A 34-year-old Russian woman who tips the scales at 39st 5lb (250kg) has "surprised" doctors by dropping a perfectly healthy 4lb 6oz (2kg) baby boy, the Times reports. The heavyweight mum, who suffers from a hormonal disorder, is named only as Nonna M by Russian newspaper Tvoi Dhen. Describing the pregnancy as a "shock" after 16 …
or it didn't.... erm... wait! Some things must remain unseen.
What she actually said was “as a rule women over 150kg have such huge arses they simply can’t get pregnant”.
I'd give it all up for you
Let me be the fifth or sixth person to point out that the headline should read "248kg Russian drops healthy 2kg sprog".
Wonders of nature
It's at times like these we are reminded that humans have been successfully reproducing for millennia longer than all this "don't smoke, don't drink, don't swear, don't be fat" nonsense has existed. Lo! A child is born.
The important question is: is the father still alive, or was he flattened?
There are of course two other pertinent questions:
3) No, really, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY? The only possible explanation is some kind of fetish for the Staypuft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters. Or blindness.
39 stone. And she's fit to be a mother in what way?
No Playmobil reconstruction of this one thanks!
16 years of trying!
Most of that was just trying to find the right hole
Or is it the worse-for-wear 'father', re-emerging after mysteriously going lost nine months ago...
There are other things which have mass in the birthing process - generally babe is ~half* the mass expelled (amniotic fluid and placenta make up the the bulk of the remainder)
* Can't recall where this fraction is coming from - it could be that I'm making it up - but it's certainly a fraction ;)
eating for two
classic excuse seems momma got the bigger share
Perhaps you would like to explain how a hormonal disorder makes a women unfit to be a mother.
Different AC this time
At quarter of a tonne she's not exactly likely to be a shining example of the ambulatory art, is she? So any sort of activity with the mum apart from taking the flatbed out for a drive into the country or chasing Harrison Ford through tunnels will be out of the question.
At least it'll be a relatively stable household- the husband can't run away and leave the child (until he hits escape velocity, anyway).
So jokes aside, she can't do anything with the kid. She's unlikely to be able to teach it anything or she wouldn't be in a cigarette factory (or Russia). It's glandular weight, so she might have a decent degree of self control- that may be why she's not 350kg. That's something, I guess. And she'd be unlikely to be able to run after the kid to hit it, so it's fairly safe from domestic abuse.
Not unfit, just unable. In particular, ovulation requires a complex sequence of hormones to be produced in the right amounts at the right times. Lots of things can interfere with this, including (presumably) an extraordinary amount of excess body fat and all the futher problems this causes.
It's not clear if the weight is related to the hormonal disorder, or the hormonal disorder is related to the weight.
The last quote from the doctor, however, implies the latter.
@ Francis Boyle
>>>"Perhaps you would like to explain how a hormonal disorder makes a women unfit to be a mother."
Maybe because 98% of the obese always claim to have a "glandular/hormone/thyroid/metabolic disorder"? Nobody can ever admit, 'I'm a bumbling lardbody because I eat absolute shit and never get off my ass." It's cliché. It's bullshit. Anything to avoid taking responsibility for yourself and your circumstances. That attitude is disgusting--more disgusting than the 300lbs of cottage cheese thighs that kid bounced off of on the way out.
C'mon, she weighs >550lbs! Even us Americans with our (not undeserved, sadly) reputation of being overweight rarely get to that extreme. That's about 100 lbs shy of "Send a construction company with the ambulance call to knock a wall out". That's "Riding the Rascal (scooter) everywhere" territory.
How does it make her unfit to be a mother? Ever notice that fat, lazy parents have fat, lazy, spoiled kids? If you can't discipline yourself, how the hell are you going to discipline a child? I have a son; my job as a father is to raise him to be a responsible, hardworking, and polite member of society. To do that, I have to lead by example (because "Do as I say, not as I do" parenting doesn't work.) Wanna take bets on how Twinkie McTransFat's kid will turn out?
Sorry if this hits too close to home for some of you, but deal with it--I'm sick of seeing it everywhere. Take charge of your life, nobody else is going to. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can you come and work for the NHS please. We need someone to talk that sort of sense.
Over herer in Blighty the solution to being too effing fat is to label people disabled, give them a disabled parking space, outside their house, the rights to park 1m from whereever theyre going, and all the assiciated benefits payments.
