Celebs as diversions
Gordo really is getting desperate, hoping a bit of celeb glam from TBL and Sugar will obscure the indelible shit stain that coats (or perhaps IS) his entire government. Perhaps the sight of Joanna Lumley making one of his more odious ministers look as appealing as a used tampon stung a bit, and he's now going to co-opt anyone else with name recognition just so they can't spring out and make Shahid Malik look like a prat over his home cinema system, or Andy "a rating for every YouTube clip" Burnham look like an utter fucktard every time he opens his grotesquely pointless mouth.
Well, there's plenty more celebs to go, so I wonder what's next on the cards? Ken Dodd doing a bit of fact finding at HMRC? Jordan as a special adviser on (over) inflation to "Wacky Al" Darling? Wayne Rooney's been abroad a few times, so perhaps he can help out at Charles st, at least on weekdays. A bit of a shame George Orwell's dead and gone, cos he'd be a perfect PR front for most home office shenanigans, and in his lunch hour could help the Met out with their "difficult" issues re presenting harassing photographers/black guys with Mercs as essential to counter terrorism.
If he could wangle Sharon Stone as a personal adviser and got her to do that leg crossing thing every time he did a press conference, maybe no-one would notice that the country's fucked, broke and headed to hell in an express handbasket, and elect him and his crew of inept stalinists again next year.
Paris, cos she'd never be Gordo's patsy.