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back to article Nurse Lovelace gives hardened lag 55-hour stiffy

A US former convict is suing for unspecified damages after prison nurse Judith Lovelace's tender ministrations provoked a 55-hour erection which left his todger "irreparably injured", the New York Post reports. Career crim Dawud Yaduallah, formerly David Hanley, claims the unsolicited hardening happened in March 2006 at the …

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Bronze badge
Joke

Sentencing Guidelines

Does this mean the end of stiff sentances?

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Pirate

Turn things around

How about using this as standard punishment for career crims? That might make them think twice (although they often fail to even think once)

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Paris Hilton

Medication

"mood-stabilizing medication approved by the FDA to treat both the highs and lows of bipolar disorder" - looks like it's working on the ups and downs as well.

Paris, as she's unfamiliar with todgers in any other condition.

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IT Angle

And?

No mention of computers or technology.

Slow news day?

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Paris Hilton

Question

May I be the first (and hopefully the last) to ask the obvious question? Does Nurse Lovelace have a sister called Linda?

Paris, because she (probably) knows all there is to know about hardened todgers.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: And?

There was no mention of African antelopes or Miley Cyrus either. What's your point?

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Flame

"Hard" Labour

Saves on Viagra though

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Lovelace ?

Lovelace ? In anyway related to THE Lovelace ?

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Telling quote

"Yaduallah's lawyer, Elmer Keach III, said: "The medical literature is clear that if you see a doctor within 24 hours, you generally won't have any permanent damage. He didn't see a doctor for over two days.""

That's a bit like saying 'its not our fault the patient died of a heart attack caused by us giving him too much medication! He should've gone to hospital when he experienced chest pains!'. It should would've been painful and possibly required nasty surgery to correct. The fact he was a convict doesn't change anything. Last time I checked "severe mutilation" isn't a punishment you'd expect in a civilised society.

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Bronze badge

Re: Re: And?

Sarah,

Why does an article about 55 hours of "hard time" make you think of Miley Cyrus...?

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Thumb Up

Seems an idea

Do we really want career crims breeding anyway? I know I'd gladly have given this to the little chav I lived next door to.

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IT Angle

caused difficulty in his marriage

and being thrown in the joint did not cause any harm to to his marriage nor the bipolar disorder ???

IT : Impetuous Todger . I Tresume

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IT Angle

@ AM

She's called Lovelace, that should be enough of an IT twist. Stand-up journalism if you ask me

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Anonymous Coward

Wilt on High

Someone been reading Tom Sharpe?

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Unhappy

Perhaps we need a script that....

... automatically deletes the account of anyone who asks "where's the IT angle" in bootnotes..

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IT Angle

category

Re: And?

Well, me old sod, if there's no IT angle to an article, odds are it's in the Odds & Sods category.

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Coat

Talk about

Hard Labour...

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Earl

And I for one am thankful there is no mention of the screechy Miley Cyrus.... little disapointed about the lack of African Antelopes tho'...

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Ice?

She told him to put some ice on it? We need more detail here. Was it particularly cold outside, or does this particular prison have ice machines? Or did she offer the ice as part of the medical treatment for the condition?

What kind of African antelopes are we talking about here?

And who is Miley Cyrus?

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title

With the amount of Viagra spam, I consider this story totally related to computing!!

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Coat

Odds and Sods...

... FTW!

Mine's the one with "convict #...." on it.

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Flame

@Telling quote

Way to miss the point.

He was in prison, he couldn't just pop to the doctor's.

He did the right thing - he went to see the prison nurse, saying he had a problem. The nurse told him to go away; it took over 2 days before she arranged for him to see a doctor. Hence the lawsuit against the nurse.

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hahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahaha!

it's so funny laughter alone is the best comment :) well done El Reg this is the sort of off-the-wall that i avidly read you for! :)

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Flame

Bi-polar

Clearly when they said bi-polar, he was happy downstairs and unhappy upstairs.

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Bronze badge
Coat

Hmmm...

"...mood-stabilizing medication approved by the FDA to treat both the highs and lows of bipolar disorder"

Treatment for bipolar disorder -- and now his monopole isn't working either... Some days it just doesn't pay to get up... oh, wait a minute...

...and what was his cellmate's reaction to those 52 hours -- is he suing for damages, too?

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Happy

assault charges...?

"difficulties in the marriage?" ..... I may be a bit premature in whipping this comment off the wrist, but the difficulties may have been hysterical laughter and lack of empathy of aforesaid spouse.

Still, walking 'round a prison with a stiffie may be a health and safety issue which needs to be probed a little deeper too!

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Paris Hilton

That was a

Bit of hard time for him then.

Paris because she loves hard time

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Paris Hilton

Where can I get this stuff?

Perhaps someone will send me a pharmaceutical marketing email.

Paris, 'cos she's never tried bipolar.

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IT Angle

Todgers...

It's all you Reggies really care about, isn't it?

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Coat

Penile correctional facility?

OK OK, getting my coat already...

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Gold badge
Happy

"Nurse Lovelace." Hardened criminals

Merkins.

You could not make this up.

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Joke

darwin

at least there's no chance of further pollution of the gene pool from that direction...

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Jobs Halo

55 hours

Never enjoyed himself so much, he probably played with himself all that time as well. I mean, wouldn't you?

Look lets be sensible, how can you have "erectile dysfunction" and at the same time "pain during intercourse "?

Hey, no more jokes about bipolar, thats serious stuff.

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Silver badge
Coat

African Antelopes?

not swallows?

(I am not suggesting coconuts migrate)

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Boffin

@AC 08:32

Dysfunction is not the same as complete impotence; apparently he can rise to the occasion, but only with great difficulty and/or unpredictability.

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Thumb Up

Maybe his report was not uncommon

Wonder how many times some inmate has come on to the nurse with a similar complaint and asked for tender ministrations to relieve the discomfort.

How often in porn does the plot involve a nurse and a persistent erection?

"Go away and stick ice on it" sounds like a reasonable response.

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Joke

Nurse Lovelace gives hardened lag 55-hour stiffy

Since the "treatment", the title should read:

"Nurse Lovelace gives hardened stiffy 55-hour lag"

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