A new kind of Rant

After bitching and moaning about WolframAlpha a few days ago from this author, we have this.

Obviously Google Squared isn't ready for prime time, but if you have so little love for this company, why does its Maps feature prominently on your company's website milo.com?

That makes this diatribe a new kind of rant!

Indightful journalism then

Did you get turned down for an admin post with google? What the he'll's the problem. A company that can rapidly innovate, and deploy through labs and isn't afraid to get it wrong? That's very good behaviour, from a mature company. Where as this article is purile anti-google fanboi drivel. Come on Reg, you're better than this dross.

Branded?

Hey, Ted, can we count as a FAIL that you actually installed the Comcast software and branded your IE?

Paris, because she's joshin' with you, too.

pics

could you please post the pics of your queries a bit bigger ?

I have trouble reading the text from the results and also the comments you put in red.

Or am I the only one having this problem ?

thanks

Is it me?

Or do all these so called "knowledge engines" simply put loads of references from wikipedia in there just to bulk them out? Also, since when is the phrase "united states" used as a lead in to each individual state, rather than the country as a whole? The first entry i was expecting was a big map of the whole US with some interesting information. Instead i get a list of the 7 or 8 most boring states, and the option to carry on looking at yet more states.

Answer for you...

You asked "Am I dumbass?" but failed to pose said question to Google. Let me help out here and tell you that the answer is "Yes."

Google Squared useful? Nope. Far from it. But it's an interesting idea. But all you seem to specialize in is knocking stuff. No attempt to balance things: yes, poke some fun at it, but also point out where it does work and where, in the future, it could work better.

So, to use your own eloquent words, "Ted Dziuba, kindly get the fuck off out of my internet."

BTW, I would have thought someone with such a fondness for the words might get it right: it's "Fuck off..." or "Get the fuck out..." but not "Get the fuck off out..."

Dumbass.

you know...

I don't think this person should be permitted to publish any further.

Clearly just a self involved rant attacking a Google toy which they haven't even released. Google labs isn't "beta" it's just a "what happens if we do... this".

Oh an Milo.com? "Powered by Google" for the maps. If you hate them so much try another data provider. No, the argument that you're content to use their maps service and yet wish to write this diatribe of an article are not unrelated. If you have a hatred and principles stick with them.

Stop the whining and get on with it. Oh, and please don't attempt to be a journalist, you just give them a worse name than they already have.

Paris, because she knows what experimentation is.

I can't help thinking...

...that the word "Squared" in that last sentence is superfluous, Ted.

I also can't help thinking that the result "kmacleod" is appropriate for where humanity is going, if you think dystopian authors, so it may well be relevant. Without the Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, too!

I'll wade in...

If you want to use i.e, please upgade to V8, not use 7. And there is me thinking this is a technology site.

OMFG!

This is simply the funniest article that you've written, better even than the Ruby Map/Reduce article. Can't stop laughing! Keep it up! :D

@Drew

How about the rest of the article?

@Ted

They describe it as a first step. First step.

Could some other Reg writer please write a story lambasting Ted for his ability to get down to Tesco with his first step? I mean it takes him several steps- he even has to use a car (developed by someone else as he's clearly too crap with tech to build one himself. Nevermind that it's quicker and easier to buy a pre-made solution, he should have designed and built it himself!) for part of the journey. Clearly, Ted is teh failz.

Also, his technique when taking this first step was poor (though it was getting out of the depression he's made in the sofa, so wasn't really representitive of the bigger picture of his journey to the shops) to the point where consistently using this system would lead to horrendous inefficiencies. He could modify it later, but didn't for this step.

So clearly, Ted is teh failz.

And haven't we recently stopped using assrape as a way of emphasising someone being in prison? It's even filtered out of most of the comments (though that's more to do with those comments being blocked).

Plus he's using windows / IE / comcast and... well, that surely destroys his rep 'round these penguin-loving parts?

@Sean Groarke

The term "Get the fuck off out" is acceptable in some parts of the world, I would be more inclined to say its depends on the regional dialect though. Either way its generally understood.

Personally, I enjoy Ted's articles, if for nothing more than to read the comments of the anally retentive whinging douchebags who cry about his use of language or whatever else.

Is there some sort of Killfile for this foul-mouth ranter

Just wondering, because swearing is what dur-brains do to seek attention when they have nothing useful to say.

no more potty mouth...

I'll be avoiding reading anything by this author unless he cleans up his act and refrains from using swear words in his text - not needed and not clever...

Just a little bit.........

From where I am sitting:

Google are a little bit Monty Python.

Google are a little bit Microsoft.

I like the first, I don't like the second.

Google come up with a steady stream of interesting stuff, some of it useful, much of it not. But some of their misses may well turn into hits later on, with some more thought. I say 'Let the crazy development continue!", they are one of the few companies who aren’t trying to reinvent the round wheel by making more round wheels.

And onto the side of Google that is becoming increasingly depressing.... Google want to be the internet, at the moment they are developing crazy ideas and buying up all sorts of stuff in an attempt to grow larger, nowt wrong with that, that’s how business grows. However, once they own the all the bigger social networking/video sharing etc sites and then release Google Waves, for many people they will effectively become the internet. Monopolies are scary, they take over with good ideas/innovations, then stifle with self serving and poorly implemented shite. Attempting to trample on and stamp out all real innovation by others, along the way (see MS).

