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back to article Too thick to boil an egg? Buy 'em preboiled

Having been relieved of the burden of having to make a jam sandwich, those without either the time or the intellectual capacity for basic culinary tasks can now avail themselves of the latest word in labour-saving foodstuffs: Preboiled free range eggs. Happy Egg Company pack of preboiled eggs Yup, the Happy Egg Company will, …

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Paris Hilton

Is this notable?

I'm sure you've been able to buy boiled eggs as a lunch snack in the supermarket in the same fridge where you get pasties and scotch eggs. Am I missing something?

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Flame

One can only hope...

...They're too dim to be able to put food in their face holes.

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Silver badge

You're yolking right???

Nuff said. Crap pun.

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Well

We already have pre-cooked sausages. Why not eggs too?

I don't personally carry a saucepan and portable stove when mooching around town. Even so, perhaps I might feel a lunch time urge to partake of a snack eggy. Perhaps with said cold sausages. Add some bread and you merely eating the ingredients for a scotch egg anyway, without it having been fried.

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IT Angle

Good for paraplegics etc

Seems excessive, but for people with certain disabilities boiling an egg could well be quite a hassle.

An apple in cling film on a polystyrene tray, labelled "citrus product", as one motorway service station saw fit, seems more offensive.

And, yes, not quite sure where the IT angle is for this, although it's way too obvious I know...

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Pre-boiled eggs.

Can they be re-heated?

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IT Angle

The douche that laid the golden egg

People are so goddamned lazy that this product will probably be a massive hit.

IT angle?

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Joke

So....

Who's going to be the first person to write to the company congratulating them on what a wonderful product they have, inquiring how they make the eggs so round, but requesting they make them runny and in the hard white packets next time since they bought the eggs to make an omelet, only were unable to do so in spite of several attempts by them and their mother/friend/boss/doctor useing instructions from a number of different recipe books?

Preferably in the style of AMFM.

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Paris Hilton

Endian issue

Do the instructions say which end to eat first? If not, I'll have to find my pre-boiled/shelled eggs elsewhere.

Paris, because she probably couldn't boil an egg.

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Anonymous Coward

How can it be boiled to perfection ?

When its cold. Boiled to perfection means cooked white and hot runny yoke....

HOMER MODE. Hmmmmmm yolk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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WTF?

I give up

I give up. I despair. I've lost the will to live. And the worst thing is some fuckwit will buy them.

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Paris Hilton

Shelled! What the hell do you mean?

Are you really trying to teach us that the hard exterior can be removed BEFORE eating. I just thought they were naturally crunchy.

Next you'll be telling us there's a way to drink wine without having to suck it through the cork.

You learn something new every day.

./Paris. Because when asked, "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" She just cried because her head hurt.

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Paris Hilton

We're doomed.

How can someone NOT have "the knack" of boiling an egg?

In the time Joe Moron would take to figure out how to order his pre-boiled eggs and have them delivered to his nearest Asda, drive there, queue to pay for them, drive back (how do these people pass a driving test BTW?) , and unpack them from their unnatural plastic container, poor feckless Joe could have actually BOILED THEIR OWN EGGS and shelled them! And what's the betting the packing is harder to open than the "inconvenient" shell anyway?

Do such people really exist? If so, how likely is it that they will have sufficient noggin to be discerning enough to care about the free range provenance of the eggs they're about to eat (subject to half-hour round trip to go and buy them)?

Doomed I tells ya :D

Paris, cos even she wouldn't need to buy this product.

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Well

You will have the supermarker providing your with the "Bread soldiers" next to dip into it......

Picture it now 1 slice of bread £1 please.....

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Unhappy

I swear that several years back

in M&S in Inverness I saw peeled oranges packed in plastic bags on sale.

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Not too bad an idea, actually.

It does sound quite useful for impromptu picnics and suchlike and it's not really that expensive.

