'Lunatic' Smith doubles ID card costs for Mancunians

Dear Ms. Smith.

I'm going to aquire some sheets of plastic and cut them into small rectangles suitable for you to turn into ID cards. I promise to be careful with the scissors.

I reckon this'll cost me about a tenner but, being a generous soul, I'm going to "allow" you to pay me a million pounds for them.

Smith is beyond lunacy and far out into fantasy

Saw a quote attributed to Wacki Jacqui on the bbc news site claiming "ID cards will deliver real benefits to everyone, including increased protection against criminals, illegal immigrants and terrorists,".

I can only assume they come with some sort of uber hi-tech (and so far secret) personal shielding to stop the criminals, immigrants and terrorists getting at you, possibly explains why they're going to cost so much.

Last to leave please remember to turn out the lights

Goodbye to the Lunatic

And, if the Sun is right (which would be something of an event in itself), then please let me wipe a tear from my eye (yeah, right) and say bloody good riddance to the mad two-faced bint. The only trouble is who the mad Gordo will replace her with? Mandelson? Jeeez no!

Wacky by name....

wacky by nature.

If I was a Mancunian I'd be feeling badly insulted that Wacky thinks me stupid enough to *volunteer* to be placed on an Orwellian biometric database and, further, *pay* £60 for the privilege.

The phrase "Turkeys voting for Christmas" comes to mind.....

Mancunian's n ID cards

The only mancunians to buy one of these dreadful pieces of plastic will be those entreprenures who will attempt to produce fake ones at half the priceof a real one.

To be fair, the fakes will proberbly work better than the real one's.

*sigh*

What does Jacqui Smith want? What's her agenda? Her motivation?

I'm having a very difficult time not comparing her to some far-fetched supervillain from a Bond movie, or Ming the Merciless.

Totalitarian, oppressive tyrant. I'm Liberal, but I think I may well vote Tory just to get ID cards out of the scene. What a sad affair... A 25 year old voting Conservative.

@AC (assassination): Not the way to do it. The next person in her place will just pick up the flag and keep running, only this time they'll have a martyr to the cause.

Burn!

The question is, if she was on fire and you happened to be walking past with a screwdriver in your hand, would you attempt to put her out with it?

Next step

The next step is predictable: create inconvenience for those without a card.

Posting a package over 100g? Save time on the new Post Office anti-terror checks with a UK ID card! No need for your passport or two recent utility bills. Your friendly postmistress will check the ID card photo and scan your bar code.

Council imposed restrictions on your local pub after trouble? Walk straight in with a UK ID card!

Want a seat on that train at rush hour? Beat the security queues with a UK ID card!

voluntary... my elbow.

Voluntary eh, what - like the scheme for pilots? That is to say, you don't /have/ to get an ID card, but if you don't have one, you can't get an airside security pass. Slight problem if you're a pilot, I'd guess.

So... expect to see indirect compulsion within weeks - police requiring clubs to check ID cards on entry or something. Nothing to do with the Home Office, of course, an unrelated quango / agency / whatever will take an 'independent decision'.

And anyway - who will volunteer to spend £60 on something they don't need? Will it entitle you to 5% off at the supermarket, or impress your friends with MP4 playing abilities, or look good round your neck while dancing? No.

As for protection against terrorism & immigration - what horsefeathers. Unless everyone in the WORLD has to carry a UK.Gov ID card its useless against non-UK-originating activities. Might as well claim a condom protects against computer viruses.

Sixty quid for something I don't want or need?

I just paid for a passport, wtf do I need an id card for? Is there a checkpoint on the road into Salford now?

Smith in Manc id wank

Wacky: Hello Sir, would you like an id card, they're voluntary and only 60 quid?

Manc: What are the benefits to me?

Wacky: Well, you'd be fighting terrorism and organised crime.

Manc: How?

Wacky: We take your finger prints, photo and details, enter it into a database and put the details on a card, when a crime is committed we will check it against the database and bingo.

Manc: I see, how many criminals do you expect to sign up for this voluntary scheme?

Wacky: Oooh, lots and lots I would imagine.

Manc: Can we have a General Election?

Wacky: Erection you say?

Manc: Er...... yes I have an erection, would you like to beat me off? only 60 quid and I can give you a receipt to cover expenses.

Wacky: OK.

house of cards

So the long knives are out for Ms. Smith. A very British coup. Yes, minister?

Unfortunately a new figurehead will not change anything in the way of policy on spying on the populace or the systematic ongoing efforts at tagging, spindling, mutilating, folding and finally leaving the records on a train somewhere (but not before having a ham-fisted attempt or three at converting the data into actual currency, be it merely political or dot com-style net(work) worth).

I, for one...

will flat out refuse to have an id card.

"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own."

- The Prisoner

And with that I'd also like to say a great big 'fuck you, you fucking crazy neo-fascist scumbag whore-btich from hell!' to miss Wacky.

Anonymous, because that's what we should be to our so-called `public servants.`

Devious, very devious...

