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back to article Black hole swallows Barbarella rehash

The planned rehash of 1968 sci-fi romp Barbarella is no more - thanks to German intervention. Sin City helmsman Robert Rodriguez revealed in 2007 that he intended to breathe new life into the heroine and introduce her to "a new generation of moviegoers". This caused a certain amount of dismay, especially among those who believe …

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Raging Boll

Oh poo, this means that instead of the idea being drowned at birth like it should have been, there's only one man who won't let it lie, Uwe Boll - he's infamous (go on, google/wikipedia him) and takes advantage of the financial rules about filming in Germany to create the worst films known to man - so bad that they're not even remotely funny (Postal, Farcry, Bloodrayne, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark).

I'd put €50 on his name being mentioned with this project in the next year.

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one down

only 700 odd more rehashes to get rid of over the next few years and we might start to see some originality.

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Phew

now that was close.

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Anonymous Coward

re: Uwe Boll

I can't believe that guy's still breathing, boxing champ or not, his continued survival fascinates me.

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Stop

I thought it was...

The Red Sonia remake that has been canned? Rose McGowan was going to star and everything.

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Anonymous Coward

I wouldn't say this is completely dead and buried yet

given that we seem to be heading into a summer of genre movies that are chiming nicely with critics and audiences alike, to the extent that Fox are already looking to invest their Wolverine profits by reviving some other moribund projects. Not that I necessarily think a Barbarella remake is a good idea, but then I never asked for A Night At The Museum 2 either.

While we're talking movies, where's the Reg review of Star Trek? Call yourself geeks?

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Paris Hilton

Too Bad

Doubtless, Paris would have been a shoe-in for the lead role.

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Umm...

If they are going to remake this film one day, please make it hardcore straight to dvd release? It will make up for a really disappointing night 22 years ago.

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"Sexy" Star Wars Episode?

Why did my mind jump to an unholy combination of Jar Jar Binks and Ron Jeremy?

On second thought, I don't want to know.

On third thought, why would I admit to this?

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Paris Hilton

waow

do you think that one day american movies could happen someplace else than america ?

Like why do aliens, terrorists, tomatoes etc always pick a US city to attack ?

I guess they don't realise that, but it's a kind of laughingstock for the rest of the world :p

Paris 'cos she's explored places you've never dreamed of

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re: Uwe Boll

I found POSTAL quite enjoyable. It all is a matter of your expectations.

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Hollywood is out of ideas

Why can't this happen to more dumb comic book movies?

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Paris Hilton

An angel *is* love

If only they could combine the big red robot from The Black Hole and the general production design of that film with Barbarella, and also Ornella Muti and her spandex costume from Flash Gordon. I would pay to watch that. Or have it on some format that I could freeze-frame, eh eh eh.

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Happy

@cybersaur

Hollywood is out of ideas?

That isn't news. wHollyWeird ran out of ideas at least two decades ago.

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Hang on a moment

Is he suggesting Star Wars WASN'T sexy?

Now THERE is an example of blasphemy!

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Anonymous Coward

@ Ashley Pomeroy

Maximilian, his name was. Though I don't think replacing those Robochef arrangements where his hands were supposed to be with, say, a variety of motorised sex implements would be anything other than deeply traumatising

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Joke

Spandex robot?

So, you want to freeze-frame a giant red robot in a spandex Flash Gordon costume?

*ducks*

Sorry, yeah I know what you mean, I just had to say it 8-)

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Why Japan?

Why do American movies always happen in America? Why do the Daleks always attack London if they come to Earth? Why do Ghidra and Mothra and Rodan and Godzilla always attack Tokyo?

Obviously, because whoever makes a movie and TV show in a particular country is most concerned about it being interesting to the people who live there, with foreign sales being gravy if they're lucky and the movie does well at home in the first place. It would be nice if a higher level of realism could be reached, but this would require a medium with less pressing financial concerns... say, comic books instead of movies.

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Silver badge

Thank God we still have the remake of....

Total Recall in the works! My cinematic viewing future would be put at risk if I didn't have at least a dozen bland remakes of not-exactly-classic movies to choose from each Summer!

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Stop

Whuh?

He's been offered $70m to shoot some softcore pr0n and he turned it down ?

Has anyone got the German's phone number ?

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Holywood NI kicks Hollywood CA in the Nuts. Oh Dear, What a Shame... but they Deserved it.

Does anyone else here realise that Reality is AIDisaster Movie with B Grade Actors and a Crap Script.

