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back to article Russians demand flying cars and telepathy

Pravda is offering an entertaining insight into just what Russians consider must-haves for the forthcoming century – a list which naturally includes flying cars, cheap space travel and the elixir of eternal youth. A poll by the Russian National Centre for Public Opinion Studies asked the unwashed masses what they considered the …

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I'll have the lot (except telepathy)...

...which would be awful.

And can we have light speed travel before immortality please? Otherwise we're going to be really fucked.

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Paris Hilton

"Perpetuum mobile"

I suspect they mean "perpetual motion" in a badly-translated kind of way.

You'll not that not a single one of them wanted to have Paris Hilton. Seems like Russians and readers of El Reg are very different.

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Happy

If you have teleportation ...

... why do you need flying cars ?

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Pint

'Sobvious

Elixir of youth! Human immortality might sound OK, but as I'm decrepit at 59 (so my son tells me) - what's the point of being 559 and even more decrepit?

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Dead Vulture

The Unwashed

Quite evidently, the Russian unwashed masses know that perpetuum mobile is Latin, meaning “perpetual motion” e.g. an engine that never stops. Should have been not that difficult to figure out for a washed Englishman me thinks.

Yours sincerely,

Unwashed Russian.

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Silver badge

How about...

...a none of the above button.

I desire an Aston Martin.

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CD001

Pah! Where's the eco-catastrophe/human extinction option, eh? eh?

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Alien

You are missing the Holodeck...

That is all we need...

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Paris Hilton

Perpetuum mobile

don't know what it is so it must be worth having!

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WTF?

pertuum mobile

Could it be perpetual motion? In the UK you'd struggle to find 6% of the population that know what it means, let alone want it.

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Boffin

Light-speed vehicles are crap...

...imagine being stuck in a can for four years just to visit Alpha Centauri. And that's without the return flight.

I want Faster-Than-Light space flight, available for everyone, powered by alternative fuels, controlled by artificial intelligence. A perpetuum mobile on board would be fine, the more Rube-Goldbergesque the better, though I suspect that some law of thermodynamics or other might need to be rephrased first. Also, teleportation for visits on alien planets where I would zip around in my flying car. No time machine, thank you, those just create nasty paradoxes.

Although, artificial intelligence alone would be fine for starters. Plenty of people seem to need some implanted asap.

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Anonymous Coward

what a suprise on what is top.

I am guilty of voting for it as well.

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Silver badge

@Ted Treen

I'll take immortality. That way I might live long enough to get perpetual youth.

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Joke

Perpetuum Mobile?

I want the cheloinian mobile!

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Time Machine or Immortality

If you choose either of those, you'll get the rest anyway.

I chose Time Machine, as I'd get them a whole lot quicker.

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FAIL

So what about that robot butler?

You should have improved the poll if you ask me.

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why flying cars?

because they would be fun and I could park one in my garage.

thats why.

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I'd have thought

...with all the focus on that list on healing illness, repairing organs and living forever, a larger planet, food replicators and/or human sterilisation had better be pretty near the top of most peoples wish lists.

I don't fancy living for ever on a planet with a couple of hundred billion others all fighting over the last remaining scraps of food.

Oh, and for me it has to be teleportation. I could teleport into the bosses office, slap him across his smug little face and be out of there again before he realised what had happened.

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Anonymous Coward

We already have...

...people perpetually on their mobiles.

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Paris Hilton

I WIN!

F5 made my choice win... Paris because she likes having her button pressed lots.

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Boffin

I get bored easily

So can I have my bloody jetpack now to keep me amused while I wait for the rest?

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Megaphone

Perpetuum mobile

I've seen a few - how people can talk on the phone for what seems like for ever escapes me...

Megaphone for what some people think they're using; HELLO! I'M ON THE TRAIN, etc

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Pint

spaceflights for all?

Its bad enough that the lower orders are allowed on aeroplanes!

"...to seek out fights with new worlds and civilisations; to boldly puke where no chav stag party has puked before"

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Anonymous Coward

They all sound like the starting point for a horror film to me

I suppose light-speed travel would be fairly safe.

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AI?

We already have AI! It's just not great.

There should have been a Skynet option.

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Go

Even better...

Gimme a time machine now, and I'll hop forward & pick up the "dummies guides" for how to do the rest...

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FPTP

El Reg sporting first past the post? Tsk. I voted for lightspeed travel, so I can swan off and leave the stinking mess of humanity behind me. But I'd rather like to live a long time (this would be a massive disaster if it was created at present, resources are stretched anyway)

World Peace wasn't on there either (that'd be some sort of mass-extinction ray)

Settle for alternative fuel (or more efficeint PV panels) though.