Yes, it's not cheap, but the price is roughly similar to that of six free range fresh eggs. Fresh eggs have a long shelf life and high demand. Hard boiled eggs have a shorter shelf life and lower demand due to the more limited number of uses.

I could probably think of a number of things that really are supremely lazy even if the only cooking equipment you possess is a microwave. Pre made baked potatoes with filling are probably top of that list. The blasphemy that is any form of squeezable bottle sauce. Preprepared vegetables (washed spinach, carrot batons, but not pre-made stir fries : they're actually more economic than buying the individual ingredients in supermarkets. madness.). etc.

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I'd buy it.

Makes sense really, 30p premium or so per egg to save the hassle of...

Filling kettle, putting it on, waiting for it to boil, taking it off, putting on hob, adding egg carefully, waiting for it to cook, taking it out, putting it under cold water for a bit, then carefully spending the next minute or so peeling off the damn shell and all the fiddly little bits that get left on if you mess it up.

So, 30p to save 2 minutes of effort.

For these eggs to be worthwhile on a logical "time = money" basis, you would have to be earning over £9/hour. For anyone earning less than that, boiling your own eggs is a much more sensible investment.

I also like those little cheese slices (not american cheese), and pre-chopped/ peeled/ washed carrots.. much less faffing about involved.

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This seems like too much work for me...

Can someone please start producing pre-digested food for me so I can skip the time consuming eating and digesting part so I can just put the food straight in the toilet?

(Shamelessly stolen from a Ben Elton routine from a few years back)

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FAIL

I'm simply stunned

That this country has grown so thick that even boiling an egg is beyond them.

This could actually work well as a tactic to route out the dregs of the gene pool. Anyone purchasing this should be arrested at the till, taken out the back and shot.

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Never mind the preboiled egg...

what about the pre-grated cheese?

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Anonymous Coward

Odds and Sods

As mentioned all the time Odd's and Sod's dont need a IT angle!

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Thumb Down

Shelf life?

Eggs don't keep once they're boiled. Raw eggs keep well even without refrigeration.

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Megaphone

That's eggceptional.

Well not really I just wanted to say it.

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Not new

I have a big jar of pickled eggs at home.......Slurp!

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Coat

Prior art...?

Jars of pickled eggs? Eggs wrapped in sausage or mystery meat? Or did I miss something?

Paris...because she likes her eggs covered in tatty water.

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"pre" boiled?

As the prefix "Pre" means BEFORE, surely a preboiled egg is an egg before it's been boiled. Or, in fact, just "an egg". If it's also been shelled I would hope it arrives in a little plastic bag.

A few years ago, the idea of someone selling boiled eggs would have been surprising. Today, it's rather "meh". I know catering wholesalers have been offering such for a long time. Sandwich shops will happily buy cheap, boiled, shelled eggs for making egg-mayo etc. But at 45p per egg, I can't really see these taking off.

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what about

the toast?! where can i buy a piece of toast to go with it??!? whats the matter with these people FFS!!

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could be worse...

Aunt Bessies are selling frozen jacket potatoes... I mean it's a potato... stick it in the oven, it's not rocket surgery :P

I wouldn't mind if you could nuke it in the microwave for 3 mins for a nice crispy spud, but no, you have to cook it in the oven for almost as long as you would anyway... basically, it's a frozen potato, sheesh!!

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Missed a trick

If you wish for people to pick up these as a healthy alternative snack, you've missed a trick: It needs to be sold with a little dip of salad cream. Hard boiled eggs on their own are too dry.

This is making me hungry.

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Unhappy

Been there already

@AC 14:59 You can buy eggs like this in Japan, but they come with the shell still on, imagine our disappoint when we went to make fried eggs for breakfast one morning and find out some bastard's already boiled them. In my defense, the packaging was all in Japanese ... although the fish sausage we bought by accident was slightly worse ...

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Pint

Pickled eggs

FTW.

They're the only sort of hard boiled eggs worth bothering with. Pandora for preference, although Im not that fussy.

