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back to article 'Alien' lifeform wakened from 120,000 year Arctic slumber

American scientists, showing the reckless disregard for the warnings implicit in quality science fiction that is so regrettably common in the boffinry community, have revived an ancient lifeform which has been slumbering beneath the Arctic ice pack for 120,000 years. To add insult to injury, the scientists believe that their …

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Alert

May I be the first...

to welcome our purplish-brown, blobby overlords.

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Well, someone has to.

I for one welcome our new indestructible prehistoric overlord.

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Alien

More importantly

Can it shape-shift?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT7AH4JyuNs

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neb
Go

let me be the first...

...to welcome our purplish-brown, blobby overlords

oh please oh please oh please let me be the first, or i'll cwy =(

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Anonymous Coward

E coli isn't deadly

"Loveland-Curtze assures us that H Glacei isn't a deadly pathogen like E Coli, however."

E coli isn't deadly, either, for the most part. Unless you're talking about one or two specific strains. So there!

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Anonymous Coward

I seem to remember....

...that's how the Cybermen got revived back in Troughton days.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: let me be the first...

Andrew Johnson 3 beat you to that wholly unoriginal post.

Still, hey, at least you're the first neb, not the third.

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jai
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take off...

...and nuke the site from orbit! it's the only way to be sure

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Alien

ha ha

nice story!

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jai
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and yet...

...across the gulfs of space, microbes superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us.....

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Paging John Carpenter....

No doubt Hollywood movie-moguls are lining up to secure the rights to this - I can hardly wait. A low-rent John-Carpenter-style B-movie in which the 'evil resurrected aliens' are actually about as threatening as a bag of melted Gummi-bears.

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Black Helicopters

Who do these scientists think they are...

....meddling with forces they cannot possibly comprehend? I demand some kind of oversight.Perhaps the religious community could be of some help here? After all, they are moral people with a grasp on science. I suggest some of those creationist types, with their knowledge of the earths origins, their assistance would be very welcome by the scientists im sure.

Just dont let them create blobby super-dinosaurs and put them in a fucking theme park or something. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO JEFF GOLDBLUM AND HIS FUCKING CHAOS THEORIES!

AC...I dont want their blobby assassins coming to exterminate me with..err..goo or whatever.

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Stop

Hey, I've got an idea

Let's invent a new joke sometimes instead of auto-parroting the dreariest television catchphrases. Wouldn't that be fun? (Score: -5, Disconcerting)

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Alien

I hope we have...

... Kurt Russell and Keith David on standby with a Flame-thrower or two.

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Boffin

Overlords, etc.

I suspect SB aimed for "o" on the keyboard, and someone managed to hit "e" -

"Neb" is commonly known as a nose; so perhaps more appropriate verbiage would be "beaten by a neb" ? The beauty of this is, it works equally well with a nob.

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@Ian Ferguson

Thanks for the reminder of that brilliant and pretty damn scary film...

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All your...

...teeny-weeny base are belong to us.

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Possible film franchise for Mr Carpenter... OH!

totally unrelated to the title, I'll order my chest bursting alien now then... Or will this be The Blob all over again ;/

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Pirate

Welcome

to the zombie apocalypse when it escapes from the lab

<<<arming up with M16s, shotguns and molotovs

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Re: take off...

Noooo! Haven't you seen The Andromeda Strain?

Nukeing it will only spread it faster!

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Coat

May I be the first to

Welcome our "Let me be the first" spotting Domimatrix Overlady moderator to this Alien lifeform article comments section.

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Viral

Perhaps this is actually a cunning Viral (badum tish) marketing campaign for the soon to be remade version of 'The Thing'.

Let face it it's never going to be as good as Carpenters version so they have to hype it plenty to get bums on seats.

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Anonymous Coward

Am I the only one..

thinking of the old sci-fi series where this blood virus life form starts taking over the human race? Anyone remember what it was called?

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To do this properly...

they should have revived it in a lab appropriately placed somewhere on the ice cap, then sent back a message saying, "...another lab tech has come down with this mysterious illness, and Dr Jones is complaining of headaches and acting strangely..." before cutting off all radio contact.

Of course, there is the chance that plans to surprise the troops when they arrive and have a good laugh might go horribly wrong...

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@jai

"....nuke the site from orbit!

Ah, but if you refer to the film "Evolution", you'll know that this is how they propagate - the more heat, the bigger, the more purplish brown and the blobbier they get.

But the good thing is that we just need to get in a few crates of Head & Shoulders... (although to be a nit picker, the chemistry behind the explanation in the film was a tad inconsistent.)

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Linux

They are not microbes

They are nanites.

First they will take over our machinery, then all technology, at which point they will win as we have no other way to defend ourselves against something we cannot see.

Run to the hills, hide in places where there is no technology.

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Dead Vulture

Hahaha

An Ed-Tard whining about unoriginal stories?

Oh the irony is so sweet....

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Coat

title

I'll get my nanosuit...

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@Paging John Carpenter....

No need to do this ... in "the blob" (at least 1958 original) a large blobby organism terrorises a small town before its discovered that the only way to control it is to freeze it which they do with C02 fire extinguishers before the USAF safely dispose of it in, ahem, the Arctic.

Thus I suspect that this blobby lifeform revived from its frozen state in the arctic may well be much less than 100,000 years old :-)

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retired engineer

This article had stated:

"In summary, then, we're looking at an ancient lifeform - albeit tiny - recently wakened by meddling scientists from its hundred-thousand-year sleep beneath the polar icecap."

Here factual reporting stops and unfounded assumption takes over:

"It's capable of surviving, perhaps, in the most hostile alien interplanetary environments known to man."

