back to article Whining serial commentard bemoans Reg bullying

It appears serial Reg poster Aaron Kempf doesn't much like the taste of his own bitter medicine, and has written to "request that you do not harrass [sic] me online". It was a crisp October morn last year when Kempf savagely laid into Reg hack Chris "Fucking pansy" Williams with a couple of unholy turdspurts about this piece …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

  1. Craig 12

    Aaron Kempf

    Am I still allowed to harass Aaron Kempf online? I think we need a database here to keep track of what people can and cannot do to Aaron Kempf.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Loser

    Never heard of this Mein Kampf fella.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Aw leave the poor boy alone

    Too bad. I guess jokes about Palin's database would be out of line here? No???? OK!

    Q: How do you tell that Sarah Palin has filled her intellectual database?

    A: She quits working.

    Oh the hand grenade is for the winey b#$%$.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Hmmm...

    He's off to a good start with multiple bangs and the f-word, and the paranoia and ethnic slurs look quite flamy.

    But the quality of the flame quickly drops off after that. Where are the ALL CAPS, spleling eros, etc.? This smut is not worth more than, oh, 3 flames out of 6. And that's me being generous. He needs quite a bit of training before he can count himself one of the truly great flamers of today.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Unholy turdspurt

    If Aaron Kempf loves databases so much why doesn't he go live there?

  6. K
    Thumb Up

    el-reg = el-kitty??

    Meow.. get those claws into him.. nice :)

  7. Grease Monkey Silver badge

    Typical Troll-tard

    So it amounts to "I can say what I want about anybody but nobody can say anything bad about me."

    Fucking pansy. What's he afraid of?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think we should start a Kampf database

    We can track his moves across the interspazz and use it to warn other users.

    Of course, as he's not scared of databases he won't mind at all that every time he pops up on a website 50 Reg commentards start to bombard him with messages...

  9. Miek
    Linux

    A Title is Required Here

    "No wonder you guys are no longer a super-power. Super-Powers aren't scared of a fucking database."

    El Reg still has Super Powers if you ask me ;)

  10. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    RE: Aaron Kempf

    ".....what people can and cannot do to Aaron Kempf." By the looks of things, some people have already been committing mucho, mucho abusive acts on Mr Kempf.

  11. DZ-Jay

    I'm not scared of databases...

    Unless it's used to keep in velociraptors.

    -dZ.

  12. Tom 94
    FAIL

    This guy...

    ...makes me laugh - what a complete goon!! Aaron, if you're reading this, get a life, and stop being a gomper - seriously, you're just making yourself sound like a complete and utter tool!

    Aaron = FAIL!

  13. Admiral Grace Hopper
    Badgers

    Unfortunately,

    I, for one, will be unable to forget about Aaron, he springs to mind every time I fiddle with one of those death-dealing databases, That's the only problem with the intertubes, it all too readily turns an eejit like Kempf into a deathless meme.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    You can harass me if you like

    It would validate my otherwise pathetic existence.

  15. dunncha
    Megaphone

    Who the *uck is Aaron Kempf

    enough said!

    Shouty Shouty because the empty can makes the most noise

  16. deadlockvictim

    Databases can be very scary

    I don't know. I've seen some monsters in my time - DBs designed to reflect the previous flat-file system with one table per flatfile and all columns in text (now probably unicode to allow for Chinese names of cows or some such thing). To top it off it was forbidden to make any structural changes because it would make front-end app would cry. New indexes were also, for some reason, not allowed.

    Then being asked to make the datawarehouse-esque query run with as little impact on the DB-server as possible.

    I would like to officially end this thread by noting the similarity of the aforementioned flamer with the title of a work by a mister A. Hitler from 1925.

  17. Steven 33

    ROFL

    That is all.

  18. RichyS

    'Tards

    I, for one, have added Kempf to my database of f*ckwitts...

  19. Z 1
    Heart

    Bloody idiot

    Give him what for, Lester!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    hee hee

    what's he worried about? Surely he has nothing to hide, after all it's only a bit of text in a database displayed on a pc....<Grin>

  21. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Online Harressment

    By his own fair hand it looks like Aaron admits to doing a bit of Harrassment himself.

    From The Reg comments

    [Quote]

    "re: Yes, you can be arreseted for threatening to kill people #

    By Aaron Kempf Posted Friday 1st August 2008 14:40 GMT

    I know that you _CAN_ be arrested for threatening people.

    I just think that it is consistently overplayed.

