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Duke Nukem developer answers Take-Two suit

Inachu

Either way I say BULL SH** 

Coat

As a consumer who buys lots of games and past Duke titles let me tell you programmers the

following:

A. I am sick and tired of you resetting the release dates.

B. I am tired of you keep changing the engine which keeps bumping the release date father down the line.

C. I am sick and tired of hearing your products but never seeing any results.

D. By the time the product is out I will probably not buy it out of spite for the lack of concern you give to fans.

E. Go stick DNF where the sun don't shine.

Anonymous Coward

DNF. . . 

Coat

. . . normally means Did Not Finish. Looks like it still does.

Anyone noticed how the pics of il duce look a lot like Mickey Rourke?

Michael

Sadly... 

As incompetent as they clearly were at developing games (in 12 years they could have had 3 or 4 Duke games released by now, each one good for the day) they surpassed that incompetence with their clear lack of business acumen here.

"We're out of cash and completely stuffed if you don't give us this deal" is not negotiating Scott, it's suicide. Especially after wasting $20 million and 12 years. It's laughable that you are happily saying all this, without actually realising what you are saying. Your website says you've heard every joke about the release. Thing is, it isn't funny when it comes to looking at from a business point of view. They don't have a sense of humour, they just see a monkey who is sitting in a Ferrari. The monkey isn't intelligent enough to know what to do with it.

You're making lots of chimp noises now to stop someone taking what you see as your toy, but the rest of us are looking in the cage wondering why you didn't go for the bananas they dangled, because you'll be shot in the arse and taken out the car anyway...and all you've done for the past 12 years is crap on the seats and pull the wipers off.

Similarly, telling them the progress of the game....and making progress on the game without funding in place was just dumb. As is this posturing about the case. 3DR have already made it clear they have no chance of winning.

As for the PR angle? Your "fans" want the game. So, the public court case is "someone who might complete DNF" v "someone who clearly hasn't a chance of doing it", you've lost that battle too.

What T2 did was just good business sense. Not bullies. They were never going to let 3DR waste their money as they have their own. Miller's cries of "we never got the money" make sense, who would give him money to develop it?

Clearly the only asset is the game, and it's worth more without Miller and co.

Miller should have saved his $20M, because it's the most money he's ever going to get from Duke Nukem. Better yet he should have accepted this deal, because it's the best one he'll see.

For fans of the game, their best hope is that they in or out of court and a team headed by competent management finishes the game (although, the character is clearly nothing more than a bunch of obvious stereotypes and cliches, developing a similar character with a different name would be trivial)

Anonymous Coward

Best pre launch stunt ever 

if this is what it is.

But frankly I suppose not really required, put this game on the shelf, and people will buy just to own it, they are use to not playing it.

Anonymous Coward

Re : Anonymous Coward 02:26 GMT 

Coat

Oh, was there a bloke in that picture then?

I never noticed. Must have been distracted or something.

Just going for another look. Just to make sure you understand.

Ash

I'd buy it 

Thumb Up

I don't care how long it has been.

It's done when it's done.

"My name's 3DRealms. After some few days of R&R, I'll be ready for more action! "

Daniel Wilkie

@Michael 

Heart

Best collection of analogies EVER - hat's off to you sir!

Anonymous Coward

Complete DNF source code already leaked online! 

Coat

Here it is, in all it's glory:

1 REM << Duke Nukem Forever>>

10 PRINT "WELCOME TO DUKE NUKEM FOREVER!"

20 PRINT "(C) 3D REALMS 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009,..."

30 PRINT "PRESS ANY KEY TO START"

40 REM <<game code starts here>>

50 ???

Anonymous Coward

3DRealms business logic 

Alien

1. Pretend to write DNF

2. ???

3. Profit!

Adam Foxton

@Source code leaked AC 

Boffin

Nah, that's the earlier version. Since then they've changed from BASIC to Pascal; apparently it's more convoluted and utterly unnecessary and hence perfect for DNF.

I really hope that this is just a publishing stunt to drum up interest after 12 years of really bad jokes.

Anyone else realise that it's been so long in waiting that we've had long enough to go through Windows 98, ME, XP and Vista (and enough Linux releases for every man, woman and child in the world to have their own) since DN3D was released? And since the Duke "saga" began with Dr Proton taunting the protagonist with the name "duke the puke" we've had every widely-used version of Windows?

