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back to article Sony eyes smile, smirk-controlled music phone

Do you weep during Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven or grin from ear-to-ear when your hear The Monkees? If so then you should be using a device that changes tracks according to your facial expressions, at least according to Sony Ericsson. SE_expressions_patent_app Sony Ericsson's expressions tech: could replace the need for …

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Happy

Great Idea

If I look depressed it will automatically scan my music for suitably depressing songs?

Maybe they could do the opposite, if they think I'm too happy the could whack on the Smiths or if I look too sad they could arrange for the next track to be "always look on the bright side of life"..............

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jai
Silver badge

another technically impressive idea that's utterly useless

the amount of people that i see, listening to music on their phone, while staring at the phone's screen the whole time is..... well, it's none actually

everyone starts playing the album or playlist, then shoves the phone in their pocket and either goes back to sleep on the train or carries on walking to work

if i'm listening to music while at my desk, the phone is face-up on the desk, i'm not holding it in front of me.

so i don't see how this device is ever going to get a chance to see what a person's face looks like apart from the 2 seconds when something rubbish gets played and i'm already reaching for the skip track button

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Coat

Oh dear...

So, when I'm sitting on the train looking miserable, hate my job, hate my commute, hate my life, my music player compounds the problem by playing Radiohead?

Mines the one with the straight razor in the pocket

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0

stupid tech

That's gotta be one of the stupidest ideas ever... no matter how you bend it, its gonna create a surge in suicide rates for sure!

Assuming it matches the music to your mood, sad people are gonna face a never ending playlist of emo songs and eventually put an end to their misery.

Assuming it does the opposite, everytime yoú'r happy, you'r hit with emo tracks, eventually forcing you to stay sad to avoid it, eventually leading you to snuff yourself.

Trying to guess what music i want to hear, is something a machine will never be able to do.

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0

Right...

"For example, if the camera thinks that you’re happy then it’ll rifle through your music library to select similarly upbeat songs."

So what, if you look depressed it will play more depressing songs and make SURE you want to slit your wrists?

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another potential niggle

is that you have to walk around holding your phone/mp3 player out in front of you like a tit. don't most people put them in pockets?

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Bronze badge

oh great

so when im upset my phone will depress me more and push me over the edge to finally top myself !!!

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0

Ugh.

Okay, when I'm working I'm generally in a fairly good mood. I like background music, and I prefer it pretty varied. Here's the thing, though: when I work, I quite often frown. Not because I'm annoyed or irritable, but because I'm thinking. I don't want my music centre misintepreting my expression and trying to cheer me up, or to play something sombre to match my mood...

Actually, scratch all that. "Ugh" sums it up. Ugh.

Have these people nothing better to do? Seriously? If they really have nothing better to do that sit around having fuck-awful-stupid ideas then give them my number and have them call me. I'll give them something useful to do. There are lawns that need mowing; shopping that needs carrying for old people, that kind of thing. Stuff that'll help people. Jeez.

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Ash
Joke

Westlife

Will these phones come with an automatic screen-cleaning system for when you barf violently all over it after realising your daughter has "treated" you to the latest Britney Spears aural-abuse track?

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heh

'gurn for death metal'

There's going to be a lot of ravers out there getting a nasty surprise then. lol

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Happy

Nookie?

What happens if you're 'on the job' with the missus? Depending on speed, motion, orientation and wardrobe height your facial expression will contort phenominally. What will the Walkman play then?? Gary Moore? Shane McGowan? Kylie??

Also, you've got a graphic of a bloke smiling while his 'phone plays Bruce Springsteen!! I mean, FFS, make the sodding picture believable!!!

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Stop

OK?

Supposing you just plain ugly like me, what will get to listen to?

You only have Hannah Montana on the device ( I know, just pretend your 7 year old has borrowed it for the day ), you try and look miserable, what then? Logical paradox followed by explosion?

My player only has Lamb of God, Slayer and Megadeth, so matter what I look like it will always play my "pack'o'dogs fighting" music, as my Missus calls it!

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Thumb Down

It will get confused.

I'll put on some Arch Enemy or Lamb of God or something else similarly brutal, and I'll be smiling like pig in shit. Then it'll change my music to something "happy"?

Do not want!

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