We at Vulture Central were a mite surprised to learn recently of the TechCrunch "CrunchPad", which has got the technosphere into a bit of a tizz with its promise of couch computing delivered via an 18mm aluminium chassis, Linux and "Webkit based browser". Actually, surprised isn't the half of it, because Vulture Central's …
I'm unfamiliar with some of the technologies employed here
but will it play Crysis?
Biscuits and Porn
Does it get any better?
I'm sure there will be plenty of suggestions, but I feel that in this case, more would actually be less. Freeze the spec and ship the product.
I want one!
No, I want several.
And the killer feature is....
The biscuit dispenser!
(hope they're all rich tea)
Gimme gimme gimme!
I want one of those...
...will it be available with Chrome OS?
We love you Lester. :D
I want one
So how many decades pre order for the stripped down production model :)
Is this true!
I want one :D
Slow day in the office was it?
Now El Reg just needs a like button (for when we're too lazy to actually comment that we enjoyed the article)
A brilliant idea
"(Please note that the RegPad Flex™ is not supplied with a biscuit-dispenser, for obvious technical reasons.)"
Perhaps if they were pre-dunked in the coffee........?
you were onto a winner
until you mentioned phorm.
/esc icon for obvious reasons.
...but these images are quite clearly photoshopped.
slow news day?
still, it made me laugh.
Can I place an advance order for 4 of them?
Ha ha, hold on, it's Wednesday... :(
Shouldn't this be in Reg Hardware?
Now you've done it
My PHB wants me to get him one.
TOTALLY EFFING BRILLIANT.
Need I say more?
Dear Sirs, we at Apple have patented this design, with patents dated 10th July 2010, and hereby fortwith thereby demand you remove these products from sale posthaste, immediatly, without undue delay, now, as we believe you are infringing on our product, the iWantone.
Was it developed in the Congo?
I salute you.
Can I pre-order/
Hold on- where is she?
Everyone knows the reason the Eee was so successful was that the Reg only ever featured the netbook with it's beach-loving best friend.
If you want to dominate the World, the RegPad will also need its own nubile handler. Have you seen if Paris is available for photos and fondling?
I *SO* want one of these, but...
...no 20 MP web-cam?
...and can it be hacked to run OS XI?
Well 'Ard Drive?
Owing to the pliable nature of the device will there be the usual 5TB fag-packet sized drive in weapons-grade titanium?
Slapping a cow-orker in the pub with a floppy computer is O.K. but there are occasions where a matching blunt instrument would be more appropriate.
(Also easier to hold for Ms Campbell)
Can I upgrade
to choccy hobnobs?
Where's the damned tea!?!?!
This is an excellent idea, and I heartily congratulate you! I would like to place orders for 5.
However I am shocked that this unit has a coffee button. I need tea dammit! Coffee is only a necessity when you've run out of caffeine pills or have a nice cigar to hand.
Also I've noticed that we've got a beer icon, but where's the tea?
I hope it it IP65 full compliant!
I has to be full-waterproof, coffeproof, droolproof (boring meetings). And it should self-recharge like an automatic swiss wristwatch. Etherkiller(tm) as gift inside the package!
First Splash Flash Fast Cash Machinery .... and bound to be bound and huge in China
Now that is what I would call ... Shockingly Awesome Spaceware. And if it doesn't take off like a Korean rocket, and Capture and make Captive All Native Markets, well, I'm a dDutchman.
And is Mandy f**king %*#! and Meez Campbell's bitch? ...... a hot question for all the lightweight readers and sniffers and fluffers and lurkers.
Nice One, El Reg, ........ Straight out of the Blue Cloud with Zero Recognisable Radar Signature .... Super Sub Atomic Stealth by Anyone's Definition.
The RegPad .... AIReal Manpad.
What types of biscuit is the dispenser compatable with? From the pics it looks like it will support the industry standard digestive, but what about more exotic types like custard cream and ginger nut?
Look this is ridiculous...
...I'm having terrible trouble believing all this, Its some kind of a joke, right? I mean how can you expect anybody to believe this!? Utterly up-in-the-air. Total Whacko Jacko (RIP).
You see I'd expect the biscuits to come included for that flippin price!
Aaaahh you see what I did there!? ;-)
Time for Beer.
NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW is when I'l like one please, unless someone has a handy time machine to deliver it even earlier?
Thanks el reg for brightening up an otherwise dull and awful day.
Is there a veggie option?
Hmmmm... extremely tempting, but...
I'll wait for the Smartphone. You know, the one with a 'Pub' mode that changes your voicemail message to "I'm working late on a really important project right now..."
Where can I get one?
And how much money do you want?
Thank you thank you Reg! Long time no such laugh! Ржунимагу!
Biscuits and porn
Soggy Biscuit anyone?
That is all...
I want several
But, a slimline biscuit dispenser? Does this mean there's no room for a Jaffa cake?
Do something for the ladies of IT, Make it absorbent and put wings on it
Do we have to do this again? A Jaffa Cake is not a biscuit!! It is a cake hence the name Jaffa "Cake"
That is all.
I am crying with laughter and people are giving me Funny Looks.
Kudos given where Kudos is deserved.
The Universal Instantly Recognisable SurReal Unoffensive Ambiguity of the Porn Icon is worthy of a Prize all of its Own. :-) And it is no surprise I suppose, that it is in a Prime Control Position at the Top of the Device.
I want one
...but not until they can be folded up and turned into hats.
Being a little bit bendy is not enough.
<- Grammar Nazi becuase he is wearing a hat
Something is Missing Shirley?
I do not see the works "DON'T PANIC!" anywhere.
Also I am concerned because there appears to be an IT angle. Shirley some mistake?
pint o' beer, biccies and creampie - what more can you ask for?
those bloody grey bars...
Nice to see even you guys find them annoying...
"Boss key" on the right-hand side? FAIL!!!
The "Abort porn website surfing and return to SFW mode" should be on the lefthand side, not where it's currently located. Need I spell out the reasons for this?
Or is the leftie minority trying to discriminate against us, the righthanded majority?
a couple of suggestions
One parochial: if you're going to break into the US market you need to replace the "bacon sarnie" function with something more American. Over Here, British cooking is known only to be loathed, and sarnies have not got even that far.
One functional: surely El Reg can get a DARPA grant to implement the biomass-fueled technology and so
a. break free of battery dependence. On long flights one could then actually have a use for airline food. Or, if airline food really isn't biomass (not clear), perhaps sensitive bits from the guy in front who jacks his seat back into your knees.
b. It could serve also as a desk-scavenger, cleaning up the crumbs and such that accumulate around many a tech's working area.
Can I be the first ?
What, no Linux option?