While they're being innovative here are some other ideas:
Helpful Support Agent - a radical new design of the email support agent which is able to sync its suggestions to have even a fleeting relevance to the problem being reported. Currently considered impossible by many.
ArcadeAgain - useful new feature allowing you to actually use the stuff you have paid for offline, when your console, which you have also paid for, fails catastrophically and is replaced by a refurbishment after a month of waiting.
Avatar NFO (Nuke From Orbit) - brilliant utility allowing you to round up all your friends' creepy looking avatars, put them in a virtual room with your own dozy faced gonk, and blow them up using a virtual space weapon. Imagine the fun when they log on and have to go through that annoying fucking creation process over and over again! It's the only way to be sure!
Ha Ha No TV! - satirical weekly newsletter which lets you have details of wonderful features you have absolutely no access to. Formerly known as Inside Xbox.
Derrentasticator - aimed at small companies, a development framework for embedding hypnotic advertisments in plain view. Designed to provide a valuable service to users by overloading them with endless banners and promotions while all they want to do is find that sodding video they saw the other week.
Magic Peripherals Next Generation - first the 64Mb memory card for 40 quid, then the WiFi aerial for 60 quid, Next Gen takes this to the... well next generation! Some of the next generation must-have gadets include:
- Xloppy gives you 1.44Mb of usable storage in a handy toast sized slab of beige for just 35 pounds.
- HDMI isn't for everyone - why not invest just 89 pounds on a Hercules Amber Light - a small adapter which turns your 1080p output into a more manageable 320x200 single scan two tone game fest arena! Comes with free 14 day trial of CGA SIM on XBL Arcade. Note - dangerous whistling ozone producing non-ROHS display not included.
- Kempston Kontroller - yesterday's technology at today's Microsoftastic Crazy Prices! 70 pounds and comes with a free packet of thumb blister plasters.
Do I win 589 Microsoft Points?