ID

Surely you could do more damage with a plate across the head?

Don't need ID for them!

Birdman of Alcatraz

Robert Stroud ('the Birdman of Alcatraz') stabbed a prison guard to death with a spoon (the handle I believe).

Nanny knows best, but Ken doesn't

http://www.kenfrost.com/

(untitled)

I take it, it's really a human error data problem. But if not, then I know you'll say it isn't the fault of the poor sod at the till, but I think the air turning blue on encountering such corporate idiocy is to be expected and accepted.

These are not the drugs you are looking for

Isn't it to do with drugs? A bit daft but we don't want under 18s buying spoons and cooking up with them do we? Once you are 18 and it's legal to take heroin it's ok to buy spoons to do it. That's why it does not apply to plastic spoons.

And the plastic picnic knives

Bought a 50pk of disposable plastic knives the other day on the self-service till. Had to wait for someone to come over to authorise my purchase.

I pointed out how daft this was, as they were only plastic knives and can barely cut room temperature butter. But, was told, "we don't make the rules".

I then pointed out that I could quite easily buy a pen/pencil or even screwdrivers without needing authorisation, and stab someone with them.

I reckon that the funny look I then got was down to how quickly I was able to think about methods of stabbing people using common household items. Hey, I'm resourceful like that.

Flight Of The Conchords - Think About It

Children on the streets using guns and knives

Taking drugs and each other's lives

Killing each other using knives and forks

And calling each other names like dork

I saw a man lying on the street half dead

He had knives and forks sticking out of his leg

He said, Ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhhwww

Can somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please

Ooh, could somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees

Monty Python = real life

Self-defense Against Fresh Fruit^H^H^H...plastic spoons

I can never understand why some people use a credit card to pay for things that only cost a few pounds. Are they still in that Mr.Bean phase when they think that nobody else has one and they have to flash it around? Anybody who needs to use a credit card to pay for a few pieces of tacky plastic tableware ought seriously to consider whether they should be making such a mounmental purchase.

@AC

I seem to recall reading a crime novel where someone was beaten to death with a frozen turkey. Can't remember the details of the book, but it was set in London and featured identikit Kray type gangsters.

FotC

Can someone please

Remove these

Cutleries

From my knees...

I agree with Tesco's

As everyone who knows their Riddick films will know, in the wrong/right hands then general household hardware can indeed be lethal.

Teaspoons are a good start, and an underage policy against buying them should be rigourously enforced and punishable by a prison term so that these wannabe purchasers can learn how to use them properly, before being licensed back onto the altogether already violent streets of the UK.

This is a responsible attitude by Tesco's and should be fully taken up by all sellers/resellers of cutlery. Don't forget we already have improved security at airports and nobody complains too much anymore about the increased by 3hsr checkin times. I'm sure after a period of time maybe even as short as months the general poulation will get used to 3hr checkout times at Tescos in the aim of their safety whilst all underaged yobs are body searched for offensive weaponry.

in all fairness

this is in Halifax, some of the scrotes around here shouldn't be allowed anything even vaguely sharp. I wouldn't even give them a wooden spoon as that would be too solid.

@ Chris W

I think it may have been a debit card Chris, used for convenience instead of having to carry cash around. It'll all be that way one day, get used to it...

As for the ID-for-spoons thing, would this also apply to those packaged yoghurts and stuff that come with the little plastic spoons inside??

False positive?

I suspect these ID prompts are due to a shortfall in the way a supermarkets inventory is processed. For example, all the whiskey will be in a particular planning group and to enable a till prompt for the ID chck, the whole planning group is flagged as such; instead flagging individual products within the group. If the teaspoons are held within a general cutlery planning group with products that are actually age restricted then again, all of the given group's products will flag the ID check.

Maybe the supermarkets don't want to tell their staff about this possible glitch, perhaps they don't trust them to use their common sense and accept the ID check as a reminder with false positives.

@Chris

Wasn't that a Roald Dahl "Tales of the unexpected?

She clobbers him with the frozen leg of lam, the law eat the murder weapon

Reminds me of when I was a teenager

I got asked for ID to buy a copy of 2000AD in WHSmiths. I did actually have som ID with me, but to make a point, I took my custom elsewhere...

ID cards

Are we sure this hasn't been driven by Wacky Jacqui anyway?

I reckon she's got her Stasi minions going round making up all these dangers so the public find they have no choice but to get an ID card to buy household items.

Just about everything can kill a human so it's not far fetched to be asked for ID for everything. Next step from that is to supply a genetic sample when shopping in Tescos to ensure you don't have some crazy psychotic genetic disposition. Combined with a mental test to check you don't have aggressive thoughts at the checkout (quite likely if you are faced with all this!).

@ChrisW

"I can never understand why some people use a credit card to pay for things that only cost a few pounds"

In my case, that'd be because it's a cashback card I pay off in full each month, and I'll merrily take the CC companies for every measly penny I can get out of them given how they extort charges out of people at every opportunity... ;)

Ahh, Riddick: "Tea, actually ... I'm going to kill you with my tea cup."

Plenty of ideas from CSI, too - hmm, maybe we SHOULD require ID checks for the whole household department...

@ AC

Does "Lamb to the Slaughter" by Roald Dahl count?

http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/lamb.html

@Bod

I was thinking exactly the same thing over the weekend when I saw that Tescos are now operating a "Challenge 30" scheme for any age-restricted item.

I think I'm going to have to go to Asda just to see this for myself.

Reminds me of Homebase

Went in there a couple of weeks ago to buy a small hammer - got ID'd as it could be an offensive weapon.

No question about the 100 pack of stanley knife blades though!

(even better is that I was purchasing a large sheet of corrugated roofing plastic at the same - did they think I was going to break into cars the re-glaze them lol)

ID

Talking about ID cards, I had the misfortune to have to fly to London and back. I don't have an ID card / passport / photo driving licence. the only photo ID I have is my company ID badge. Newcastle were fine with it.

The stuck-up jobsworthy bitch working for BA at Heathrow lectured me on how I really should have a passport so I can fly to Newcastle. Last time I looked I still lived in the United Kingdom (unfortunately) - why do I need a fscking passport to fly internally!! stuff like this boils my blood!!!!!!

good news is that I got my polling card this weekend for the local elections, at least it's a chance to give Labour a bloody nose - wish they'd come campaiging at my door - Like most people these days I have a lot of spleen to vent!

Other dangers

All these suggestions of other dangerous things you might buy haven't mentioned the most lethal of them all, which is widely available in handy packaged form at all those supermarkets..

DHMO

That receipt...

Looks just like a Walmart receipt from the states, right down to the TC#. I wonder if a software failure like Tesco's this morning would take out Walmart on both sides of the pond?