Do you think that might them fatter?
I think they take their bleeding car keys away and cut their benefits. They will soon get fitter.
Re: @greg 14:13
Quite so. Everyone knows that all fat people are fat for the same reasons and in the same way, and that gluttony is a sin to be punished.
Gosh, the sarcasm is rising today. And no, I haven't put on a few pounds lately.
Not all fat people are fat because they eat tons of shit and are lazy, some people really do store more fat naturally. My wife and I eat the same meals (<2000 calories, balanced), sleep the same patterns, same level of exercise and have similarly dull desk jobs and yet she's much larger than me. To claim that because she's fat that she's going to be a shit mother and raise fat lazy kids really does speak volumes. Wanker. Same goes for the rest of you.
2 Kg sounds a little on the light side to me, though... But if they say so, good.
The Russians are confused about all sorts of things.
"Irina Osadcheva, deputy head of a Moscow maternity clinic, explained that “as a rule women over 150kg have such severe hormonal irregularities they simply can’t get pregnant”."
Irina needs an education. She could get it by visiting WinCo Foods in Sacramento or ElkGrove or Fairfield on the day after the welfare checks go out. She would no doubt look on in wonder at the number of 200+kg ladies trailing any number of sprog ...
Yes, I know, I'm adding to the "septics are all fat" myth. We aren't, not all of us. But it's true that all too many are.
 Metacrawler it, if you must know.
There's a difference between "Chubby" and "Morbidly Obese". Some of you are defensive because you're mebbe 30lbs more that you should be. Relax. Yeah, you probably want to get some exercise into your life (Cardio is important, regardless of weight), and look at what you're eating, BUT: I'm talking the "Can't walk", "Rides the Mart-Cart", "100+ lbs past where they oughta be" crowd. You don't get that fucking fat from eating 2000 calories a day. And those are the ones you always (without fail) hear crying about their "disorders".
If these "disorders" were so goddamn common, why is it only now, in a time where life is far more sedentary and high fat/carb food is more easily available than ever before, that the obesity rates are skyrocketing? Why weren't we seeing similar rates 60 years ago? This is a tech site, do the math people.
I refuse to be "Sensitive to others' feelings" when the "others" in question are killing themselves. A little less "Sensitivity" would go a long way to straightening shit out. This coddling of people, like 'It Wasn't Me' spoke of (and I see it everywhere over here, too) ain't helping nobody, but it is hurting people.
News Flash: Metabolic rates vary from person to person. One man can eat at 'Neato Burrito' for lunch every day and stay thin. Another man turns into the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man. My wife and I have vastly different metabolisms, just like AC 15:51...but unlike his wife, mine's not a heifer. She has this crazy diet regimen: she consumes <= calories than she burns. Try this plan for 3 months and I guarantee you'll lose weight, or I'll triple your money back.
Or, keep on with your, "<whatever>'s not MY fault!" excuses. Just don't expect sympathy from me; I watched my tax dollars buy a new livestock-capable MRI machine at the local hospital, because they couldn't get some fatass into a normal one with 10lbs of axle grease, a shoehorn, and running start.
@AC: 15:51 - The Biggest Loser!
Ever notice they are always men. Women usually (always) fluctuate in weight; they need the extras for child bearing. Blokes don't have to worry about those type of things... except our guts!
... at lease she shouldn't have to worry about buying milk.
Can you imagine her breast feeding?
Do the math
if calorie intake - energy expended > 0 then
you will gain weight
A glandular issue may well pre-dispose you to putting on weight (when compared to another, like-for-like). But, only if you persist in taking in more calories than needed.
Listen to Marjory Dawes: eat dust.
I think the point was the someone who weighs 39 stone can't exactly do much with their child, given that they probably can't do much for themselves. Apart from sweat, eat, get out of breath and perform gravity-assisted feats of movie magic with Harrison Ford.
Glandular or not, mass comes from somewhere. In the case of humans it's food. Put less in, you put less on - it's simple. You don't get fat eating salad... just ask any vegetarian!!
There was an interesting documentary on Channel 4 recently about a massively fat kid who had every excuse in the book and a mother who kept pandering to his feeding habits which (some would say unsurprising) consisted of junk food, take-aways, and stuff of that ilk. When it came to "treating" him - i.e. cutting off the lard supply - he turned out to be incredibly weak-willed.