"Even the Home Office concedes that "only a small number of volunteers in Manchester" will be able to enrol for an ID card before the end of the year"

In other words, if it's so difficult to get hold of the darned things that they have to artificially restrict the number of them that are available, then when the hopeless few who actually dowant the cards go and register for them, the HO can claim 'high demand'.

Very devious and also very clever. Surprisingly.

Missing a few billion?

Deeply depressing and proof this is a con was the statement that dumping ID cards would 'save' only a billion or so. I mean multiply the population by £30 (or the more realistic £600) means a tax of between 2 and 4 billion. Add in the other costs of running this system you are into a magnitude more.

The cancellation charge on an initial contract is a small part of the cost. Jacqui knows that (surely even she can't be that thick?) Deliberately seeking to mislead and cheat the people she took oath to serve should be treason. But then when you think the people are just there to pay for your bath plugs and porn - why should she worry.

Dead meat that even the hungriest hyena will walk away from. Oh and I was a Labour supporter.

@AC ("Burn")

No, I'd be a good humanitarian and end her suffering.

@Ash

Yup, the last thing we need is a martyr. The way to do it is to hack her computer (we know it's connected via Virgin Media), email some extreme porn (it's illegal now) to everyone in her address book and then stage her suicide. It's a bit of effort, but it'd be really worth it.

The headlines would be great: "Jackqui wacks self after broadcasting illegal porn fetish", though the Sun would come up with something miles better.

Gravestone? It's the only place for her in my dreams.

Biometric Enrolment

Does the biometric enrolment still include iris scans? If so, I would be interested to know what, if any, testing has been carried out to see how well the system will cope with Ocular Albinism and acute Nystagmis.

The first of these conditions results in a significant reduction in pigmentation in the retina and iris, along with a reduction in opacity of blood vessels. The second leads to persistent, involuntary motion of the eye which cannot be controlled.

Those of us with these conditions are likely to find this type of enrolment impossible, and if staff are not properly trained to recognise these conditions (and others which may lead to problems) will also likely end up very humiliating.

Protection

I feel protected by this already. I have lost count of the number of times i have been to manchester and wondered whether all those people are actually mancunians.....

Thanks Wacqui Jacqui, now your super dooper system will identify mancs for me without the need for them to wear army surplus anoraks and swagger like they have plopped their pants, Kiddohh!

"Its a craaaazy sit- yew-aashuuuun, when all i want is cigarettes and alcohol.....Ere's my ID card fellohhh!".

Oh dear...

Remember how this all started. Clean database, iris scans biometric photo and fingerprints, a national network of IPS enrolment centres, scanners in every port, airport, bank, hospital, doctors surgery, solicitors office and god knows where else, all connected in real time to the NIR (but not by the internet).

What have we got now. A photocard which might have your fingerprints and image encoded on a chip, but no-one will ever know because no readers exist. A card whose authenticity is established by flicking it. I'm not joking, according to official guidance it has a distinctive sound.

If anyone can ever find 2 in the same place maybe they could report back

Flick It

According to Dr Whitley this morning, because there are no card readers available the way people are advised to check if an ID card is the real thing is to "flick it". Apparently genuine cards will make a particular noise because they are made in a special way. This whole thing gets more bonkers by the day.

@Next Step

...absolutely right, Mike.

I remember a comic strip on the back of a Dead Kennedy's single (ah, those were the days) where someone was shouting to the police, "Stop Him! He's trying to buy vegetables and he hasn't got a number" (I think the numbers were tattooed on forearms or foreheads)

I didn't know why it stuck in my mind, until now...

Anyway, I'll get my coat because with no ID card I soon won't be able to buy a new one.

It's all a bet...

... by the Freemason Illuminati elite to get a home secretary that is worse than the one before.

Take a look at the recent list of incumbants if you don't believe me:

Kenneth Baker

Ken Clarke

Michael Howard

Jack Straw

David Blunkett

Charles Clarke

John Reid

Jacqui Smith

Next in line for the job is a Hostess Trolley from the John Lewis list

Overkill

I have a (paid for) photo driving license and machine readable passport also with photo. Why on earth do I now need another (paid for) form of ID?

Apart from which, it took the government long enough to sort out the passports fiasco - I have zero confidence that they:

a) won't screw up planning, rollout and ongoing support like they do with most Gov. IT projects

b) won't accidentally release everyones confidential data to the world like they did with the CDs

c) won't run massively over budget by making unrealistic assumptions like they do with most Gov. IT projects

d) won't subsequently claim it as an achievement when it's quite clear (and everyone knows) it was a dismal failure like most Gov. IT projects.

Has anyone run the numbers - i.e. is £60 per person for everyone in the UK enough to settle the Brownian debt mountain? There has to be a real reason for this madness.

Please bring on the general election.

Tuttle Buttle

Apparently, according to some bright sparks, the following should apply:

"If your innocent of all wrongdoing, why would you oppose having an ID card, you already have a passport, what difference does it make?"