I like what Google are, I don't like what I think they are going to turn into.

The axis of evil is almost complete, the heavens are coming into alignment and all points of the universe are converging. Google, the final piece of the puzzle, are growing in power and will soon join with their brethren, IBM and Microsoft, to shower us in shite for the rest of eternity. Only one thing stands in their way, but does any one amongst us have the courage to sacrifice themselves, for the good of us all. Could you be the one that the prophecy tells of? Could you, against all odds, reach for the power button on your PC, turn it off and go spend some quality time with your family instead?

No me neither, an eternity of shite it is then. Well that’s that sorted then.

Do you ever get the feeling that you should have stopped wya before you did?

Meh heh heh

Google Squared is pure entertainment - just search for random data sets and see what laughable results turn up.

I can kind of understand what they are doing, and even though the data is shit, it's from the internet, which is 99.999% shit. They're doing it better than Wolfram, because that uses it's own small data set, which may be correct but is the size of a gerbil.

Google's approach is more realistic; now we just need to tell the machines that not everything they read on the internets is true. Now I worry that the machines will rise and kill all the fleshy liars as part of a data cleaning and deduplication drive.

Excellent article as always though :)

Rise of the Cretins

Don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer in the Everything's Mostly Shit philosophy that Ted seems to be a great exponent of, but this guy really is taking the biscuit.

Ted: You are a cretin.

This article is bashing google for no real reason. So what if it doesn't work first go? If you follow this logic then Ted would kill innovation.

Alternatively, did Ted consider that it's not supposed to work? MS is bring out Bing, AskJeeves has returned, could this be google waving a flag and going "Hey, look at me, I'm doing 'stuff'!"

Less of Ted, please, Reg?

Keep it up...

Keep it up Ted, your articles make my Monday mornings that little lighter than usual (",)

As for the idiots above, would you like some cheese with that whine?

And, Anon Coward, upgrading to IE 8?? Shhhhh! I did that a long time ago and had to wind back all of my windows machines to 7 because they crash and burn on simple things like Google Maps and js automation. When they bring out a real upgrade that doesn't cost half a gig in memory then it'll be worth upgrading to.

What rubbish.

Two pages of bile including incredibly low-budget annotated screenshots which just serve to highlight the author's inexplicable grudge against google.

I personally think it's good that google try these things, whether they work or not. I'm sure more helpful members of the public than this 'writer' can actually contribute and help them improve the project.

More Square Nonsense

Search for mineralogy. Add another 10 results.

It helpfully gives you the information that cleavage was born on December 26th 1973.

And if you click on that box, it helpfully tells you that cleavage's full name is 'Darlene Magnolia Ricasa Antonino-Custodio'

You'll also be sad to note that 'color' died on 28 September 1914

Jolyon

Stupid rant... not an article.

Why even post this? the register deserves better.

When I came across google squared, a few develoeprs were gathered round my box, having a little play with it, we thought it was a good next step, not working in a particularly accurate way or anything, but pretty inovative and something that, if google spent time improving, could be a very useful and clever tool.

I'd like to see you build something that even compares to this version of squared. If not don't bitch and moan, it's google labs after all, if it were linked on google's hompeage, yes, poke fun at it all you like.

Very poor article

This article is very poorly written. I am not a prude but the the constant use of the word 'fuck' and its variants in this article feels forced. I am also not a Google advocate but the points you are attempting to make are not well served by your tone or style.

Obviously I will be cancelling by subscription etc.

Pwn3d by comcast...

Now thats FAIL!

[NelsonMuntz]HAHA[/NelsonMuntz]

Of course Ted uses IE

He also slags off Linux in a not very coherent or useful way

With slagging off Google he probably gets a two for one deal

Well done

That was a master class in trolling. The swearing is even back!

Bravo sir!

Dubious evaluation methods

Very fun idea, but until a microformats/HTML5 revolution in how the fabric of the Internet is made up, it's going to be fairly rubbish. Problem is, scenarios where I want unqualified, unattributed factoids on demand are slim — and when I do, finding them via an automated parsing system that provides utter nonsense a fair chunk of the time and rips the isolated figures/text from the original context… takes what little value there was in the task and throws it out the window.

Queries you use (more so than with Wolfram review) aren't too helpful though. Being incredibly vague and generalistic without a remotely realistic use-case scenario, let alone success hypothesis, isn't aiding your point. Search for 'tennis' or 'video games' and set some criteria (or don't, even) and you get interesting data (with just as much erroneous crap to take the piss out of).

Meanwhile, people having a go at Ted for alleged Google hating — give it up. People with no sense of humour who invest themselves in humour columns never get sympathy. If you want some serious insight from the same author on Google's latest HCI/tech/world domination promises, read the Wave presentation review: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/03/google_wave_and_developers/

moar fail

On an even failier note - searching google for "google squared" puts a link to this article above the link to said app

evidence here - http://i39.tinypic.com/n5sq37.png

fuck you google!