    I got arrested for threatening someone on UseNet last summer.

    I think that it's the biggest scam ever.

    To think-- that some dude would take this fruitcake seriously-- is beyond belief"

    [/Quote]

  22. Geoff Mackenzie

    I'm not going to harass him

    but I have put him in my database. Shouldn't be a problem, though, eh? I'm not a Muslim.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    contact deets

    If the answer to Craig 12's question is "yes", can we have contact deets? I have some pent-up frustration and 4chan is down >.<

  24. Rob Moss
    Black Helicopters

    Wow

    I've just been having a little look on Google for "Aaron Kempf" and, it must be said, the results are hilarious. Aaron, you can't have it both ways mate, if you're going to abuse people, expect to get some abuse in return.

    I hereby request that El Reg continues to harass Aaron Kempf online as much as possible. Preferably with a massive database. Run away, Aaron! The databases are coming! The databases are coming!

  25. imposter
    Troll

    mein kempf?

    I'm not sure a public response to a public statement, in a way that he'd only find if he went to the public place is harassment.

    Clearly he's a figure of riducule not ire and while a more mature (I said more, not outright, though I'm sure we all wind people up for a laugh occasionally) troll would accept their fate, when banned or turned round most trolls whine. He's just trying, pathetically to turn it into the reg being the big bully, when he's clearly just upset it went wrong.

    I found the last article on him losing it veryamusing.

  26. Richard Hebert
    Coat

    beer time

    Really .. his foul mouth needs a good squirt of toilet cleaner and brush.

    We should be allowed to harass him online till his Mother tells us he's learned

    his lesson. Meanwhile .. im going for a few cold ones.

    Ric

  27. Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!
    Happy

    Can we not start a tracking site?

    You know for the databases to keep track of him...

    The following are available...

    aaronkempf.com

    aaronkempf.co.uk

    aaronkempf.net

    aaronkempf.eu

    aaronkempf.biz

    aaronkempf.info

    aaronkempf.me.uk

    aaronkempf.org.uk

    aaronkempf.org

    aaronkempf.mobi

  28. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    See that little box up there?

    The one marked 'Post anonymously'?

    Anonymous means that people won't know your name; you can write what you want without fear of reprisals or online harassment.

    You'd have to be a complete moron to use your own name when viciously flaming people.

    That or a total Kempf-head.

    FAIL. For the obvious reasons.

  29. Mark Wills
    FAIL

    LMAO

    "I'd rather have a woman than a Muslim"

    Ergo, there are no female Muslims. LMFAO.

  30. Scott Mckenzie
    Megaphone

    Now then...

    ...about Webster Phreaky and his Kool Aid.

  31. ed2020

    Usenet

    This little knobstretch is a regular poster in a number of usenet groups and other forums that I frequent. Generally he posts the same abusive response, slightly reworded, to anyone who expresses an opinion that does not agree with his own.

    He's an idiot who loves to get a reaction and is best just ignored.

  32. Andy Enderby 1
    Thumb Up

    big tool

    I think Mr Grease Monkey has it about right. Mr Kempf is found guilty of massive toolness.

  33. Miek
    Linux

    More Title Loveliness

    Just Google Him, he's a complete knob :

    http://www.tech-archive.net/Archive/DotNet/microsoft.public.dotnet.languages.vb/2007-01/msg02607.html

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Phobias

    Fear of Databases ?

    What about a Database of Fears ?

    http://www.online-hypnotherapist.com/phobias_list.php?by=name

    According to AK, I guess El Reg has something I will christen (and trademark - you have been warned) "essqueuellophobia".

    Pints all round for the Reg crew. Mine's a bitter.

  35. Ian 11

    What do you expect?

    Not encountered his posts before, but judging by this article he's an American and a Republican.

    In other words, he's the worst kind of idiot.

  36. Edward Noad
    FAIL

    He Never Said...

    ...not to harass him offline, but then he does seem to have his own definition for the word "harrass".

    Let's get that database up and running, preferably using distributed open-source community-supported cloudware, then use it to capture, user-tag and geo-locate everything he ever does so a world-wide community, connected using viral marketeering, can share the workload (via aggregated Twitter, Podcasts and Wikiforums) to universally "HarRass" him, simultaneously incentivizing the maintenance of optimum efficiency and thus generating the smallest carbon footprint possible to deliver a dynamic example of just how green an integrated harassment mashup policy can be using Internetworked HarRassment 2.0.

    ...

    Oh god, I think I just threw up.