Here's a few issues:

1. It's going to cost a few billion. We don't have a few billion to spend, we'll be in debt for the next 5000 years

2. We don't need another form of ID - we already have passports, drivers licences, birth certificates, banking details, post code info, CCTV cameras, RFID chips in our trousers - the list goes on

3. There's no conclusive evidence it will be any more effective against crime or terrorism than the current ID checks. Criminals don't always wear black hats and terrorists aren't always dressed in white robes with long black beards.

4. We don't trust the government with our data - they've proven a few times now that they are incompetent in this regard, or in fact, incompetent in every regard. Get them out.

5. Jaqui Smith is, more than likely, a mad evil old witch with a fondness for Stalin/Hitler - this is pure conjecture of course.

6. If you've seen the bad guys in the movie Brazil, you'll get a glimpse into the mind of the afore-mentioned soon-to-be-axed mad old evil witch.

7. Gordon Brown doesn't have a lower jaw

Enforced identifications

If Waqui insists on people having them they will become a mark of shame, associated with criminals, government workers (including bankers) and other untrustworthy types who she can bully. That means you will be discriminated against for holding one.

Life imitates art

I think it was Alan Coren who wrote a short story called something like "Due To Circumstances Beyond Our Control, 1984 Has Been Indefinitely Delayed". His thesis was that no British government could ever be competent enough to achieve a police state, even if it wanted to. If I remember correctly it ends with Winston Smith in Room 101 but "Sorry Mr O'Brien, we're out of rats. Will these white mice do?"

And now, it seems that he was right. Our super secure, unforgeable "clean" ID cards are actually going to be issued by Boots the Chemist. and you'll be able to tell by the noise they make when you flick them if they're real or fake.

I'd laugh if it wasn't for the stupid amounts of money that they've wasted on this fiasco.

Retail Outlets

How long before said data is "sold" to the retail outlets to make the price more attractive?

Pop into you local shop, handover your Award card for a "super duper" discount & help make the UK a safer place. Hell they might even try that one to offset the "voluntary" £60 !!!

OMG i hope i haven't given them even more "wacky" ideas.

Labour go away & slowly die.

Come June you will know just how much the UK populace resent you & the crackpot idea's you keep coming up with.

/Flame coz labour are well & truly burnt.

Lunatic?

So she's moving up the evolutionary chain then?

@dontsurf & SuperTim

Shame on the both of you. I had to get a new keyboard just to type all this.

Goverment idea of "Security"

1. Use a SmartCard/RFID Chip that contains all your personal data unencrypted.

2. Use vulnerable software to store said data on the uber-computer

3. Backup said data onto USB and maybe print off a few for good measure.

4. Take a train ride to (Insert place name here) and leave said USB/paper on seat. For Tom, Dick, Bin Laden to find.

5. Claim that it wasnt your fault. Fire the person standing closest to you at the time.

All this just so they can watch what we are doing

(Waits for the RFID readers in lamposts linked to CCTV to have your database ID floating above your head in CCTV videos)

Oh soo damn fun

That penguin is so cute!

Go n the Mancs

Let's hope that the good people of Manchester deal withthis inthe same way as the recent governemnt blackmail backed road charging scheme, and vote it right out of town.

Waste of money, and a huge step into the Police state land!

And the benefits to a Mancunian are?

1) Early sample of hardware so you can get an early crack at breaking the crypto and physical forgery.

Well that's the only benefit to *me*, the user of this piece of nonsense that I can see. Otherwise £60 right down the drain.

Otherwise what? Help plod get you home once your'e blathered? Collectors item on eBay?

Let's not forget that Greater Manchester Police if famous for being the former force of old James "Jesus" Anderton AKA "Gods Cop." Remebered for such gems as gays "Wallow in a cess pit of their own making." So force, sorry, "Service" promotion policy is likely to leave it well infested with senior plods of similar views. Not that I'm prejudiced against God bothering types. After all their practices are legal as well.

Sign because I think we all know what most will be happening to most to most of these.

Consider more carefully if you will...

As much as I dislike the ugly, baggy mouthpiece that Wacky Jacky is, bear in mind that whoever replaces her will still be doing the bidding of the home office civil servants, not Gordon Brown or even the Labour party.

It's not her motives you need to question, she doesn't have motives beyond feathering her own nest as much as possible before being given the boot. Ask yourselves: "Who will benefit from the control of all this information?" It's the civil service, not the government of the day.

@ Ash

What is her motivation? What's she like?

More like Dr Choo en Ginsberg M.A (failed) from Round The Horne.

Hmmm....

So how is small piece of plastic going to stop some mad nutter with a killing fetish from blowing me sky-high, if they so choose? So when I take my credit card to the local town bar and some git clones it out the back, how will this very expensive piece of crap stop that from happening?

I still maintain we should only allow the winning party to serve 2 years tops, that way they won't have enough time after the victory celebrations to do anything stupid like this!