I guess some people are just happy needing the Fire Brigade's help to get out of the house. But one thing's for sure: people that fat can't exactly do all the meaningful active stuff with their kids that the rest of us can enjoy. Stuff that add an important layer of bonding and learning with their child.
Despite all the wonderful things you'll teach your kid, you might want to outsource for compassion. If you pass on your interesting take on World views, your child should grow up to be a rather cruel bully. Kudos.
Two thumbs up
World class asshole-ary and douche bag-ery all in one easy target. Bravo greg, bravo /golf clap.
... were witty the first time. Since then several millennia have passed. The lot of you* are about as funny as the plague, and half as pleasant. And talk about originality? Don't bother, you haven't got it.
It's easy to hate, despise, make fun of people who are different from you. Much harder to look at yourself critically and learn where the prejudice comes from and try to do something about it. None of us is immune, but some of us have learned to grow.
The rest of you are merely contemptible. Feh. Bugger off.
* With a few notable exceptions. I did notice you.
The power of lard.
Perhaps it was my good fortune to have been a lard- assed kid, since I learned early on how to read product ingredients lists (for nutrition/ calorie content, then for meat- by- products when I went veggie, and now for the latest "better living through chemistry" additives that we just. don't. need.) and that if I want to enjoy a quality of life uncluttered by medical weirdnesses (and not cringe if I catch my reflection in the shop window) I will need to get my duff off the sofa and hit the treadmill (or bike or weights or whatever trips your trigger) while keeping the Kcal content to around 2000 or 2500 a day.
Flash forward a handful of decades and it seems that most "food" on market shelves has an ingredients list at least two inches long and remarkably little to show for it nutrition-wise*. Folks who subsist on such garbage and also rely solely on their internal mechanisms to determine when they've had "enough" will probably gain weight because it takes a truckload of McShit/ "low fat, low carb"/ "heat and eat"/ processed stodge to get even close to the body's vitamin and mineral requirements. So I offer precisely one modicum of sympathy to the larger among us.
However, that in no way absolves people from abdicating control of their diets and nutritional intake to the corporations who have no qualms about lining the tin with the bare minimum necessary to call whatever- it- is "food" and filling the rest of the space with, um, filler. Learn some basics of nutrition (not the fad diet du jour ... I'm looking at you, South Beach, Atkins, et al). Do not do what the adverts tell you (their job is to sell, not educate; 'sides, it never tastes as good as it looks on teevee). Read the labels, that's what they're there for. Knowledge is power, use it before it's made illegal.
Hells, if the fat asthmatic kid (that'd be me) can lose the lard, any one can. :D
* Recently someone did a story on how the U.S. Gubmint commissioned some folks to find a way to make food more affordable in the early 1970s, since the rates of inflation at the time were making food (real food, by today's standards) too expensive and there was concern about folks not being able to afford to avoid malnutrition and starvation. Hence high fructose corn syrup and other glorious fillers, extenders, preservatives, and so on that are exacerbating, if not causing, health problems. Now we have malnutrition and obesity, not exactly a step forward.
Hmm. Fat Bastard Troll?
*I'm sure I'd notice you...
not even a few pounds above!! sigh....
16 years to find a way in
Dedication right there.
Re: Yeah, whatever
The article states she suffers from a hormonal disorder, it was reported as fact not that the woman in question claimed to suffer from such a disorder. As such your 14:13 rant would indicate a certain level of illiteracy, but maybe I'm just jumping to a quick conclusion. And BTW, no I'm not a lard arse.
Have any of you read the article?
No where does it say she's obese.
She may simply be an extremely tall, thick boned and muscular lady.
Female body builders often suffer hormonal imbalances.
@ "she shouldn't have to worry about buying milk"
Obesity only adds fat to the areas surrounding the actual mammary glands, unless I'm mistaken; it does not make the glands themselves larger. Fat itself can't produce milk, at least that's what they told us in biology class, so I don't think her being obese would in and of itself increase the capacity for milk production.
People are probably confusing it with a related unnaturally-large area on certain commonly-seen domestic livestock, but those have been specifically hybridized for greater milk output unrelated to body fat.
BTW thanks Paul Webb for the "Lost father" comment - it was quite funny :)
- Comment Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers
- Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row
- Game Theory Dragon Age Inquisition: Our chief weapons are...
- 'How a censorious and moralistic blogger ruined my evening'
- Amazon warming up 'cheapo web video' cannon to SINK Netflix