  37. DirkGently
    Joke

    Meme

    Incident Report

    Priority: 1 (affecting all users)

    Subject: Getting spurious errors

    Cause: Database is kempfed

  38. Gareth.
    Grenade

    The Fucktard of the Year Award Goes to..... Aaron Kempf

    Hehehe, Aaron Kempf is an anagram of Prank Me Oaf..... from his comments, he sounds like a fucking stupid oaf. The most stupider of stupid oafs on the interweb, quite possibly.

    I think El Reg should start selling Aaron Kempf t-shirts, proclaiming, "the Databases are Coming, the Databases are Coming!!!" or "Databases Never Hurt Nobody" (does that double-negative mean that they did hurt somebody if they didn't 'hurt nobody'...?).

    This time next year, Rodney, we'll be millionaires!

  39. Adam Salisbury
    Coat

    He won't be happy...

    I get the impression he'll go away once his precious databases come in the inflatable, wide mouthed and astonished looking variety!

    I wanna harrass him all over interwebs to the point at which he stontaenously combusts because with all those flames...

    Mine's the one with "Medical Treatments For Acute SQL Posioning" in the pocket

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Looks like a angry fellow...

    After a google search seems like a very angry fellow ...looks like one too:

    http://www.linkedin.com/in/aaronkempf

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    On Aaron Kempf

    Anyone who thinks that he can spout the garbage he's spewed needs a lesson, and repeatedly. Nothing Kempf has said so far has sounded anything like an apology, or even the recognition that's he's capable of acting like a halfway decent human being.

    Reap what you sow indeed. Try putting something nice into the world and see what you get back, sir.

  42. Number6

    The Problem is Obvious

    A quick run through some of the Google hits and it's obvious. He's running a corrupt[*] version of SQL server and it's fried his brain. Perhaps he should switch to MySQL?

    He certainly has an interesting view on the world and it's kept me entertained this Friday lunchtime.

    [*] is this word redundant?

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    He's already on a database.

    Just google the fuktard and you'll see his general attitude is that of a trolltard.

    Most of his answers are basically that of just calling someone names rather than an actual debate or exchange of information (any bets he's a foxnews viewer?)

    And most of his answers are that of someone who's been educated via the back of a cerial box.

    Anyway I hope El Reg continues to post any response's from people like this, as they tend to be cowards who only carry on in this way if they think they have some sort of support but will usually go away crying if someone stands up to them - as case in point.

  44. The Dorset Rambler
    Coffee/keyboard

    Thank you, thank you, thank you

    It's Friday, I've got my father's day Ska cd's on full blast, and you give me this.

    Heaven.

  45. Rob
    Go

    Don't be too harsh on him

    We don't want him to disappear from the web otherwise the rest of us wouldn't have someone to bait and tease when we're bored.

    I for one can't stand cruelty to animals so when a turdtard like this appears it's obviously for the rest of our amusement, you've got to give some people a purpose otherwise they are a drain on humanity by not contributing anything, he falls nicely into this category.

  46. Dr. Mouse

    Godwin's Law in action

    And only 5 comments in. Impressive!

    "I would like to officially end this thread by noting the similarity of the aforementioned flamer with the title of a work by a mister A. Hitler from 1925."

    Back on topic, Mr. Kempf: If you can't take it, don't give it!

    I will add my request to the others for his contact details, so we can further extract the urine without clogging up el Reg's database.... I mean comments section.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Oh dear...

    Clearly his commentardedness isn't confined to just the reg...

    http://www.cnet.com/8705-4_1-0.html?username=Aaron+Kempf

    http://www.excelforum.com/1022439-post13.html

    This guy actually has a job?

  48. northern monkey
    Happy

    Favourite Rant

    Of the rants I've found so far the one below contains an utter gem from Aaron, and one I find very tempting:

    "GAG ME WITH A SPOON"

    from

    http://www.excelforum.com/excel-general/384823-the-best-elegant-solution-to-override-65k-rows-limit-in-a-sheet.html

    I wonder if he's managed to find another job yet after his little '10mbit router issue'

    http://www.tech-archive.net/Archive/DotNet/microsoft.public.dotnet.languages.vb/2007-01/msg02129.html

    Given employers preference for a quick google I doubt anyone would take the risk!!

  49. david 63
    Thumb Up

    AC 10:48

    LinkedIn - nuff said?

  50. Another Anonymous Coward 1

    Nice...

    Thanks to this article... if I ever want to get my name in a headline I now know exactly what to do. ;)

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.