Let me just restate that- Duke has been around so long that someone born on the launch date of his first outing (when he was Duke Nukum rather than Duke Nukem) would, in about 8 weeks, be legally able to play the new game once launched.

To rephrase it still further, I really do need to get a life and stop playing 18 year old games on my old 386 "luggable" laptop...

Eddie Edwards

@ AC 

Happy

PRINT "(C) 3D REALMS 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009,..."

See, there's the problem right there. If they'd used a LISP macro they could have derived the copyright dates automatically. This line of BASIC has to be maintained by hand at least annually.

Andrew

Nothing new 

Joke

Seems they're been vigorously defending themselves against publishing for a long time already...

Martin Lyne

From what I hear.. 

it's meant to be over-management with people re-doiing things. But still, how did a dev not stand up one day and say "as much as I like this gravy train WE ARE NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS".

Failures all round it would seem.

bluesxman

@ Adam Foxton 

Coat

"when he was Duke Nukum rather than Duke Nukem" ... actually he was Duke Nukem first, then Apogee realised they'd name clashed with a character on Captain Planet so changed it to Duke Nukum, to avoid any breach of trademark action. Later it transpired that Captain Planet had big-fat-not-registered Duke Nukem as a trademark so he became Duke Nukem once again.

</pedantry>

Stuart Smith

Hmmm 

Paris Hilton

Personally I think Take Two is just as much to blame. Did they not think to stick their head round the door to see how there $12m investment was coming along. They should of scrapped this project 7 years ago and saved us all a bit of false hope. I never really expected it to surface anyway but would have been nice to play DNF on a next gen console or PC oh well....Hey whats the odds on Rockstar developing this ;-)

Paris - because she probably knows more about games development than Scott Miller.

Anonymous Coward

Other news points out 

.. the 3d realms actually met all the targets they were held too, and that basically the problem was that the money wasn't actually paid to them, but a kind of sister company.

Anonymous Coward

@ hmmm - ARRRRRRRGH!!!!! 

Unhappy

Should *HAVE* not should OF

FFS, I dont know if it is just you who posts lots of badly written ramblings to these comment sections but I am seeing more of this and I am becoming irrational over my hatred of this phrase. To the general population of comment writers please, please for the love of all that is holy the useage is "they should *HAVE* done something" and *NOT* "they should *OF* done something"!!!

(off for a lie down now)

RRRoamer

Uh... 

They were still working on this???? Derick made more progress on his Battle Cruiser game by himself than they did on DNF as a team.

That is just sad.

James O'Brien

@@ hmmm - ARRRRRRRGH!!!!! and @RRRoamer 

Happy

Ok someone needs a happy pill. Or a joint, beer, line, needle, roofie, whatever would help :)

Hell If I got that worked up about how people worded things I would just run me a nice hot bath, maybe put some good bubble stuff in it, lie back and slit my wrists as I wouldnt be able to take it anymore :P

Now for RRRoamer

God man nice catch on that one. I completely forgot that hes big and black and hes a one man wrecking crew (talking about Derek here in case you were wondering) who is the epitome of all programmers everywhere.

Ok, yes I smell the BS I was spewing there but meh. I will give Mr. Smart this though he did atleast get his bomb to the stores....

/Grabs the popcorn cause this showdown is going to be fun.

James O'Brien

Oh something else 

Paris Hilton

Why does it seem to be Take2 that has the games that have been in production the longest with massive flame wars starting due to whoever it is at the time?

Then again I am one of the "lucky" Bioshock owners who bought the game and couldnt play it for over 7 months until they FINALLY got a patch out for it and even then the game is unstable as hell but I can atleast get the door to the bathysphere at the start open.....

/And no I will NOT be giving Take2 any more of my money after the abysmal support I (and many others) got from them on BS.

mittfh

Re: Source Code 

Flame

Surely it would be easier to...

20 PRINT "(C) 3D REALMS 1997-2017"

Of course, what they're not telling you is the title is a contraction of:

Duke Nukem ( - it'll take) Forever (for us to get this game released)

Now it's not unheard of for software companies to delay release of a title because the CEO thinks of new things to add to it, or they decide to restart development on a different software platform (a synonym for "the view from behind a pane of glass" springs to mind), but usually the marketing department reminds them that it's generally a good idea to get it released *before* the developers retire...

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