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Free range eggs

In so much non-recycleable plastic packaging that it makes an Easter egg look eco-friendly. They've a curious demographic, that they're after, and that's for sure! I hope the eggs come, as illustrated on the outside of the packaging - already sliced in half - or they could be done under the trade's description act. After all, it's so hard to slice a hard boiled egg in half without at least one of the yokes crumbling and falling out.

Mind you, the packaging looks so infernally byzantine, it probably requires so much brute force to get at the eggs, that there's nothing but yellow power and white rubbery stuff, left, by the time you're done.

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Terminator

@Robert Ramsay

I'd rather do the washing up resulting from boiling eggs than grating cheese.

Terminator 'cos it's had a nasty skin removal incident as well.

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Bronze badge

I'm sure I have prior art

<http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/02/18/jam_sarnie/comments/#c_430864>

Still reckon off-the-peg jam sarnie punting beats all.

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Pre-whatevered food

So, how long until someone takes this to its logical conclusion and markets "pre-digested food" for the hungry executive on the go who doesn't have time for all that tedious chewing, swallowing, and peristalsis?

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Anonymous Coward

I'm all for it

"A fool and his money..."

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JCL

eggs 'n' that

@Duncan Hothersall, I saw them in London - peeled oranges and sliced apples. I also saw an egg sandwich filling that had "Caution, may contain eggs" on the side. Then there's the very very long egg that they put into the middle of pork pies, not to mention "cheese substitute" and predigested cheese-style paste (cheez wizz).

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Forget to think before posting anyone?

So, all you clever people always make a packed lunch when travelling? Even when you're on expenses, it's last minute, or you're not sure how long you'll be gone? Or do you carry a stove and a pan instead?

Are people stupid for going to restaurants, chip shops, or takeaways?

Yes, the article pitching these as being for people too stupid to boil an egg was funny, but there are clearly other reasons than stupidity and laziness to buy these.

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@Bassey

Pre- does mean before, but it can either mean "before being boiled" or "boiled beforehand". The latter use has been increasingly popular, but it's not strictly a neologism. People have been pre-heating their ovens for a long time.

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IR

Whatever next?

Soon you'll be able to buy cups of tea or coffee, already made. And orange juice, without having to squeeze oranges. Etc.

The world is crazy.

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Happy

What came first?

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Actually, the rooster did.

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Alert

Yuck

I saw some cooked mashed potato in Tesco the other day. This country is getting so incapable, people are going to have to have devices to tell them to breathe in and out...

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Silver badge

Hopefully...

These will be placed alongside the pre-peeled oranges (no really) and bottled water, so the terminally stupid don't have to wander too far from the carers.

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Unhappy

Well if your all going to be all serious

It's an way of selling grade 2 eggs which have less attractive shells at better then grade 1 prices.

That was even boring to write.

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That's un oeuf egg puns

That is all.

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The latest variant of the old Linda Smith gag

"Tuna flakes: for people too stupid to use a fork"

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Better than a deep fried mars bar

Good idea and not just for the lazy people. Known some body builders who eat a lot of hard boiled eggs, 20+ per day so it generally makes sense for them. Also seems better than the rest of the crap that is on offer as on the move munchies, it's difficult to ruin a hard boiled egg after all.

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Anonymous Coward

@Peter Kay

Same price as raw free range eggs. You don't support you local farmers market do you? I buy 6 extra large free range eggs for £1.20 (20p each) at £1.49 for 4 that's (38p each) or nearly twice the price.

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Pint

Cannibalism

Did anyone look at the "story" on the web site? That chicken is boiling her children alive!

Something like that would be great for making a big plate of perfect deviled eggs for a party.

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Alert

'Free range' or 'free to roam'

"free to roam on green pasture and are equipped with perching platforms and sandpits to enhance the birds' natural surroundings"

Are they crammed in a large shed, fed food & water (but free to nip out of the little hole in the wall to find sandpits & perches where food & water is not provided)?

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