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Sights set too high

I'd settle for an operating system that works. All the time.

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Rigged???

When is someone going to catch on that you can vote more than once from the same IP!!!

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Paris Hilton

Flying high

You know - i think Fly cars are going to win it.

: Because everyone can join the mile hight club

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Pint

Don't drink and drive, smoke and fly

Telepathy would be rubbish.... I mean, I'd love to be able to read other people's minds, but that would mean they can read mine. NOT GOOD! Otherwise, perpetual youth >>>>> immortality, and teleportation, while extremely useful, also strikes me as rather boring compared to flying cars. I'll have a flying Ferrari. And a Pint, or maybe 5, it is Friday after all.

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Bronze badge

How would The Sun approach this?

...and how would their readership respond?

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WTF?

Hoverboard!

one that works on water....

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Two For The Price Of One

If I choose the light-speed vehicle do I get a time-machine thrown in for free?

Or vice versa?

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Perpetuum Mobile

They want a copy of the Einsturzende Neubauten album ? Have these people never heard of Amazon ?

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Perpetuum Mobile

'Perpetuum Mobile' is the fictional Perpetual Motion Machine; a machine that will go forever, having been initialised, with no additional input of energy in any form from outside; in other words, a perfect machine that loses no energy in friction, sound, heat, etc.

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Pint

perpetual motion ?

I think a better translation would be "free energy", like Steon's Orbo device, or one of the other of the hordes of bad physics machines. Like the decades long fusion power plasma scam.

Me, I would prefer booze with no hangovers, or viagra without headaches. Those would be scientific advances.

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A step backwards

I'd settle for opposable toes and a tail!

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Talking dogs

It's not that much to ask, is it?

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Happy

alphaville

Chyurr. What kind of dystopia will that lot give us?

Shameless and uncoordinated elders bopping away at birthdays and bar mitzvahs. Ever concerned that we might be our own great-grandparent. And as blogs n' Twitter have shown telepathy is something that must never happen.

It's typical of these Ruskies: just because they had a Soviet Union they think that everyone else should have one.

Here's three inventions I'd like to see:

1) matter transformer: in go holey old socks; out come fresh, new, slightly smaller socks. No more economy. No more material envy.

2) planetary propulsion: goodbye sweaty days and frozen fingers. Come July / January, just fire her up and whizz round the 'helion a couple of months worth. No more extremes; just all the best parts of the year. As an added bonus one-third of the existing population apparently never ages.

3) 80's-style special effect of rotating square with faces frozen on it - in space. Ostensibly a land of play and lollipops (all free). In actuality a cruel, harsh lesson in growing up for the young. Using genetic techniques the occupants are mutated into chymera - half donkey - and endure terrible suffering at the hands of the Thuggee. Only having metamorphosed themselves into responsible members of society can they join planet Earth.

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Alien

But But But

I voted for the time machine. Once you have one of those you can arrange to collect all the others as appropriate.

Who would /not/ vote for a time machine?

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Boffin

Steorn Orbo

Was that not a free publicity device rather than a free energy device?

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WINGS

Sod the flying car, I want some wings! (and earmuffs that don't look girly 'cos it's cold up there).

Telepathy would be the worst invention since old-age. Just think of its effect on the legal process and the inevitable thought crimes that would go on the statute books. Gah!

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Paris Hilton

Why not all...

I'm not greedy, I just want it all... except instead of just medicine for all illnesses and diseases, I want CURES for all of them. I mean, what's the point of immortality if you can't cure what ails you too?...

Paris, although I'm not sure I could stand a lifetime of her

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hahhaaaa

bioorganic organs, I want one of those!

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WTF?

perpetuum mobile...

...as any fule kno, is the eigth track on the Penguin Cafe Orchestra's 1987 album "Signs Of Life".

And I've already got it.

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Go

Voted for the cures

With all of the illness you can have these days I vote to cure them all. Immortality will only cause the planet to super over populate, Time Machines can't be trusted to anybody but Michael J Fox, Alternative Fuels are round the corner anyway, and I don't trust three quarters of the people driving on the ground let alone in the air.

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Coat

Re: But But But

You can have your Time Machine.

I'll take Immortality and have a bit of fun while I wait for you to turn up. Ok?

Yes, the leather jacket. Crumbled to dust you say? I must have lost track of the time again....

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FEMBOTS!!!

What no Fembots? That should be number one =)

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Alert

@ El Reg

I want an Infinite Probability Drive.

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