, talk about a classic paranoid schizophrenic! I feel bad for all involved, just think of the poor mechanic who was just doing his job gets this person in their shop...

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Pint

Newsgroups will help

This guy should post his stories on Usenet. Under a running title to make them easily recognised. I don´t know, something catchy and original, like ¨MI5¨, maybe?

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Jobs Halo

Definitely an Apple Fanboy

I mean, he bought how many iPods, despite being threatened with death by each one? Personally I'd have gone for a different brand and saved myself the hassle.......

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Pint

webster phreaky

Has finally lost the plot.

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Stop

He belongs where I work

I work at a long term closed door mental health facility and hear stuff like that ALL the time from the residents.

Heres 3 examples.

One 75 year old African American women was running around with a picture of Rebeca Romain and saying it was a picture of her all while the demons in her head were telling her things.

We also had a guy that ripped his skin open due to believing that he had a transmitter shoved into him by aliens working with the CIA (I am NOT making any of this up).

We also have a person who thinks L Ron Hubbard was the most brilliant man alive and dianetics is the most thought profound book ever written and will spit on you if you disagree.

In the least he has severe schizophrenia. And I when schizophrenics snap I've seen everything from feces to billiard tables flung at employees or whoever they think is against them. And this is a place where we have control over what they can get a hold of. I would not want to be anywhere near this guy when he finally snaps because innocent people are going to get hurt. So this is not really a laughing matter IMO, but I do se why some people would laugh.

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My other concern

First; @aelfheld

> More like he's missing not only some sandwiches, but condiments, napkins, and the picnic basket.

I think he's also missing the obligatory ants and yellow jackets that accompany picnics.

OK, seriously, what if he reaches his limit and we next hear of him doing something like taking out a school full of grade school "mafia trainees"? I'm hoping that this is fairly old news and he is already getting the psychiatric care he needs before innocents suffer from his illness.

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Alien

A few sandwiches short of a picnic?

He's not just missing the sandwiches, he's missing the beer, the scotch eggs, the plates, the blanket, the cool bag, all of it.

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Fair Enough

OK, fair enough, the person in question has a number of mental health issues. This stops it being funny how? Slapstick is based on misfortune so if you laugh at that why should this be any different? Yes, the plaintiff is deluded and clearly needs help (as well as a tinfoil hat) but where's the problem in admitting this then simply laughing at the situation? Some people...

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Silver badge

Rational behaviour

I think we're all agreed the poor fellow is probably somewhat paranoid and somewhat terrified and is unlikely to find peace by sueing a hardware manufacturer or mechanic.

But he is acting pretty rationally considering his inputs are being distorted - he clearly *believes* that he hears bad things from Apple hardware, and to test his hypothesis he has tried a range of devices from that company. Of course the voices are closer to home, so even a generic MP3 player will have the same 'bug', but he hasn't realised this, and so truly believes Apple are part of the conspiracy - hey he's heard the evidence with his own ears. In that situation, assuming you didn't make the assumption you yourself were paranoid, wouldn't you sue for compensation? $100/day isn't that outrageous for a corporation making your life a misery like this, and you have clear evidence which you can audibly hear clear as day.

So aside from having his inputs confused, he seems to be acting pretty rationally. Imagine a distorting inputs filter, and schizophrenia becomes a lot more understandable - if the radio keeps calling you names, and tinfoil shuts it up, you wrap the radio in tinfoil - I would, you would, it's sane and rational considering the distorted inputs to the brain.

And the state of his mental health would explain a few things, I always thought you'd have ro be nuts to buy a mac.

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Go

Oh please...

paranoid schizophrenic? Some IT guys you are, Going straight for the bad CPU. Maybe hes just got a ringing in his ear that he thinks is a bug? This is a classic case of "Broken coffee cup holder". "NOBODY WILL FIX THE BROKEN COFFEE HOLDER ON MY COMPUTER! I'M GONNA SUE!"

And for those of you whining "this is no laughing matter" Get a grip, I bet you've never laughed at a dead baby joke either? Get off your selective morals and spin on it you morons. I bet he buys apple products because the store is a bright white room. ha!

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Unhappy

@Oh no! Someone made a funny at the expense of a loon! #

> Cry me a river.

> You crybabies are worse than youtube sometimes.

When you eventually go nuts, don't come crying to me. You won't get any sympathy.

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Anonymous Coward

I did not need that!

I just got in from a "smoke" around a mates, thought I'd have a quick read of El'Reg with a cuppa before bed.

As the title says, my state + that article = seriously tripping out! I think I will go to bed now before my iPod murders me! Wait a minute, I don't own an iPod, how'd you ge...argh!

AC for obvious reasons!

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Grenade

<cough>

"as would any right-minded citizen - called the St. Louis Police Department"

I spent 24 year in St. Louis. Calling StLPD is the last resort of a very desperate person.

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Terminator

Maybe the music was evil anyway

So you're saying "Cafe Style 1" WASN'T about killing Mr McKenna?

Then I've TOTALLY been missing the point of that song, all this time???

Duuuuuuuuude.....

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WTF?

@ kevin 6

You control what they can get access to and you let them have a billiards table. Sure, can't do any damage with that!

As for the 3rd guy. Spill the beans. Which actor are we talking about?

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Happy

@Kevin 6

"We also have a person who thinks L Ron Hubbard was the most brilliant man alive and dianetics is the most thought profound book ever written and will spit on you if you disagree."

Why haven't you got the whole of the Scientology crowd in your hospital then? :-)

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Go

call the SCO lawyers

He should call the SCO lawyers. They will take case if paid enough money. Besides Microsoft would be pleased to finance a case like that.

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Coat

i'm not from your world

the song he chose seems rather apt...

/away to go buy more To-Ka Project

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Mental health problems are *so* funny

In the 19th century, people used to visit lunatic asylums for entertainment. In the 21st, we can get the same thrills over the web! And it's OK, because seriously ill people in pitiful states of misery and distress are still funny.

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hmmm

and i thought the subliminal message on ipods was

Buy more macs were worth the extra 15%, windows will get a virus

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Gold badge
WTF?

Those picnic sandwiches.

Maybe. But it appears he's gone OTT on the fruitcake.

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@ John Tserkezis

"When you eventually go nuts, don't come crying to me. You won't get any sympathy."

I won't. You don't have the legal clout needed in the appropriate universe to hear, digest and act upon my complaints against my un-elected multi-tentacled overlord and the 4-headed minions he sends to dig up my geraniums nightly, whilst I'm hiding in my dustbin, like some sort of dirty-wizard.

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Unhappy

But he can't be insane...

...because the attorney that filed his suit must have examined it closely and formed the opinion that it was valid and that there was a reasonable chance of success?

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Coat

I think ...

... he has quite the future as a global warming advocate.

Mine's the one with double thinsulate lining for the coldest July on record.

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Bronze badge

Poor show, El Reg

Let's all laugh at the crazy man, eh?

The least you could have done was remove his name. No legal obligation to do so, you say? So what? The story would have been as funny/disgustingly tasteless (delete as appropriate) but it would have at least been easier for the guy to get over it when this has all been resolved one way or the other.

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@TJ 3

No, I haven't laughed at a dead baby joke.

But then I'm not a prick.

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Dead Vulture

Not funny

One of my family members suffers from paranoid schizofrenia.

He had a 10 year remission until recently, and now sees signs in clocks, hears things on the radio and TV and isn't capable of holding a rational conversation for more than a couple of sentences.

I know, it sounds amusing, but this is a real person who's living in a personal hell and with no way out. His life is completely and utterly shit.

There are genuinely funny stories out there. This article doesn't present one. It's completely infantile.

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