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back to article Bristol crim caught with mobile up jacksie

A 22-year-old Bristol master criminal will spend eight weeks in prison for attempting to smuggle a mobile phone into prison by "concealing it internally", as the Bristol Evening Post delicately puts it. Aaron Walker had been ordered back to Horfield Prison on 30 April for breaching the licence for a previous unnamed offence. …

COMMENTS

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There are some problems with your comment:

Lets hope it wasn't a touch based phone or he could have run up a very large bill.

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IT Angle

if it was on vibrate?

i dread to think...

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IT Angle

I don't want to think about this for too long

But surely wrapping in tissue is a silly idea... something slippery and impermeable like a condom would have been much better.

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Joke

A Tissue?

Goesintight!

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Hmmm

Wonder where he put the charger?!

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Pirate

This is not uncommon

I have a friend who works specifically in this area and he tells me that this is really very common.

What is more concerning is that mobile phones need chargers..... and they often get into prisons in just the same way.

Makes you glad to be bored in IT support really

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N2
Bronze badge

Please dont tell me...

It was discovered because it was 'switched to vibrate'

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Ouch

I hope it wasn't an iPhone/Blackberry or one of those JCB rugged ones - that'd smart a tad!

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Go

80s

Perhaps a suitable punishment would be to have his sim inserted into a 1980s phone and then have THAT inserted into his rectum. It would certainly perpare him for dropping the soap in the prison showers...

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Coat

@ John Hichliffe

It was the charger cable poking out of his trousers that made them suspicious in the first place...

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Coat

talking out of

Wow, you could call it up and talk out of somebody else's arse.

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Windows Mobile

Come on, it must have been a Windows Mobile phone. PITA?

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@A Tissue

Genius! In other news you owe me a keyboard (and a decent excuse to the boss as to why I suddenly started laughing... Code comments aren't that amusing!)

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Coat

Southville

Well, he's from south of the river, innit? They're a bit special that side of town... nevertheless, top marks for trying.

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Sorry ...

If it wasn't on vibrate, would it be a ring tone?

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Thumb Up

Hopefully not

.. a Nokia Maemo ;-)

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Coat

is it me...

or is your anus ringing?

no coat for me, just assuming the position

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The important question...

...what model was it?

It is important, because there's a difference between squeezing in an Ericsson GH688, and a T65.

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Happy

Oh my.

Gives a whole new meaning to the "slider" phone. (Or maybe it was your basic chocolate bar phone??)

OK, I'll stop now.

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Bronze badge
Joke

Re: This is not uncommon

"I have a friend who works specifically in this area..."

In the area of smuggling rectally inserted mobile phones into prisons?

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Anonymous Coward

new TouchFlo(w) interface........

or was it a Bum Deal....

or maybe a new v3.0 iS*** with and "cut & paste" thingamajiggy

Thank God it's Thursday (used to be TGIF but with a 4day week recessionary wipe.. etc)

ok..back to sleep

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huh !

i suppose it was a small factor phone or was it something like a Iphone ??

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Flame

crap mobile

Shame the battery didn't explode.

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Alert

RE: This is not uncommon

What, you have a friend who make a living by using his arse to smuggle mobile phones in to prison?

Does it pay well?

Rob

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Coat

According to Google Latitude

He was up his own arse.

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poop deck

In some prisons they now have a special seat where they can x-ray up the poop deck without having to resort to rubber gloves.

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Joke

Ouch!

I wonder if he was on Ohhhhh 2.

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Joke

Re: RE: This is not uncommon

It doesn't pay well but you get good job satisfaction

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Thumb Down

At least he wasn't trying to smuggle....

... aftershave (http://www.springerlink.com/content/j5876v156261484w/).

... axe handle and various other objects (http://urostream.blogspot.com/2006/02/i-never-ask-why_22.html)

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Paris Hilton

I buddy of mine...

works at the Women's prison, you should hear about alll the random crap they confiscate....

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Stop

Hmmm.

Any news on his ringtone?

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Funny...

...how no one has used the 'pictures or it didn't happen' line on this one.

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Breach!

Hmmmm...

Clam phone. Hinge first. Ouch.

Mines without a thumb logo. No assist required.

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Anonymous Coward

BOSS chair

The special phone-finding chair is a Body Oriface Security Scanner:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7152744.stm

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Silver badge
Go

Gives a whole new meaning....

to his "30 Days in the Hole" ringtone!!!

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Boffin

@Chrome

"Code comments aren't that amusing!"

You're obviously not coding properly... all of my code comments make me laugh when I look again 2 years on; similarly other peoples comments make me chuckle regularly!!

If comments aren't both funny and informative, there's definitely something wrong!!

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Mobiles in Prison

One chap at a London HMP had one up there for four years before dropping it when crouching; mindyou he used every day to call his wife, so it came out for air daily. Us docs realised the likey cause of his rectal prolapse.

He tired to claim it was against his human rights to take it away after such a time

Keeping mobiles charged up is the challenge as chargers are too easily found and a bit spikely to be stored with the mobile.

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Thumb Up

I have to leave now

I have become rather weak from laughing at all these naughty crude posts.

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Gold badge
Coat

@Philip Stott

Ringtone?

Yes it would be, but one with a lot of bum notes.

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Anonymous Coward

Prisoners today have it easy...

Back in my day smuggling a mobile phone in was no laughing matter. In the eighties we used to use some real big arseholes to smuggle the phones in....

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Joke

When cautioned, he was advised...

You have the right to remain on Silent...

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Linux

He's innocent I tell you

It was a bum rap!

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Happy

USB charger

Perhaps a usb charger might hurt less!

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Anonymous Coward

mains charger

Most illegal mobes in UK prisons are charged up directly from the mains electricity.

A plug, some stripped wire, and two seconds is about all it takes to fully charge a cell phone battery with 230volts AC.

Very dangerous, but quick.

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