This is unproven ~ a conclusion not warranted by anything the laboratory has done to date. According to your own report, all it's survived is a very cold environment. Please don't extrapolate by inserting your own wild imaginings.

"It can evade mankind's toughest lab sterilisation precautions."

That is simply not known. Considering what the report says, all it has survived to date is a very long stay in a very cold environment. Claiming it can survive "...mankind's toughest lab sterilisation precautions" is alarmist and far from any demonstrated truth.

I'd appreciate fewer reporters' unfounded opinions and more facts in scientific reports. Perhaps you need a few more "perhaps" qualifiiers.

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Reminds me of a quote, oh yes:

"That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die."

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Pirate

"....nuke the site from orbit!" is from Alien 2

right? I am 90% sure for Alien and definitely 100% sure that it was NOT evolution

but anyway let's see what the community think..

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Go

Oh good God no.......

"The purplish-brown, blobby entity was "coaxed back to life"

It's not Mr Blobby is it?? Thought we got rid of that thing ages ago, it's too horrible to even contemplate!

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Hmm

PROBABILITY THAT ONE OR MORE TEAM MEMBERS MAY BE INFECTED BY INTRUDER ORGANISM:

- 75%

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Happy

Unoriginal?

Unoriginal, maybe. But the "may I be the first to welcome..." posts are a nice tradition on the Register, a catch phrase if you like. It's something that everyone understands.

As for RetiredEngineer, I believe most of us have been reading the Reg. long enough and have sufficient intellect and command of English to understand changes in context and the house style.

If I want news, outspoken comment and amusement (and the moderatrix) I check the Reg. out at lunchtime. If I want rigorously checked scientific technical papers then there are plenty of really boring publications you can turn to. "Camshaft Spotters Monthly" perhaps?

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A name by any other Rose

Dr Jennifer Loveland-Curtze I recognize as a sexologist from a Pynchon novel. Herminiimonas glacie I cannot compute - anyone have an xlation?

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Stop

@keith9600

"Please don't extrapolate by inserting your own wild imaginings."

You're new here, aren't you?

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RE: Oh good God no

Alex Cooper wrote: "It's not Mr Blobby is it?? Thought we got rid of that thing ages ago, it's too horrible to even contemplate!"

I think it's a fertile spore from the main blobby conglomerate.

What we have to worry about next will be the thousands of mini-blobbies breaking away from their lives of petri-dish drudgery and restarting the plan to take over Saturday night television...

I'd actually pay to watch Davina and Ant and Dec being beaten to a pulpy mess by a thousand Mr Blobbys.

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Joke

Can I just point out...

That any scientist called Dr. Jenny Loveland-Curtz, while likely to be beautiful and brilliant, will not be able to defeat the earth-threatening blob on her own but will need some kind of low-brow, no-respect-for-authority loose cannon to get the job done.

On the upside, she'll probably survive and will get a new boyfriend out of it.

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@AC

"Nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure" was from Aliens (they declined to name it Alien 2).

An extraterrestrial pathogen which had its growth radically accelerated by heat was from Evolution.

The link between nukes and extraterrestrial pathogens was The Andromeda Strain, werein the laboratory where the pathogen was studied was equipped with a thermonuclear failsafe, to sterilise the faciltity (and most of the surrounding area) in the event of a containment breach.

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Boffin

not quite.

"It can evade mankind's toughest lab sterilisation precautions."

It can apparently pass through bog-standard sterilisation filters. I doubt that it survives autoclaving, which is the standard labware sterilisation procedure. Nuking the site from orbit is probably unnecessary.

And what Huw 3 said about E.coli.

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@commentards

Top commenting boys and girls, needed a good laugh today.

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Coat

Overlords?

Take me to your agar.

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Anonymous Coward

I can't believe my alma mater is going to be responsible for the destruction of the world!

Oh the humanity!

Well, actually having dealt with all to many of the gits there, actually I can. But it's still embarrassing.

One other small request: the acceptable alternate monikers are Penn State or PSU. Penn Uni comes a bit to close to The University of Pennsylvania. They would be the high falutin' Ivy Leagures, and it is quite insulting to be associated with them.

Where's the head in a bag icon? I am so ashamed.

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Alert

but nukes won't work...

..against shoggoths and Great Old Ones.

"there is life eternal within the eater of souls...."

Cthulhu ph'tag'n (akshly it's Yog-Sothoth but do you really care?)

we're doomed.

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neb
Heart

Re: Re: let me be the first... By Sarah Bee

i don't care anymore, i was noticed by Sarah Bee =)

i'm now gonna go have a lie down as all this excitement is too much for me

now what was the name of the priapic convicts brief, i think i might have a new case...

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Alien

bags of mostly water

"May I be the first...

By Andrew Johnson 3 Posted Monday 15th June 2009 09:57 GMT

to welcome our purplish-brown, blobby overlords.

"

of course you "bags of mostly water" forget the purplish-brown, blobby overlords were here long before you were, so its for them to welcome us after they fully awake and start useing our bags of warm water and salts as their breeding grounds anew....

did you people not see the premise of the very first "Regenesis" before they lost the plot and moved into mundain story telling.....

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Unhappy

Just to be perfectly clear

We have made sure that the ultra small microorganism isn't a bunch of deadly alien nanomachines programmed to convert the entire planet to grey goo havn't we?

no?

I was afraid of that!

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Silver badge

Oh great...

So it's either 'The Thing' or Tom Baker's Doctor bowel-looseningly scary Krynoid.

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Joke

Nothing to worry about.

After all, we know that (by the laws of prehistoric Science Fiction writing software)

... it will catch the common cold and die, or

... it will be killed by a band of peasants with torches, or

... a cute kid will talk to it of God and it will die, or

...

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