Time for a New Show, methinks.

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I saw it

I saw Barbarella when I was 11 years old! Yup, the theatre somehow ended up playing it for the Saturday Matinee. Cost me 25 cents. I remember my jaw hanging open in amazement (not at the quality of the cinema, but at Jane Fonda nude). This was in 1969 in a small town in northern Ontario. I've been hor - er scarred ever since.

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jon

Blasmeme...

so you first saw it in 1987??? it was released in 1968, very progressive for its time... and yes, there are 'body parts' visible (in the starting credits), I recorded it from SKY a few years ago.... :D

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jon

remakes...

going by the hopeless remake of 'Day the World Stood Still' ... (too much FX, not enough message..) - it's most likely why they canned it....

Check out 'Masters of Science Fiction : Awakening' - definitely inspired by the original Day the World Stood Still - If they had used that script, it would have been much better!

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Half and half

Look, a 21st Century production of Barbarella could be worth watching. I've my doubts about Robert Rodriguez for the general sort of film, and the MPAA will likely R-rate the idea just for suggesting the orgasmatron, but it's a remake that could work.

I really doubt Hollywood could do it.

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Silver badge

Confession time.

I actually sat thru' the original Barbarella in a theater once. Was at the old Varsity in Palo Alto, probably close to 30 years ago ... It was the first part of a double feature, the second movie was the original Mad Max. My PhD candidate GF at the time asked during the intermission if I had any clue what the plot of the movie was. :-)

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Paris Hilton

If...

they remake the same opening credits scene,

I'll pay to watch it.

I'd pay to watch Paris too.

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jon

Re: If...

I think they actually made that a porn movie.. yes, some guy actually rented the 'vomit comet' (it's a large aircraft, that goes into a special deep dive, to simulate zero gravity! - the usual results give it the name! :) )

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Joke

Is it too late then?

I volunteer to be Barbarella's Excessive Machine?

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sponsored by the bbc?

Looks like hollywood is showing repeats, could be the BBC syndrome.

Heres a movies hollywood should make:

The unit in bed with paris one night and some of the weekend too, last summer whilst you slept dont say a word about a boy the terminator chronicles good will hunting bringing up baby.

I would list it as an x rated action film comedy thriller psychologically messed up bloodbath with serious moral messages for the world.

or we could remake superman.

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Reissue the comic strip.

I whip out the DVD every month or two, and never tire of seeing the young Jane Strut her stuff.

BAAAAAAAD monkey.

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Anonymous Coward

Dear lordy

there are many people capable of producing something like Barbarella.

It is just bizarre who is this guy, Rodriguez.

Oh it is that one, I suppose he is ok but nothing special, really Desperado; no great shakes, felt like a TV movie, From Dusk till Dawn; good spoof, could have been called Carry on Vamping, Sin City; couple of good scenes, but not all that.

Then we hit them, The Faculty, Spy Kids, I am just not going to comment, those two titles stand by themselves.

Let someone else make the film, who made Flesh Gordon? Bring back Howard Ziehm or Michael Benveniste.

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@John Savard

do you think that one day american movies could happen someplace else than america .

Um bourne series, traitor, jar head, kingdom, indiana jones, the mummy, scorpion king, star wars.

Do you want me to go on ??

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@M D Rackham

" Why did my mind jump to an unholy combination of Jar Jar Binks and Ron Jeremy?

On second thought, I don't want to know.

On third thought, why would I admit to this?"

That IS deeply worrying.

I'd guess the 70% of 40-something Star Wars geeks immediately jump to slave outfit Leia, the 20% of 20-something Star Wars fans immediately jump to Amidala in something tight and white, and the 'other' 10% (including me) jump to Mark Hamill back when he was still hot in a tank top, or Hayden Christensen on a windy balcony in a conveniently thin brown robe...ahh, good (not so clean) fun to be had all around!

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Unhappy

It's not just Barbarella ...

Hollywierd is really reaming the barrel of a bottom for this lot of gems:

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/166239/55_movie_remakes_currently_in_the_works.html

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Sexy Star Wars

Check out the Italian ripoff of Star Wars starring The Hoff himself, made a year after The Original.

The lead heroine spends the entire movie bouncing around in skimpy leather outfits. I personally loved the see-thru space suit.

Dodgy sets, camp outfits, lame sfx and the cheesiest of dialogue, it's a must see classic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzfuNSpP0RA

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